Volume 44, Issue 44 | March 11, 2026

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2383	23 March	Can’t Stop	Lewis Park, Seven Mile Beach
2384	30 March	Prawn Star	241 Joseph’s Rd., Carlton (Private Property)
2385	6 April	TBA	TBA
2386	13 April	TBA	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

• 21 March | Bream Creek Show combined clubs Hash Trail
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026 | Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2381 REPORT

Did you know:
Saint Patrick’s Day, celebrated annually on March 17, it honors the patron saint of Ireland with global festivities featuring parades, wearing green, and Irish culture. Originally a religious feast day, it now celebrates Irish heritage with music, dancing, and traditional food like corned beef.

As I arrived early, there was already a fair number of hashers around and a fair amount of real humans. The nearby playpark seemed to be getting a fair bit of attention. Nice to see some familiar faces returning. There is obviously a LOT of bird life around here, given the amount of feathers in the grass.

It was a fairly mild afternoon with a warmish light breeze. We only seemed to have one hare!

Wrectum eventually took control and stood up on the nearby seat to advise us on the run. Grass Roots pointed out that Wrectum was declaring the nearby playground open for business. He then did up his fly.

Apparently Offal had forgotten about helping to set the run and was still on Bruny Island. So Wrectum had set it himself with the run being about 5.5km, the walk 3.4Km with 2 FT’s and one walkers split, that might have been a bit duck eaten.

It was down and over the new decked footpath and around the foreshore, before coming back along the cycle path to the BBQ area.

It was after we returned that we set up the BBQ, Table and eskies. We formed a large circle of chairs and prepared ourselves for the Lip Session.

On On to the Cornelian Bay Park for a St Patricks Day theme run by Highness Eager.

On! On!
Sir Eve (I’m off for 3 weeks, see you after Easter)

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SKOLS – Stunned Mullet

• Wrectum – The Lone Hare, Too many birds. Not enough hills, well set trail.
• Wrectum – Lost property, left plasterboard strip on the run
• Country Members – Just Kidding, Pole Dancer, Sonar, Ginger Nuts, Prickit, Next Week.
• Sonar – failed in his photo job on the run
• Sonar – complained of RSI in photo finger
• DNR– Birthday
• Thrillseeker – Birthday
• Prickit – walked the trail tonight as she didn’t have her running bra
• Rigormortis– discriminating people on disibility, Lord Limp wheesing past
• Sonar – steak fell off, then spilt his beer picking it up.

Skols from the floor

• Stunned Mullet – delivering meat in Sandy Bay. Got a flat battery, door knocked houses to get help. Got sprung when 10th house was Governor Honkers
• Bees Dick– On a chilli attack, safety warning. small one was hotter.
• Arse Cutter – Only 1 working headlight on car.
• Arse Cutter – Terrorising Just Kidding with Spider posts
• Arse Cutter – knocked a box off the table
• Ginger Nuts – Coocked some nice cake for tonight

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2381 – Claremont Foreshore Park

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FUNNIES (True Stories)

A woman walks down a street one day and runs into a man.
The man says, “Your hair smells good today.”
The woman then says, “Yeah, OK.”
The next day on her way home she runs into the same guy, and again he says, “Your hair smells good today.”
By this time the girl was getting freaked out, so she went to the police station and told the police that she wanted to report the man on the street for harassment.
The policeman says, “OK, but what has he done?”
The lady says, “Well, everyday I go the same way home and I run into the man and he says that my hair smells good.”
“Madam, I don’t see a problem with that. He is just being nice,” the officer says.
The woman gets mad and says, “Well, it’s harassment when he is only waist high.”

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Jim Morrison is in one corner of a hotel room with the rest of his band, and in another corner are John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. All are naked.

Monica Lewinsky walks in, squats seductively in front of Jim Morrison and begins to play the pink oboe. She gives him the presidential treatment, then moves on to his guitarist, drummer and keyboard player.

When she’s finished, she licks her lips and wanders over to John Lennon and begins to do the same to him.

At that moment, there’s a huge crash and Michael Caine smashes through a wall in a Mini Cooper. He jumps out, grabs her by the scruff of the neck and shouts . . . .

“Oi, you’re only supposed to blow the Doors off!”

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Little Johnny is in the middle of class and stands up and says, “I have to piss.”

The teacher says, “Now, Johnny, the proper word is ‘urinate’ and while you’re in the bathroom I want you to think of a sentence that has the word ‘urinate’ in it.”

So Johnny goes, does his thing and comes back and the teacher asks, “Well, Johnny, did you think of a sentence?”

He says, “Yes…urinate, and if you had bigger tits you’d be a ten.”

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Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

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NOT SO BRAND NEW H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2025-26

Grand Master	Grizzly
Joint Masters	Contessa Coupla Weeks Wee Willie Winkie
On Sec	Sir Eve
Hash Cash	Gingernuts Grassroots
Hash Lips	Organ Grinder Stunned Mullet
Hash Hops	In The Raw
Trailmaster	Prickit
Hash Flash	Sonar
Hash Horn	Eveready
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/