Volume 43, Issue 26 | October 14, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2308	28 October	Cracker	Dru Point, Margate, Hallowen run
2309	4 November	H4	Joint charity run, Royal Yacht Club
2310	11 November	Hare required
2311	18 November	Hare required
2312	25 November	Hare required
2313	2 December	Cracker	Coningham Beach

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UP AND CUMMING

19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Bicheno
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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Hi all, a final word from the JMs on this weekend, the Oktoberfest.

Accommodation: Use your Hash names when booking in. The management of the caravan park has been given a list of which Hasher is staying in what cabin. This is a simple concept. Dont f… it up.

BYO wine at Sealife Restaurant: Sealife Restaurant is allowing the Hash club a limited amount of  BYO wine.  If you want to bring a bottle of your favourite, please make sure you give it to either of the JMs prior to 5.00 p.m. on Saturday.  We have to deliver it in bulk to the restaurant.  The club will pay for corkage.

Rain: It will rain, bring a rain coat.

That’s it. Look forward to seeing youse all – the JMs

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RUN 2303 REPORT

The first BBQ run of the season – and bloody hell it was cold at Cornelian Bay, with the gale force winds that are here fondly known as sea breezes blowing off the Derwent. With no Next Week or Firemaster-5,000 in sight, Hashers huddled behind scant shelters waiting for the run to start. Entrance and Her Highness Eager, forever optimistic, were heard to state that the sea breeze was sure to drop any minute. I asked Ratu Steady Eddie if he would stand behind me as a wind break, but he replied that he wasn’t big enough; apparently, this was meant as a double entendre, but it went right over my head.

Finally, Hare Gingernuts issued her instructions – go that way and enjoy the scenery, waving her arm and pointing to the left. Runners and walkers duly set off left, only to run around in ever decreasing circles until it became obvious that the Hare’s left meant right.

So, about-turn to follow the riverside track in the opposite direction. Within a couple of hundred meters, Hashers were once again milling around like ants from a disturbed nest on being confronted with MC and FT signs. This must have been Gingernut’s final test to measure the intelligence of a group of Hashers, as trail was easy to follow from here on. (A note on Gingernut’s test: the intelligence of a group of Hashers cannot be measured because, as someone once observed, the difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.)

Trail continued behind the historic Cornelian Bay boatsheds and around the perimeter of the Botanical Gardens and Government House, then further south along the edge of the Domain. Just as Growler was reminiscing about a trail some years ago which took in a full circuit of the Domain and went for 9kms, Gingernuts fortunately turned toward home via the Lower Domain Rd. ITR managed to lurk through the bushes to capture some rare runners’ photos.

Rigor Mortis had brought along a Hash virgin, Gabriel, and then foolishly left Her Highness Eager to indoctrinate him in the ways of Hash. What on earth was Rigor thinking? Her Highness enlisted Magic Touch to help explain the finer points of bullshite. Scary!

Toward the end of trail, we had to negotiate a crossing of the Domain Highway to get back to the On On. Her Highness Eager and Magic Touch ‘helped’ Cracker over the road, only to be chastised by Thrill Seeker for endangering the life of a living legend. Love it – it’s about time my lofty position was recognised.

Total distance for walkers was about 5.5kms. There were a couple of runners’ splits; don’t know where they went, but who cares? Elevation gain was about 145m, so another run to keep the Flat Earthers happy. It was certainly a scenic trail, with nice views of the river and blue-lit bridge. Gingernuts stated that she thought Hashers would like a flat, scenic trail; they did, and well done Gingernuts!

By the time we got back to the On On, the sea breeze had dropped so our food wasn’t blown off the BBQs, although it was still cold. Sure coulda done with that Firemaster-5,000 as we shivered through the Lip session, to the background of Bee’s Dick’s grumbling about where was the other fark-in Lip?

On! On! – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Gingernuts: hare
• Gingernuts: confused run instructions; had Hashers running left, right, and in circles at the start of trail because she doesn’t know left from right
• ITR: scaring the shite out of runners by jumping out of bushes to take photos
• Pole Dancer: over-dressed in his jumper and hat (the first time the Lip had seen him wear either)
• Rigor Mortis: brought along a Virgin and then shunted him off to Eager to teach him the finer points of Hash
• Ratu Steady Eddie: said he struggled to get through the fences on trail. What fark-in fences?
• Rigor Mortis: reduced Offal to crying in a corner when she said she hated offal on the bbq
• Magic Touch: was gifted a punnet of sausages, now has one for every day of the week
• Spoof: new shoes
• Entrance, Offal, Rectum, MOP, Fringe Benefits: c#ntry members
• Gabriel: Hash virgin
• Bee’s Dick: presented FRB shirt to Organ Grinder
• DNR: thanks for bringing yummy soup and salads
• ITR (from Rigor Mortis) claimed ITR wanted her to feel something hard

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2303

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/