Volume 45, Issue 12 | July 6, 2026

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On	Run Reporter
2400	20 July	Thrillseeker	TBA	Growler
2401	27 July	Ted Bullpit	The Rice Shop, Lauderdale	Wee Bev
2402	3 August	Poledancer	2 Alroyn Crt, Rosetta	Next Week
2403	10 August	Fish Fingers	Moonah Hotel	Eager

** Run Reporters – if you are unable to attend, please organise to swap with another hasher **

UP AND CUMMING

• 2 – 4 October 2026 H5 Oktoberfest @ Eastercoaster Resort, Orford
• 30 April – 2 May 2027 | Aussie Nash Hash 2027 | Adelaide

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RUN 2398 REPORT

I love it when a run report writes itself. This is bound to happen with any report about
joining our H4 brethren for their annual combined clubs charity run at the RYCT. In
FACT, one year’s report could easily be interchanged with another. They are all
bound to describe H4 geriatrics (with or without teeth) shambling and shuffling (with
or without wheelie walkers) way past their bedtimes.
Seeking to add something new and inspired by Sir Eve’s ‘Did You Know?’ snippets
from last year’s H5 Trashes, I did some research and came across this little gem
from a 1967 handbook by the Consumers Association called What To Do When
Someone Dies. It opens with: ‘You may discover someone apparently dead, and it
can be difficult to tell whether he is really dead or not.’ A bit later comes this useful
advice: ‘If there is any doubt whether someone is dead, treat him as being alive.’

OK, great advice! Arrived at the RYCT, I made my way through the crowd (50 from
H4 and 36 from H5) while remembering to greet all H4 blokes, however comatose
they appeared, as being, in FACT, alive. I didn’t always get a response that proved
the truth of this assumption but, nevertheless, I persevered.
MOP was the only H5 Hash Cash in attendance, floundering with a faulty square
thingy, so Grizzly had stepped in to help with his fully functioning square thingy.
Communication about payments was as reliable as stadium cost reports, with
Grizzly claiming to have ‘overlooked’ telling Hash Cash that Cracker had paid.

Then came the chalk talk from Filthy Phil – out the door, turn right for a walk of 4.5
kms or a run of 7.5 kms. There were dark mutterings from some of the H4 geriatrics
of, ‘I’m not doin’ that’. At least they got out the door, unlike Next Week, who stayed
in the pub because he’d stuffed his knee last week chasing Her Highness Eager.
MOP also stayed in the pub; I suspect she needed a drink or two after her square
thingy stress.

So, out the door, trail turned right into Marieville Esplanade. Ratu Steady Eddie was
powering along, looking rather sprightly in comparison to the H4 geriatrics, until we
came to the steep uphill of Colville Street, where he found an alternative route. This
hill also convinced Lone Arranger that she had better things to do. In comparison,
ITR claimed to have been FRB for a good part of the trail (although, given his
penchant for hashing the guts out of any trail, this claim must be treated with
suspicion), until he was effortlessly overtaken by La La. Top Dek went down on trail
and managed to cancel the emergency signal from her watch just in time to prevent
the ambulance’s arrival.

Spoof had proclaimed to all who were interested, and to those who weren’t, that the
trail would be same old/same old. But to be fair, the first part was quite good – a
picturesque route through some of the interesting streets of Battery Point, along the
waterfront at Castray Esplanade, back via Hampden Road and St Georges Terrace
to Sandy Bay Road. This is where it reverted to H4 form and followed Sandy Bay
Road … and followed Sandy Bay Road … and followed Sandy Bay Road. It was so
boring that I resorted to running, just to get it over with more quickly, although
Arsecutter rudely claimed that the last time I had run was after an Indian curry. No
FTs or checks, so a standard H4 trail.

Back at the On On, H4 provided a good feed and a good selection of beers. The Lip
session was possibly the shortest in Hash history. Can’t Stop, H5’s only Lip in
attendance, did his valiant best but was disadvantaged by the fact that his
microphone had (possibly) been sabotaged. Most of H4 were mute, not only during
the singing of H5’s array of songs, but even when their own one-and-only song was
sung.

Most surprising was the sudden departure of H4. I’ve lifted a description of this
straight from ITR’s 2024 report: ‘then, as if a silent recall alarm had gone off in their
pacemakers, H4, to a man, shuffled and wheezed off out the door and were gone.
Back to the nursing home, I suspect. No announcement, no next week’s run, no club
song, nothing’. Remember what I said about these run reports being
interchangeable?
Ah well, to quote Oscar Wilde: ‘Some cause happiness wherever they go, others,
whenever they go’.
On a serious note, money collected was, for the fourth year, donated to
gynaecological cancer research. A cheque for $2,500 was presented to Dr Alison
Black of ANZGOG, the peak national gynaecological cancer research organisation in
Australia and New Zealand. Gynaecological cancer is complex, including uterine,
ovarian, cervical, vulval and vaginal cancers. There were around 7,000 new cases
diagnosed in Australia in 2025, and around 2,300 deaths. These figures represent
between 9% and 10% of all new female cancer cases and deaths in 2025. It is often
silent during its early stages, often under-recognised and diagnosed late. Better
research changes outcomes for women with gynaecological cancer, and every bit of
funding helps.
On On – Cracker

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SKOLS – Hash Lip: Can’t Stop

• The Hare(s) – H4 blokes – Hat and Filthy Phil
• Gov Honkers – Should be happy because they have removed all e-scooters in Hobart
• Fringe Dweller – after attending hash for over a year, finally has a hash name
• Lord Limp – new shoes
• Poledancer and Gut – Hawthorn was beaten by Melbourne on the weekend
• Splashback -> Dog Shit – lost property from Broken Hill Hash

Announcements

• Next Week’s run – In The Raw at The Waggon, North Hobart

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HASH FLASH

Link to all Photos for run 2398

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2026-27

Grand Master	In the Raw
Joint Masters	Clearfell Bee’s Dick
On Sec	Brazilian
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis MOP
Hash Lips	Shit Creek Can’t Stop
Hash Hops	Arsecutter Lone Arranger
Trailmaster	Next Week
Hash Flash	Triple K
Hash Horn	Bad News
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com