Volume 42, Issue 14 | July 24, 2023

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2239	7 Aug	Eve	TBA
2240	14 Aug	Grassroots	Black Buffalo Hotel, New Town
2241	21 Aug	Hare needed!	TBA
2242	28 Aug

UP AND CUMMING

2 September | Posh Hash Posh Ball @ Bellerive Yacht Club
6-8 Oktober | H5 Oktoberfest 2023 @ Fox and Hounds Hotel, Port Arthur
25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

RUN REPORT

Attempt 2:

It has been a while since the club visited the Blood Valley Inn.  Not many would remember that when we were last there, the club was banned from ever returning after Steady Eddie and Cracker picked a fight with six Satan Riders bikies and left them all in hospital.

Thankfully, the place is now under new management and that episode is now long forgotten. The pub even looked half decent, there was acceptable beer on tap and the menu interesting.  Rigor Mortis ushered everyone outdoors away from the humans and issued instructions, not that anyone listened.

The runners, numbering over a dozen, took off like scalded cats across the Mornington overpass and were not seen again till right at the end of the run.  Once the Tasman Highway had been crossed the pack descended into the posh bit of Warrane, you know, the bit that likes to call itself Lindisfarne.  This was virgin trail for me but Sir Eve recalled passing that way on his 2425^th run.

After wandering around Warranfarne for a bit it was back over the highway and a zig zag about Bligh Street and up through the Green Belt.  A steep and steady climb up Binalong Road with a few FT kept the pack together, well at least those who hadn’t hashed the guts out of the trail and headed back to the pub.

Then down the South Arm Highway back to the pub, which was true virgin territory as even Sir Eve could not recall hashing this route on any of his 4725 runs. 

As we neared the Blood Valley Inn, the runners arrived.  Quarter Pounder or Big Mac (stuffed if I know I can’t tell them apart) came streaking by with the pub in sight. Hot on his heels was Bee’s Dick – who was a bee’s dick behind – closely followed by the other one who wasn’t in front. If any of this trio had wings they would have been flying.  Talk about a brotherly pissing competition.

Back at the pub the meals were good and the beer interesting.  Snack Bar presided over a rowdy circle, much to the amusement of a couple of local young lads.

All up a good run set by Rigor Mortis with virgin territory for the third week in a row.

On On
ITR

SKOLS

• Rigor Mortis – Hare.
• Stunned Mullet – trying to teach the Premier how the rap dance (photographic evidence exists, awaiting clearance at the highest level)
• Grizzly – shagger’s back (not LA, was it Leo?)
• Bee’s Dick – above and beyond as futsal goalkeeper, most goalies use their hands, but Bee’s Dick used his balls.
• Sedan Chair – f*cking off (leaving Flat Cat here to fend for herself for a few weeks).
• Just Kidding – also f*cking off, suspicious?

Hash Lip Snack Bar thoughtfully documented the skols for the Trash, then proceeded to scrub them out as he called them up.

• Wee Bev and Robin Hood – can’t remembers.
• JMs Growler and Sonar – Oktoberfest announcement.
• Bad News – tripped Growler and Grassroots
• ITR for the Dick family, Bee’s Dick, Quarter Pounder and Big Mac – competitive running.
• Bee’s Dick – ignored multiple calls for the ‘spicy parmi’, before realising that it was his.
• Stunned Mullet – had one job to do (payback for Oktoberfest debacle); left Prawn Star’s Hash bag at home.
• Lord Limp – forgetting is contagious; left his running shoes at home and had to Hash in his work boots.
• Fringe Benefits – blatantly ghosting the Hash Cash.
• Lone Arranger – buying batteries for her rechargeable… torch.
• Random Bar Guy – having too much fun listening in on the circle.

• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

To donate to Hands On‘s fundraising effort,
use the QR code above, or click this link.

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2237

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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