Volume 45, Issue 7 | May 25, 2026

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On	Run Reporter
2395	15 June	Incoming & Steady Eddie Traditional Hat Run	Waterfront Hotel	TopDek
2396	22 June	Lone Arranger	Civic Club	Cracker
2397	29 June	Brazilian & Clearfell	HoneyBee Cafe	Mr Bean
2398	6 July	Combined Clubs Charity Run	RYCT

** Run Reporters – if you are unable to attend, please organise to swap with another hasher **

UP AND CUMMING

• 6 July 2026 | Combined Clubs Charity Run @ RYCT
• 30 April – 2 May 2027 | Aussie Nash Hash 2027 | Adelaide

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RUN 2392 REPORT

It was the first day of winter, but you would hardly know it…

… if you were in Cairns. In Berriedale however, winter came up and bitch-slapped you with a frozen side of goat. With it being so cold, it seemed apt that Just Kidding declared it to be a ‘Big Freeze beanie’ night to support the Fight MND cause championed by the late Neale Daniher. Regrettably, Coles and Bunnings didn’t get the memo and had sold out of adult-sized beanies, meaning that only Highness Eager could get away with wearing one that didn’t look like you were wearing a cock warmer.

You have another chance to support the Fight MND cause at Hash, by attending the Combined Clubs Charity Run in November.
Remember – it’s for the charity, with ALL proceeds going to Fight MND!

With the traditional game of ‘on which side of the Granada do you park’ over – the answer to which is always ‘the wrong side’ – we gathered in the Sports Bar and deliberated over which seniors’ meal to order. Shit Creek noted that ‘shrinkflation’ had not only reduced the seniors’ steak from 200g to 150g, but also the size of the font on the menu as it took him several attempts to find it.

Time must move differently in the far northern suburbs, as evidenced by Bee’s Dick’s uncustomary appearance before the Hash Cashiers had closed their books. This trail also flushed out a few REAL ‘country members’ (not just those who missed a week, FFS). Like Big Ben or the Ol’ Faithful geyser, you can always count on Johnny Fuckacarcass to appear to remind In The Raw that vertical stripes are slimming, particularly if they are in the colours of excrement.

Everyone was keen to head outside to hear what the Hare had to say about the trail, in much the same way that I am keen to hear from the doctor that I need a colonoscopy. It was so cold that Prawn Star was starting to lose feeling in his extremities, but then f*cking a block of ice on the asphalt will do that.

The Hares did a good job of keeping most of the Pack together for the first part of the trail, with runners turned back by well-placed FTs. (I say ‘most’, because Wrectum led the ‘walking dead’ part of H5 up a previously-called FT, despite repeated, helpful suggestions like ‘that’s a false trail, you cloth-eared git’.) Having to make his way back throught the walkers more than once, Dishlicker found himself under fire with calls of ‘lay off the doughnuts, ya fat bastard’ directed his way. This was particularly rich as the barbs were hurled by a man who still has a place in the Doughnut Munchers Hall of Fame – In The Raw.

At each of those early FTs, Sir Eve found himself placed to find real trail and lead the Pack on. The level of smugness soon approached Elon Musk levels, but would come undone once the runners had done what runners do (whatever it is that they do – I’m not one to judge) and it was Eve who had to find the FT.

There was an unwanted amount of uphill; certainly unwanted by me as one of only three walkers to follow trail up Apollo Road. The remainder Hashed the guts out of it, despite loud calls of ‘On! On!’ to convince others that such misery should be shared.

After that it was a lonely trek back ‘home’, my revery broken only by Eve’s ever-dimishing calls, then by the assassins’ footfalls of Sugar Babe, Dishlicker and Bee’s Dick as they silently sped by within a sniff of the ‘bucket’. Even Ted Bullpit was quiet, which I know is hard to believe.

It was a good trail, especially the first half with the Pack still largely together, in a dysfunctional sort of way.

The meals came out with the expected amount of wandering around for ten minutes while calling out ‘who ordered the parmi?’. Note to Hares: if the bar staff tell you that they don’t need names when orders are taken, let them know that half the Hashers won’t remember what they ordered after five minutes, let alone an hour, and that the other half are functionally deaf. While Honkers gave his Guv’norial seal of approval to the seniors’ roast of the day, those who ordered the steak are still lamenting the 50 grams of prime wagu they were never going to get.

On! On! Grizzly

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SKOLS – Hash Lip Shit Creek

• The Hare(s) – Just Kidding, with assistance from Highness Eager
• C*ntry Members – MOP, Topdek, Incoming, Snack Bar, Organ Grinder, Sugar Babe, Prawn Star, Fish Fingers, Eveready, Offal, Wrectum, Johnny Fuckacarcass, Rotten, Dishlicker, Arscutter, Grassroots, Just Kidding.
• Just Kidding – shit parking.
• Lone Arranger – after last week’s tee shirt sizing mauling of Rigor Mortis by Grizzly, LA continued the ‘wife swap’ by feeling up the Lip while he was waiting to order his meal.
• In The Raw – having lost a footy bet, had to wear the ‘poos and wees’ jersey of shame.
• Johnny Fuckacarcass – still hasn’t coughed up the six-pack for losing the bet from two years ago. (Claimed that all was “now square”)
• Dishlicker – was sitting in the lounge bar at the other end of the Granada, wondering where all the Hashers were.
• Dishlicker – always used to be a front runner, has obviously eaten too many doughnuts since those days and was now running at the back.
• In The Raw – trying to drag a couple of ‘old boilers’* into the bush, but they fought him off. (*Coupla Weeks and Triple K)
• Fish Fingers – Hashy birthday f*ck you.

Skols from the floor

• Sir Eve – lead the Pack after runners fell foul of three FTs, not so smug once the runners had f*cked off and he had to do the FT.
• Pole Dancer – no f*cking idea.
• Bee’s Dick – on time this week. (Is this just an excuse to give him a skol each week?)

Announcements

• Posh Hash – will be the second Friday in June (12th) due to the Chardonnay Highland Fling.
• Next Week’s run – Crescent Hotel, North Hobart

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From Mr Bean (sent 31 May):
Littlest Hasher Story Stary (Astoria) broke her femur while on a run and is in recovery post surgery.

We hope that she heals quickly and is back on her feet, soon.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for 2393

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2026-27

Grand Master	In the Raw
Joint Masters	Clearfell Bee’s Dick
On Sec	Brazilian
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis MOP
Hash Lips	Shit Creek Can’t Stop
Hash Hops	Arsecutter Lone Arranger
Trailmaster	Next Week
Hash Flash	Triple K
Hash Horn	Bad News
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com