Volume 43, Issue 18 | August 19, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2296	2 September	Thrillseeker	TBA
2297	9 September	Contessa Coupla Weeks	Taroona Bowls Club
2298	16 September	Eager	Mornington Inn
2299	23 September	Next Week	Moonah Hotel, Footy theme

Lord Limp provided the Receding Hareline on a Banjo’s napkin, written with a thumb nail dipped in tar, so the Editor takes no responsibility for its veracity. Ed

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UP AND CUMMING

19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Bicheno
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2295 REPORT

When I think of Brighton, I think of that place that was originally recorded as Bristelmestune in the Domesday Book. That seaside resort 76kms south of London. That haunt of King George IV. That place that the Germans were not supposed to bomb in WW2 because Hitler wanted the Royal Pavilion as his seaside home. That place that opened Britain’s first nudie beach in 1979. That centre of hedonism: ‘the happiest place to live in the UK’.

Tassie’s Brighton, first established as a military post, is found way behind the Flannelette Curtain. Can’t see any sea here, and certainly no sign of hedonism. So why was it named after that English seaside resort? Apparently, Governor Macquarie decided that it should be so named ‘in honour of our present gracious Sovereign’s favourite place of residence’. Not even Hash naming gets as bizarre as this!

So, a smallish group of 23 gathered for Run 2295 at the Brighton Hotel, which bears no resemblance to the Royal Pavilion in seaside Brighton. It was great to see Stunned Mullet, returned from his Kokoda adventures, and Blah Blah Blah, gently spruiking the new Hump Day Hash House Harriers and Harriettes (LH5) chapter in Lonnie. If you’re in Lonnie on a Wednesday night, this is the place to be.

Hare Rigor Mortis issued a set of instructions that were almost as incomprehensible as a reading of the Domesday Book: don’t turn left because you’ll come across the runners’ return trail; turn right; and maybe turn right again; choose whichever of the three runners/walkers splits that you like, depending on how far you want to run/walk. Proving that this was all way beyond the retention span of Hashers, Grizzly and Just Kidding got lost before they even left the pub, turning into the gaming area instead of the exit.

Trail started along the major byways of Brighton. One of the Burger Boys managed to carry the horn but didn’t quite manage the next step of blowing it. Not too many streetlights in the back blocks; it was dark as pitch and even the Blue Moon didn’t provide much illumination. ITR and Cracker, proving the short attention span of Hashers, made the tactical error of taking the first walkers’ split, and in just 30 minutes arrived at a cute little park, inhabited by the local drug dealers, within a stone’s throw of the pub. Whoops! Shoulda/woulda/coulda taken the second split! Grizzly reported that the next section of trail was well worth following, with lots of obscure little lanes to add interest and some long FTs to more or less keep the group together. Well done to Rigor Mortis for venturing into new territory and setting a trail that kept Hashers guessing.

Having cut the guts out of the trail, ITR decided to make amends by lurking around the nicely decorated loos in the park to take outdoor photos of Hashers (this being beyond the ability of our Hash Flash Pole Dancer, who is always too busy engaged in a pissing competition trying to outrun Bee’s Dick). After a long wait, Prawn Star and Organ Grinder finally appeared across the paddock and were subjected to a photo shoot almost worthy of returning Olympic heroes. With nobody else in sight, we adjourned to the pub where Bee’s Dick and Pole Dancer were claiming bragging rights as first back, only to be sent out again by Rigor Mortis because they had missed the final loop. Meanwhile, ITR set out again to lurk near the drug dealer park and take more photos.

At the pub, Rigor Mortis was engaged in a game of Q and A – ‘Did you do Split 1, Split 2 or Split 3?’ The most common answer seemed to be, ‘No idea – I just followed others.’ The short attention span of Hashers is definitely a force to be reckoned with. The pub’s meals reflected Flannelette Curtain Brighton rather than seaside resort Brighton. Next Week heard from a reliable source that the cook was recruited from the ranks of drug dealers, the one and only selection criterion being that they had no previous cooking experience. Even the most non-hedonistic taste buds were not tempted but, fortunately, the Burger Boys were there to gobble up whatever leftovers were placed before them.

On! On! – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Rigor Mortis: hare
• Rigor Mortis: looking for a bit of length
• Stunned Mullet, Blah Blah, Blah, Cracker: c#ntry members
• Grizzly and Just Kidding: lost trail before leaving the pub
• Just Kidding: couldn’t find a hole to put her phone away
• Burger Boys: arrived late, came in the back door
• Burger Boys (from Thrill Seeker): called trail on bird sh#t and all sorts of other sh#t instead of chalk
• Blah Blah Blah: asked Bee’s Dick whether his chicken was pulled enough for him
• Bad News (from Sir Eve): couldn’t open the child proof gate in the park; and a youngster in the park asked his advice on how to get a girlfriend

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2295

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG NEW!
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/