Volume 44, Issue 46 | March 24, 2026

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2385	6 April	TBA	TBA
2386	13 April	TBA	TBA
2387	20 April	The JMs 2026 AGPU	The Rice Corner, Battery Point
2388	27 April	TBA	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026 | Yogyakarta, Indonesia
• 2-4 April 2027 | Aussie Nash Hash 2027 | Adelaide

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RUN 2381 REPORT

Did you know:
Seven Mile Beach is actual between 6.2 and 6.4 miles, obviously named by a male. Lewis Park is named after Clarence (TFL) ruck-rover Frank Lewis, who once booted 12 goals in a single quarter against the New Town Magpies. Lewis later went on to have a long career as an animal handler with Ashton’s Circus.

The main picnic shelter at Lewis Park started to resemble an audition for Mary Poppins, with fairy-floss Hashers sheltering under over-sized umbrellas and singing something about sugary prescription medicines.

The gloom was soon lifted, as Next Week arrived with the Firemaster 5000 and a ute-load of minor-species timber. Next Week was even prepared for the missing Sir Eve’s blow job, producing a flame thrower to encourage the fire to life.

Despite the gloomy outlook (for it had not yet reached 6:30 pm), a decent Pack soon assembled. Hare Can’t Stop gave the ‘chalk talk’, announcing that we wouldn’t get lost because he put plenty of trail down. Unsurprisingly, it took just five minutes for the Pack to wander around, about as clueless as the South Australian Liberal Party.

Bee’s Dick was left to do the checking, because he’s young and fit—when compared to Limp and Prawn Star, anyway—finding trail inland. There was another pause as the Pack encountered a strange trail mark, which hieroglyphics expert Didn’t Do It confidently interpreted as a ‘W’ and an arrow pointing back towards the on on. However, Didn’t Do It’s bold ploy to return early failed when someone not was well-versed in Cantstoppian as he found trail still heading away.

The R/W split back on the main road released the walkers’ Pack into the pine forest, with its maze of tracks always providing an enjoyable Hashing experience. Unless your name is ‘Spoof‘, in which case you stalk around grumbling ‘It always goes this way’.

Trail finished with some more hieroglyphics, as last week’s H4 trail markings were modified to look something almost but not quite like H5 trail arrows. Still, we could smell the Hops from this point and didn’t need any assistance in getting back to the on-on.

An enjoyable trail traversed in DRY conditions, despite the bleatings of In The Raw about his great coat being slightly damp.

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SKOLS – Organ Grinder

• Can’t Stop – Hare.
• Didn’t Do It, Fat Controller, Grizzly, Growler and Lone Arranger – C*untry members (plus Bee’s Dick and Prawn Star, who were just c*unts).
• Millstones:
  • Fat Controller – 75 Runs, a new record (TAUTOLOGY!) for the longest period between 74th and 75th run! *
  • Bee’s Dick – 150 Runs, a new record (TAUTOLOGY!) for the fastest to 150 runs! *
    (* Not verified records – new or otherwise – but closer to the truth than most of Cracker’s ‘facts’.)
• In The Raw – Has handed in his Doughnut-muncher badge and truncheon. Now just one of the great unwashed.
• Didn’t Do It – Brought the rain from WA with him (good for the farmers).
• Bad News and W3 – far coughing to Scotland.
• Lone Arranger – At the Bream Creek Show, boarded the bus for the A to B Hash Run, then started to worry because Grizzly wasn’t there. Sent frantic text messages (even though she knew that he didn’t have his phone with him) and was stopping the bus from leaving, before someone pointed out that he was sitting three rows directly behind her.
• Can’t Stop – Got p!ssed on St Patrick’s Day, then headed to join the H5 trivia team and proceeded to be a serial pest. Got home around 9:30 pm and wondered why Prickit didn’t have dinner on the table.

Skols from the floor

• Lord Limp – Dared to sully the GM’s official grail of office!
• Sonar – Declared ‘we need a Sonar’ when runners lost trail. He couldn’t find it either.
• Triple K – no f*cking idea. Good help is so hard to find.
• Spoof – Skulked around all trail moaning ‘I knew it would go this way’.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2383

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FUNNIES (True Stories)

Lone Arranger texted me and said “Your great”.
I replied “No, you’re great”.
She’s been happy all day. Perhaps I should correct her grammar more often.

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2025-26

Grand Master	Grizzly
Joint Masters	Contessa Coupla Weeks Wee Willie Winkie
On Sec	Sir Eve
Hash Cash	Gingernuts Grassroots
Hash Lips	Organ Grinder Stunned Mullet
Hash Hops	In The Raw
Trailmaster	Prickit
Hash Flash	Sonar
Hash Horn	Eveready
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/