Volume 42, Issue 49 | March 18, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2276	8 April	Next Week	Legacy Park Community Hub, Queens Domain
2277	15 April	Hare required
2278	22 April	The JMs – AGPU	See flyer
2279	29 April	Hare required

UP AND CUMMING

28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

---

Gispert knows that I love order. My hundreds of music CDs were always arranged by artist and release date (pre-Spotify, but they’re still alphabetised in storage boxes). Disparate coffee mugs at work must be arranged into some semblance of order by size, colour and girth. Even on the Hash barbecue I will group items into a Tetris-styled grid of meatiness.

Yes, that says more about me than it does about the agents of chaos that surround me.

So it transpired that on arriving at the on-on last Monday I was heartened to see four cars neatly lined up, instead of what would normally look more like the end of a demolition derby. I eased the Volvo into position (being careful not to get too close to the Bean/Bling Mercedes lest it have some sort of offensive capabilities against inconsiderate drivers), nose out and arse against the wall to match the others. It didn’t take long for the agent of chaos that is Steady Eddie to arrive and park arse-out, and at a typically Steady jaunty angle. From there on, it was a crap shoot.

No-one getting out of their car looked around and expressed any confidence about the prospect of a leisurely trail. There was far too much ‘down’ and almost no ‘flat’. The only bright outlook came from the knowledge that Hare Can’t Stop was still breaking in his knew nee, and was unlikely to have set a ‘ball breaker’.

Unlikely, but not entirely ruled out. Smart Hashers had a torch at the ready.

Magic Touch arrived by bus (it wasn’t her bus, it was a Metro, so no parking issues) and reminisced about living nearby as a child and having to lug her laden school bag to the top of the hill. There could have been an element of ‘lick the road clean’ about the story, but we all knew what lay ahead of us and just nodded sagely.

At the appointed time, the Hare led us to the park entrance for the ‘chalk talk’. This had two purposes – one was so that the Pack could see various scribblings that were intended to mark a runners’ trail, a walkers’ trail and an NDIS trail (for Can’t Stop is ‘President for Life’ of the NDIS Hash Group and looks after his constituents). The second was to add an additional 50 metres to what would be a fairly modest trail length, for Pole Dancer doesn’t get out of bed for anything less than five kilometres.

Unremarkably, trail headed downhill; the sort of sudden drop-off you might expect at one of the more extreme water park slides. After not-too-long a journey the trail levelled out, giving hope that this might not be the elevation horror show that we had been expecting. No, Just Kidding could be heard calling out ‘trucking bunt’ (or something similar) at the end of a 200m false trail. As the last of the walkers filed back through, FRBs Bee’s Dick and Lord Limp appeared and were persuaded that the junction was a split rather than an FT. I’m pretty sure that Limp knew that they were being sold a ‘dummy pass’, but charged on regardless.

At the Allum Cliffs Track the walkers went left and the runners right, possibly to do battle with the landowner about track users using his private driveway. Can’t Stop has ‘form’.

As the NDIS group peeled off to head up Taronga Drive, the remainder headed to tackle Stairmaster 9000, an impressive set of stairs that had a hidden ‘f*ck that for a joke’ additional climb when you turned the corner. There was a lot of stopping ‘to admire the view’.

This part of the trail came out at the Shot Tower, leaving a trek up the Channel Highway to home. On the way we found Pole Dancer doing ‘a Prickit‘ because he’d already gotten out of bed and needed to justify that with an extra kilometre.

I actually enjoyed the trail, in part because I’d only recently returned from Hashing in Queenstown and had walked to the top of the chairlift, so this seemed rather moderate. Ask me how I feel about it if I were to retrace trail in another twelve months.

On! On! Grizzly

---

SKOLS

• Can’t Stop – Hare.
• Grizzly – putting his body on the line for his country in the Interhash rugby game, and losing.
• Cracker – has a scratch on her new car. A small scratch.
• Can’t Stop, Cracker, Grizzly, Gov’nor Honkers, Lone Arranger and Magic Touch – can’t remembers.
• Can’t Stop – lost his ball cage on trail.
• Bee’s Dick – 50 Run millstone!
• DNR – 125 Run millstone!
• Sir Eve – 1850 Run millstone!
• Sonar – lost property (Guinness cap).
• Contessa Coupla Weeks – another unplanned vehicular modification.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

---

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2274

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

---

Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/