Volume 43, Issue 13 | July 15, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2292	29 July	Eager	Club Hotel
2293	5 August	ITR	TBA
2294	12 August	Bad News	New Sydney
2295	19 August	Rigor Mortis	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Bicheno
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2290 REPORT

Have you ever wondered about Working Men’s Clubs? They originated in England in the early 19^th Century, with the aim that working class men should spend their leisure time in ordered, disciplined and improving educational ways. Seems like a worthy aim, and I can think of some Hashing class men who could also benefit. In 1864, the very first Australian Working Men’s Club was established in Hobart. The founders encouraged members to attend lectures, classes and the library. Drinking, gambling and swearing (and, it goes without saying, women) were prohibited. Low membership was a problem; working class men (like the before mentioned Hashing class men) preferred the pubs, where they could get a drink, to self-improvement. Sometime in the 20^th Century, both drinking and gambling were allowed in the club and membership increased. More recently, the name was changed to Hobart Workers Club, opening it up to the other 50% of workers. This year, the club moved from its Liverpool home of 150 years to its current premises in Elizabeth St.

This was a new H5 venue, following a couple of days of solid rain. Magic Touch had gone online earlier in the day to ask whether, given the weather, the run was still on. FFS, Magic Touch, you’ve been in Hash now for long enough to know two things: first, that the run goes ahead regardless of anything and everything and second, that it never rains on a Hash trail (just ask Hash Elder Grizzly). Of course, a raincoat is nevertheless advisable at times.

Hares Grassroots and Arsecutter came up with an innovative approach to setting trail through dark, dank, sodden streets: an envelope run. They handed out, to the chosen few in both runners’ and walkers’ groups, a series of envelopes, each containing the next destination. As each place was reached, the holder of the next envelope took over as leader of the troops. What a great idea; not only was there no trail to wash away, but it also kept the troops more or less together. Except for Jerk Off and Lone Arranger who, led into bad habits by Grassroots, shortcut the guts out of the trail.

Bad News, as holder of the first envelope, led us to the corner of Liverpool and Barrack Streets. Along the way, the biggest kids on the block, ITR And Grizzly, engaged in a competition to see which fat bastard could push the other fat bastard out of their way. Ambling along and trying to avoid being squashed by the fat bastards were Can’t Stop and Prawn Star, the latter complaining about a sore right (or maybe left) testicle and fretting about where the pain might spread to. If I were a betting person, I’d say to the brain was most likely.

ITR was holder of the second envelope. Now, it must be said that all other envelope holders managed to follow the Hares’ instructions and read out the next destination. But ITR, drunk on the power of that tiny piece of paper, refused to say where we were headed, calling only, ‘Follow me!’ Yeah, sure! Most disgruntled was Rigor Mortis, who was itching to run ahead and muttering some unsavoury comments about being forced to slow down to group speed. Several impromptu renditions along trail of ITR’s Hash song was an indication of his success in pissing off most people. On a brighter note, the Hobart Rivulet in flood along this segment was impressive.

Holder of the next envelope was Pricket, who led us from St David’s Park to the Prince of Wales. Somehow, Azaria managed to get lost at this point and had his very own Piss Stop in the Prince of Wales.

Growler’s clue then led the group to to the Salamanca Arts Centre, where runners and walkers magically converged. Even Magic Touch was unable to get lost with this new approach to trail setting, and proclaimed herself a new woman.

Honkers was in charge of the next envelope, which led to the Drunken Admiral. Holder of the last envelope was Lone Arranger, who led us to the Town Hall car park and a Piss Stop (the first since winter runs commenced). Grassroots skipped the Piss Stop, leading Bad News to wonder whether she had Signed the Pledge? In fact, so taken was he with this idea, that he thought it would make a great leading headline for the Hash Trash. A heavy drizzle set in at about this time, prompting Grizzly to run away, nice and dry under the umbrella he stole from Lone Arranger.

The walkers’ trail measured 4.58kms, with a tiny elevation gain of 100m. Back at the Hobart Workers Club, we ate our meals surrounded by wall-to-wall racing and Keno screens. We adjourned to the covered-but-chilly balcony for the On On, which Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick conducted with the expected amount of offensiveness and irreverence. I wonder what those pious, do-gooding, middle class, male early founders of the club, intent on improving the education and moral fibre of working class men, would have thought about all this?

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Grassroots and Arsecutter: Hares
• Grizzly: at the first sign of drizzle on trail, stole LA’s umbrella and ran away
• Grizzly: Booking interstate flights, didn’t read the fine print and booked departure 9.30 pm instead of 9.30 am
• Gingernuts, Azaria, French Tickler, Growler, Dishlicker: c#ntry members
• Magic Touch: stealing pies
• Ratu Steady Eddie: wasn’t game to wear his make America great again shirt
• ITR: mouthing off at the Lips re ‘When’s the Lips session?’, but only when it suits him
• Pole Dancer: one f###n’ job … forgot to take Hash photos until after 8.00pm
• Jerk Off: a couple of jokes, up to his usual standard (and should have been a c#ntry member also)
• Magic Touch: posted a question on Facebook: given the weather, was the run still on?
• Azaria: had his own Piss Stop at the Prince of Wales
• Magic Touch (from Growler): re-presentation of the Shithead of the Year Award, with her name now engraved
• Prawn Star (from LA): running around with only one nut
• Cracker (from ITR): falsely accused of being addicted to the power of the keyboard and not letting others write run reports (sure, they’re breaking down doors to do so!)
• ITR (from Grizzly): secret squirrel stuff on trail: refused to share the second destination, then took a wrong turn to the following stop and was seen running to stay ahead of Rigor Mortis

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2290

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG NEW!
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/