Volume 42, Issue 51 | April 8, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2278	22 April	The JMs – AGPU	See flyer
2279	29 April	Hare required
2280	6 May	Hare required
2281	13 May	Hare required

UP AND CUMMING

24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of Gynaecological Cancer Research
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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Much ado about f*ck-all

Daylight Savings had finished their shift and was packing up the half-eaten sandwich and assorted plastic containers from lunch. (It was a late lunch, sometime around mid-January.) ‘The other one’ was now on duty having arrived a week late, apologising for having slept in and mumbling something about a late crucifixion.

To be honest, Daylight Savings would have been happy to hang around a bit longer as they quite enjoyed the weather of late, but it was getting more difficult to keep their eyes open around the 7:30pm mark.

Daylight Savings busied themself by writing a nice note to stick on the kitchen fridge door, reminding ‘the other one’ about clearing their mouldy food out at the end of shift. Daylight Savings thought that the note was nice, but conceded that it could be construed as passive-aggressive.

It wasn’t. It was straight-out aggressive. Clean the f*cking fridge out you fat, lazy c*nt.

Daylight Savings glanced over at the main control desk and noted that the Hobart Hash Hash Harriers and Harriettes were assembling at the Hub on Queens Domain. This was passing strange, as normally they head into the nearest pub the moment Daylight Savings finished their shift. Did the Hashers not know how many roots they might stumble over in that area at night? Surely that strange guy who never carries a torch would would be found on his knees at some stage.

A flame was produced and the HHHHHers* gathered around, oohing and aahing at the fire maker. Perhaps this was some form of worship, trying to drive back ‘the other one’ with light and heat.

* HHHHHers is what Daylight Savings calls them as it’s shorter than the full name, although they get the feeling that they could come up with something a bit snappier if they put their mind to it.

The group looked different – smaller, younger. Some of the more identifiable ones were there – the loud one that had been there well before Daylight Savings started working, the two short ones, the one that says ‘wot’ – but with them were others that Daylight Savings had not seen before.

Missing was Daylight Savings’ favourite – the big one that always had such good things to say about Daylight Savings’ work and had once written so eloquently about their good friend, La Niña.

Daylight Savings scanned the control desk. They found the geriatric one that seems to list to starboard – he was tucked up in bed with a good book. That book was hiding a dog-eared copy of Playboy from a time when Bush was not just a President of the United States. Daylight Savings looked further afield and found the big guy, huddled wet and cold in a flimsy tent. He did not look like he was having fun, nor did his companions – the flame-haired one who seems to eat a lot, the wise one, the one that could crack walnuts between her thighs and the one that says ‘fook’ a lot.

Back at the HHHHHer gathering the Hashers were laughing and taking photos of themselves enjoying the warmth, then sending those photos to the big guy. Daylight Savings was enraged and considered smiting them down, before realising that the smiting button had been disabled after that unfortunate incident with curtains and cows.

Daylight Savings realised that they were going to miss the bus if they didn’t leave now so left everyone to the night shift, who was now fast asleep at the desk and mumbling about goats.

On! On! Grizzly

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SKOLS

• Next Week – Hare.
• Deep Root, Sam and Pippy – country member and sprogs.
• Crotch Thumper – visitor from another planet (aka Kentucky).
• Stunned Mullet – dunno, probably for f*cking up Grizzly’s Spotify algorithm.
• Julen – dunno, probably for appearing shirtless on Lone Arranger’s security camera.
• Reddi Nip – dunno, Hash avoidance?
• Stunned Mullet again – dunno, yoof?
• Just Kidding – something blonde, probably.

• Her Highness Eager – something height-related, probably.
• Cracker – couldn’t even contemplate what – come up short.
• Organ Grinder, Prawn Star, Reddi Nip and Stunned Mullet – do I know this one? Can’t remember.
• …and other skols I wasn’t there to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2276

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/