Volume 43, Issue 25 | October 7, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2304	21 October	Legacy Park, Domain	Lord Limp
2305	28 October	Cracker	Dru Point, Margate, Hallowen run
2306	4 November	H4	Joint charity run Royal Yacht Club
2307	11 November	Hare required
2308	18 November	Hare required
2309	25 November	Hare required
2310	2 December	Cracker	Coningham Beach

---

---

UP AND CUMMING

19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Bicheno
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

---

---

RUN 2302 REPORT

Run 2302 marked the transition from winter to ‘summer’ runs. As winter refused to release its icy grip, nobody was sorry that it was not a bbq run. But the ‘don’t give a fark’ approach to customer service by staff at the Beltana Hotel was chilly enough, with Viagra almost sobbing into his glass over their obscure objection to serving whisky without ice.

Sir Eve issued some instructions – the walkers’ trail was about 5kms, runners about 7.5kms, there were hills, there was bush, there was water, there were walkers/runners splits, did I mention hills?

Leaving the pub, trail took several twists and turns designed to go up and down every hill in the vicinity. Lone Arranger dug in her heels at the first incline: I’m not going up there’, she announced, leading Ratu Steady Eddie and Gov’nor Honkers off to promenade about 3kms on a nice, civilised, flat little circuit and back Home with plenty of time to enjoy that farked pub service.

Meanwhile, the walkers’ trail continued up and down every hill that ever there was in the back streets of Lindisfarne. One consolation was seeing the runners’ trail split off up yet more hills. The only runner we saw (from a distance) was Thrill Seeker, who never seemed to get any closer, so maybe he was a mirage. Speaking of mirages, Grizzly the Great Pretender (‘It never rains on Hash’) was most definitely wearing his raincoat; he subsequently denied this, but the photographic evidence never (or, at least, rarely) lies.

Trail continued up Gordons Hill Rd before turning to come back along tracks at the edge of the Reserve. At least Sir Eve didn’t take us to the very top of Gordons Hill, although there were some snide and sarcastic remarks along the lines of ‘there’s another track going uphill; he must have missed that’. Grizzly and ITR were grumbling about why we had to go all the way up Gordons Hill Rd to the Reserve, when there were lots of little alleys Sir Eve could have used to get us to the same spot when … oops … they noticed a nice walkers’ arrow leading up from one of the afore-mentioned alleys. How did we get onto the runners’ trail? It was obviously the fault of one of those walkers in front – Growler or Bad News or Gingernuts or Triple K were prime suspects.

We came to yet another hill, headed in the direction of Lindisfarne Bay. Some, in immitation of Lone Arranger, declared, ‘We’re not going up there’, and followed an obscure little alley back toward the main road and On On. Most walkers did about 6kms with an elevation gain of around 230m – a shock after the false sense of comfort generated by mainly short and flat recent trails. Welcome to summer runs! Consensus was ‘shite run’, with one suggestion that Sir Eve deserved the title of ‘Most Hated Man in Hash’. Nah, not gunna happen – the title is where it belongs. And Sir Eve’s response? If you don’t like it, you set a fark-in run. Sound advice!

At the pub, confusion reigned around the delivery of meals by uninterested staff, who hadn’t put names to orders because that’s not the way they do things around there. And who expects a Hasher to remember what they ordered? Dummy spit of the night was from ITR, when his meal was delivered last (most people had finished eating) and was the wrong meal in any case. After spitting his dummy left, right and centre, he refused to eat; Grizzly took over his meal and declared it delicious. Who ate all the pies?

Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick were on fire and delivered an entertaining Lip session. Just Kidding’s very own Down Down song got another airing. Two Millstones were awarded – to Viagra and Bee’s Dick – by GM Clearfell, in a classy and dignified display of the right way to present Hash badges; look and learn, ITR.

On! On! – Cracker

---

SKOLS

• Sir Eve: hare
• Organ Grinder, Stunned Mullet, Eveready, Magic Touch, Triple K: c#ntry members
• Grizzly: booked flights for holidays, confused 8.30am for 8.30pm and booked both outward and return flights at the wrong time
• Bad News: at Bike Hash, locked his bike with his combination code and then forgot the code (even though it was based on his birthday)
• ITR: lost/dropped property (it was the Oktoberfest program for 2023, so not inside info after all)
• Just Kidding: new shoes (despite trying to hide them)
• Prawn Star: new shoes (revenge skol)
• Bee’s Dick: made a mistake with his bluetooth connection and revealed his porn addiction throughout the house
• Gingernuts: stopped for a Piss Stop in a service station on trail
• Contessa Coupla Weeks: talking on ABC radio about how she likes to find cocks on the roadside and take them home (and no Hash shirt for the interview)
• Viagra: indulged in an altercation with a bar person because they wouldn’t serve him whiskey without ice
• Just Kidding: carefully laminated Hash songs but forgot to have both sides facing out so she could read them
• Cracker and Her Highness Eager (from ITR): which penguin is the shortest? A false claim that a drunken mirror comparison proved it was Cracker
• Bee’s Dick (from Stunned Mullet): caught sniffing a jumper to see who it belonged to
• Viagra: MILLSTONE: 150 runs
• Bee’s Dick: MILLSTONE: 75 runs
• Eveready: presented FRB shirt to Bee’s Dick

---

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2302

---

ALL NEW OKTOBERFEST UPDATE

Greetings all. Oktoberfest is fast approaching, so here’s the latest guff.

Registration and payment:

Thanks to those who have registered and paid.  If you haven’t registered, tough bikkies.  If you haven’t paid, please do so ASAP.  EFT to the H5 account is the quickest option or pay the Hash Cash on Monday night.  H5  Account – BSB 067002, Account No. 28041332.

Accommodation:

For those who have booked cabins, most are sharing with whom they wanted to.  There are a few cabins with only one occupant as there have been a couple of late withdrawals, good luck to you if you are one of these, but that may change.

The venue, the Bicheno East Coast Holiday Park, has been sent a list of who is in what cabin.  When you arrive for check in, state your HASH NAME, pay the accommodation and you will be directed to the appropriate cabin.  For those in cabins, the cost is $60.00 per person per night.

For those who are camping or staying in caravans, as earlier outlined, contact the  venue directly on  63751999 or info@bichenoholidaypark,com.au and book your preferred spot.  Also mention that you are with the Hash  group.

Trail: 

Will be great. There will be a short NDIS trail, much longer walkers’ trail and even longer runners’ trail. The flat earthers will be happy as there are f…all hills. There will be a recovery trail on Sunday morning.

Gluhwein competition:

There will be one after the post trail BBQ and circle.  The GM will be the grand poobah and is open to bribery, offers of sexual favours and outright corruption.

Meals:

The club will provide  a BBQ lunch after the trail, evening meal on Saturday night at a nearby eatery and a BBQ breakfast on Sunday morning. All other meals are up to you.  There are a couple of interesting eateries nearby in the village.

Dinner on Saturday night will be at a table banquet at the Seaview Restaurant which is a 5 minute walk from the accommodation. We are negotiating about bringing SOME BYO wine. However beer, spirits and wine can be purchased at the restaurant.  NO BYO beer or spirits are to be taken along.

Drinks:

Sir EVE’S home brews, plus a variety of other assorted beverages will be  provided by the club for consumption after the trails.

Clothing Optional Run:

There will be one.  More details TBA.

That’s it, see you soon in Bicheno

Bad JM ITR and GoodJM Bad News

---

DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

---

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

---

Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/