Volume 45, Issue 4 | May 11, 2026

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On	Run Reporter
2392	25 May	Jim Beam/Didn’t Do It	Midway Tavern	Prawn Star
2393	1 June	Just Kidding	Granada Tavern	Organ Grinder
2394	8 June	Eveready	Crescent Hotel	Rigor Mortis
2395	15 June	Incoming/ Steady Eddie	Waterfront Hotel	TopDek

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UP AND CUMMING

• 6 July 2026 | Combined Clubs Charity Run @ RYCT
• 30 April – 2 May 2027 | Aussie Nash Hash 2027 | Adelaide

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RUN 2390 REPORT

H5 run No. 2390
Claremont Hotel (The Mont)
Hares – Eager (Shorty) and Just Kidding (Dipsy)
The “Mont,” set deep in the dark, forbidding far north of the flannelette curtain. The
hares, Shorty and Dipsy. What could possibly go wrong????
Well, nothing really. Despite the chilly evening, the Mont was warm and welcoming.
A no nonsense bar maid dispensed drinks with efficiency and humour. The Hash
Cash duo was pleasant and affable (something was clearly wrong with Rigamortis).
The short hare, (should we call her “Bristle”!!!!!) was even pleasant to me and
pinched my bum. Well, that’s what she tried to do but ended up pinching the back of
my knee.

At 6.30, Shorty screeched something in a high pitch squeak and the pack went
outside for the chalk talk. There was a run and walk and it went that way.
The pack trundled off towards Mood Food on Main Road and then turned and
zigzagged through the lower reaches of Chigwell. FTs and Poleys incompetence
kept the pack together for the Chiggers leg of the trail. Poley has the propensity to
call trail on anything that is white including, but not limited to, markings left by
council/Telstra/taswater/seagulls/ toilet paper/trash/tampons etc. A Master Check on
Maralinga Drive almost kept the pack together but the usual suspects, KKK et al,
could not help themselves and snuck off. Surprisingly, the Grand Master of Master
Check Creepers, Sir Eve, stayed put until the bulk of the pack arrived. The Old boy
has certainly mellowed.

Exiting Chiggers, the trail followed the bike track north to the Claremont CBD. It then
headed west into the wilds of upper Claremont. Now, I could bullshit and say the trail
went this way and that way and up that hill and down that dale, but I won’t. That is
because I have no frigging idea of where it went. You see, because I am so clever
and so adept at trail forecasting, I tried to short cut (To assist the Hash Flash in
getting “action photos”) to get to the front of the pack.
The only problem was that my trail prediction antenna had a short circuit and I went
in the completely opposite direction. I spent the rest of trail time wandering around
the Cadbury Estate, alone, cold and hoping no one would find out where I had been.
Realising that I had made a major F.ck up, I made my way back to the Mont. There I
found that I was the last one in. Everyone else was having a big old time.

The Mont had a promotion on. Buy a St George beers and you got a scratch card
that could win you a bucket hat or stubby cooler. Hashers on my table brought
dozens of beers and won FA. Sir Eve, bless his tight wad arse (wallet wise, not that
other way….) brought one beer and won a frigging bucket hat. I swear on my still
living mother’s grave that I will steal that hat!!!!

Shit Creek ran an entertaining circle. He is certainly confident and capable and has
a command of English that far surpasses that of that other, thankfully absent lip (
C*nt Stop, AKA “Grand Master Shithead”).
Good job Shorty and Dipsy. The trail was well marked and easy to follow, well the bit
I did was anyway.
On On
ITR.

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SKOLS – Shyte Creek

• The Hare(s) – Eager and Just Kidding – not enough hills and too many Master Checks
• C*ntry Members – Slippery Nipple, MOP, Sticky Micky, Jan
• Just Kidding – senior moment. Set NDIS trail then went to set the walker’s trail and wondered where the trail markings had come from

• Sonar – tried to run Just Kidding over in the car park
• Eager – turned a few heads when she shouted out “Spoof is back” in a pub full of people
• Eve – bought only one 3.5% beer and won a bucket hat with the scratchie
• Sonar – public nuisance on trail – bearing his arse at people in a playground
• Sonar – birthday

• Organ Grinder – 100 runs milestone
• In The Raw – not using enough cream when presenting milestones
• Sh#t Creek – went to the wrong pub instead of the Claremont Hotel
• Eveready – lost property (torch)

• Announcements
  • Next Week’s Run – Derwent Sailing Squadron
  • Chardonnay’s Highland Fling – is on 6-7 June at Maydena. Contact Slippery Nipple if you’re interested in coming

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HASH FLASH

Link to photos for Run 2390

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2026-27

Grand Master	In the Raw
Joint Masters	Clearfell Bee’s Dick
On Sec	Brazilian
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis MOP
Hash Lips	Shit Creek Can’t Stop
Hash Hops	Arsecutter Lone Arranger
Trailmaster	Next Week
Hash Flash	Triple K
Hash Horn	Bad News
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com