Volume 42, Issue 23 | September 25, 2023

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2248 2249	7 Okt 8 Okt	OKTOBERFEST	Fox and Hounds, Port Arthur
2250	9 Oct	Hare needed!	TBA
2251	16 Oct	Gingernuts	Mt Stuart
2252	23 Oct	In The Raw	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

6-8 Oktober | H5 Oktoberfest 2023 @ Fox and Hounds Hotel, Port Arthur
25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

The winter Hashing season was hanging around like that last guest at a party, oblivious to the hosts having changed into their pyjamas, but hoping against any evidence for the good whisky to make an appearance.

As is tradition, the final run before daylight savings was dedicated to departed H5 Hasher Colin ‘Gnome‘ Oliver, and is celebrated by spreading some gnome love around to the good citizens of greater Hobart.

Gnomes of all shapes and sizes were brought in. On reflection, there really only seemed to be one shape, and that shape looked to be an unholy union of Fruit Loop and Cracker. [On Sec’s note: it would be too easy to fill this run report with references to Cracker but that would be childish of me, so this will be the last.]

Gov’nor Honkers seemed to be over compensating for something, hauling in a Cracker-sized concrete effigy, the table slightly buckling under its weight. [Okay, there was one more, but that’s the last.]

Lord Limp brought in a DIY set of gnomes, then set up a forced child labour camp to decorate them. I don’t know how much Death Adder and the later-named Copperhead were paid, but I suspect that it was well below award rates. There was an awkward moment when Death Adder started painting Crackrer’s cheeks red, but it was an honest mistake. [I think I can get away with that one on a technicality.]

It was also a football theme, with the usual parade of loser jerseys and associated paraphernalia. There was no bigger loser than Johnny Fuckacarcass, who would have been a loser anyway but was doubly so wearing the blue and white hoops, having lost a bet with In The Raw.

The already large Pack was made larger by the return of Mr Bean and Miss Bling, plus a couple of travelling Brighton H3 Hashers in Keeps It Up and Wildbush. (Brighton UK, rather than the less substantial Brighton H3 in Tasmania.) There were also some of the older H5ers, like C^ount Zero, Offal, and Wrectum, joining us in memory of their Hashing mate.

Hare Snack Bar had some fences to mend after his last trail setting effort, but he knows very little about carpentry.

The Pack was let lose on trail, gathering up their gnomes – or those of others in some sort of gnome-ish sex swap party sort of way. There was a moment of confusion when Honkers picked up Cracker by accident. You should have seen the stone-cold look Cracker gave him, although that also may have been the gnome. [Last one – I promise.]

Unsurprisingly, the most of the Pack took little time in divesting themselves of their precious cargo, leaving Roope Street looking like it had been hit by a gnome tsunami. I was impressed that Honkers had managed to carry his burden for the whole trail. (The burden of being a Carlton supporter, that is. The gnome he offloaded after a few blocks.)

A check at the bottom end of Oldham Avenue had the bulk of the Pack (Grizzly) wandering around in circles, with no sign of front wobbling walkers Fat Controller or Sir Eve to provide guidance. Expert tracker Sonar used the sonic triangulation skills for which he is famous (bing) to determine the direction of Eve‘s faint call. It may have been easier for him to look down to see the flour arrow at his feet.

I kept seeing Her Highness Eager hiding in bushes around town, before realising it was gnomes left by those ahead. [When I write Eager I really mean Cracker but a short note from the Penguin Guild indicated that I would be knee-capped if I wrote Cracker one more time. I doubt that they’d be able to reach that high, but they might give my toes an awful going over. ]

Clever trail laying and general Pack ineptitude managed to keep most together, rounding the hockey grounds, squaring up Risdon Road, before rhombussing it back to the Tavern. Was this Snacky’s trail of redemption? Maybe so – I don’t hate him any more.

I don’t hate him any less, either.

On! On!
Grizzly

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SKOLS

• Snack Bar – Hare.
• Eager, Fat Controller, Miss Bling, Mr Bean, Next Week, Offal, Wrectum and C^ount Zero – can’t remembers.
• Keeps It Up and Wildbush – visitors from Brighton H3 (UK).

• Viper, Death Adder and Indigo (now known as Copperhead) – the Gov’nor‘s family visiting from Sydney.
• Cracker – branching out into winemaking.
• Sonar – listening for Sir Eve’s call to work out which way trail went, instead of looking down at the arrow at his feet.
• Johnny Fuckacarcass – Hawthorn loser changed his stripes after losing a bet with In The Raw. Now a six-pack poorer.
• Steady Eddie – dumped Fiji, now supporting Ireland in the Rugby World Cup.
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder – queue jumpers. Last to order their meals, first to eat.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2246

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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