Volume 43, Issue 23 | September 23, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2302	7 October	Sir Eve	Beltana Hotel

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UP AND CUMMING

19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Bicheno
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2300 REPORT

Excerpts from Bruce Dawe’s poem, Life Cycle:

When children are born in Victoria
they are wrapped in club-colours, laid in beribboned cots,
having already begun a lifetime’s barracking.

Carn, they cry, Carn … feebly at first
while parents playfully tussle with them
for possession of a rusk: Ah, he’s a little Tiger! (And they are ) …..

Hot pies and potato-crisps they will eat,
they will forswear the Demons, cling to the Saints
and behold their team going up the ladder into Heaven,

And the tides of life will be the tides of the home-team’s fortunes
– the reckless proposal after the one-point win,
the wedding and honeymoon after the grand final …..

But the dance forever the same – the elderly still
loyally crying Carn … Carn … (if feebly) unto the very end,
having seen in the six-foot recruit from Eaglehawk their hope of salvation …..

I’ve never really understood the religion of football. Carn the Wombats! But at least one H5 Hare, at this time of each year, will feel the call to offer a footy theme run, where fans and fake fans (it’s easy to identify the fake fans because they don’t know who wears their Club’s Number 1 guernsey) gather, all decked out in their Club’s colours. And so it was for Next Week’s Run 2300 from the Moonah Hotel.

There were 32 Hashers, most resplendent in footy colours. Geelong supporters were crying into their pre-trail beers, Sydney Swan supporters were crowing, and Growler was looking for a wooden spoon. It must be said that Next Week’s commitment to his own run’s theme was a bit suspect, as his trail setting included a quick visit to an Op Shop to buy whatever they had, which happened to be a Hawks shirt.

There seemed to be more than 32 Hashers in a small space; although Grizzly rudely claimed that my low view of the world created an optical illusion. Included in the number was visitor/country member Dingo, from Brisbane’s Halfway Hash, who ran with H5 some 40 years ago and claims the dubious honour of naming Spoof.

Next Week’s run instructions were brief – head to the Subway across the road and follow trail. This prompted a comment from would-be-King-of-Sleaze Steady Eddie about the length of Subs, or something. He really should stick to dad jokes!

The trail started along Hopkins St and then meandered through mostly quiet back streets, lined with weatherboard houses which all look more or less the same. A point of interest along Homer Ave, for both WWW and Bad News, was the Caledonian Society Hall – och aye, a wee surprise in the wastelands of Moonah suburbia, far behind the Flannelette Curtain.

Trail turned up Windsor St until intersecting the railway bike track. Then a long, straight return along the railway bike track. And along the railway bike track. And along the railway bike track. No diversion, deflection, deviation, or digression – fine proof of Next Week’s one-track mind. Finally, we turned into Hopkins St and On Home. Of interest along the afore-mentioned railway bike track, for ITR, were some power station relics, prompting a lecture on power stations in general and Pelton wheels in particular, until Gingernuts kindly asked if I needed to be rescued.

The walkers’ trail was just under 5 kms with a total ascent of only 73m, making the Flat Earthers very happy once again. Back at the Moonah Hotel, we enjoyed good meals and a great selection of beers on tap. Bee’s Dick did an appropriate amount of stirring as the sole Lip, assisted by a few sneaky skols from the floor.

On! On! – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Next Week: hare
• Growler: wooden spoon for Richmond
• Cracker: pirouetted to go down gracefully on trail
• Can’t Stop: lost his marathon runner crown to Izzie (Dishlicker’s daughter)
• Pole Dancer: had his own questionable goal for the end of trail
• Next Week (from ITR): wearing a Hawks shirt, all he could find at the last minute in the Ops Shop; it still had its tab attached
• Dingo and Murray the Rat: visitors/country members
• Izzie (Dishlickers’ daughter): wanted to thank H5 for fund-raising help
• Lone Arranger (from Dingo): stated that she would be suffering in bed tonight
• Just Kidding (from Next Week): a blonde moment about whether she should put her bags in the car if Next Week were staying at the pub
• Next Week (from Just Kidding): driving the wrong way into the car park.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2300

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OKTOBERFEST UPDATE

Greetings Minions. It’s the JMs.

Thanks to all who have registered.  The JMs are organizing what will most likely be the best Oktoberfest ever.

For those who have indicated that they are camping or staying in motorhomes/campers, please contact the venue, Bicheno East Coast Holiday Park and book your prefered option.  Ph 63751999 or email  info@bichenoholidaypark.com.au.

For those staying in the cabins, rest assured that the JMs have been working diligently to ensure that you end up sharing with someone agreeable. Either that or someone  who will keep the bed warm and you won’t feel guilty next morning.

On a different subject, has anyone got a portable gas heater that they are willing to bring or lend to the  good looking JM, ITR.  This is for heating at the On On and/or clothing optional run as the venue won’t let us use the Firemaster 5000.

With love and looking forward to Sir Eve’s brews,

The JMs.

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/