Volume 44, Issue 22 | September 24, 2025

NEXT RUN | 29 September 2025
Run 2356 from the Kingston Hotel,
14 Channel Highway, Kingston (Gnome Memorial Run)
Hare: Cracker
Cost: $5 Buy own Meal & Drinks
RECEDING HARELINE
| Run No. | Date | Hare Apparent | On On |
| 2357 | 6 October | Marquis Thrillseeker | Cascade Gardens (BBQ Run) |
| 2358-59 | 11-12 October | Oktoberfest | Tamar Valley Resort, Grindelwald |
| 2360 | 13 October | Big Bang | Salacia Ave Park, Howrah |
| 2361 | 20 October | In the Raw | TBA |
KEEPING THE BASTARDS HONEST
Hares in 2025-26. Make sure that your name appears on this list at least once! (Twice if you’re a Co-Hare†)
- Arse Cutter
- Bad News
- Can’t Stop
- Sir Eve
- Eveready
- Grassroots
- Grizzly
- Growler
- Grass Roots
- In the Raw
- Incumming*
- Just Kidding
- Lord Limp
- Organ Grinder*
- Next Week
- Pole Dancer
- Ratu Steady Eddie*
- Rigor Mortis
- Snack Bar
- Sonar
- Steptoe
- Stunned Mullet*
- Sugar Babe
UP AND CUMMING
10-12 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Tamar Valley Resort, Grindelwald (details below)
3 November | Combined Hash Clubs Charity Run @ RYCT
26 November | Hobart Hash Harem 1400th Run @ Queens Head
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
RUN 2355 REPORT
As per my usual, arrive early and get a drink and buy a meal policy, I saw a lovely item on the menu. Thought I’ll have a pint of that! No No No, they said. It is quite strong so the maximum size we’ll do is a schooner. (Me gives sad face) Ok I’ll have a schooner. Pays for meal and schooner ($43). That’s a bit steep I thought. Looked at the beer menu again – $19 schooner. Fark. Oh well. Then I had a sip and thought, no that’s worth it.
What I had inadvertently purchase was a Message in a Bottle – Barrel Aged Imperial Stout that was 11.5%. Delicious. Gave several sips to other Connoisseur Beer Hashers and they were also suitably impressed.
Tasing Notes – Rich, bold and decadently smooth. This imperial stout spent six months resting in American maple bourbon barrels, soaking up layers of sweet oak, vanilla, toasted maple, and warm spirit heat. On the nose, expect intense aromas of dark chocolate, molasses, and maple candy. The palate opens with roasted malts, espresso, and sticky toffee, followed by waves of bourbon warmth, charred oak, and a lingering maple syrup finish. Full-bodied with a silky texture and long, warming tail, a dessert in a glass made for sipping.
So good it should have been Tasmanian, but unfortunately made by Dangerous Ales, a Micro Brewery in The Milton Hotel, Milton NSW. Almost worth a trip.
I digress, back to the Hash at hand. Notable returns were The Burger twins and Comfortably Dumb, Rigormortis, Steptoe and a Hash Virgin Justin Schmidt.



Eventually when Snack Bar realized that it was 6.30 we were ushered out the front for the trail briefing. Snack Bar thanked all for celebrating the theme and wanted full four quarters of guts and determination out there. He also said that the weather had been very ordinary when setting trail, so we should appreciate the effort that went in. The walk about 4km and the run about 5.5km and off we were sent.


As we set of for Sunderland St and Hopkins Street, I kept expecting the late arrival of the newly crowned Marquis Thrillseeker (the magnificent), but his absence was duly noted. A check at the cycleway crossing led to the alleyway through to Gormanston Rd. At this stage the runners had well and truly legged it and were nowhere is sight or sound. Along Gormanston Rd to a check at Derwent Park Rd.



Straight across on down the disused railway line and over the highway (with an FT along the way).



The trail now went back along the Brooker Highway with several FT’s to the footbridge back over the highway. This is where the trail split for the runners and walkers.



Walkers now made their way along Hopkins St, past Benjafield Park, along Station St and through the back car park to the on home. The walk distance was very accurate. A significant amount of Hashers were already back at the venue as the front walkers arrived.



The only issue with driving oneself to Hash is that when there is a spectacular High strength Ale on Tap, you have to be responsible. Well at least I had one earlier before it ran out.
The kitchen staff were very efficient and the meals came out promptly. I enjoyed mine and then we were on the the Lip Session
Organ Grinder was well prepared and everything except the official hash flash went well. This Friday is the cut off for Oktoberfest. On On to Kingston.
As is tradition, the final run before daylight savings is dedicated to departed H5 Hasher Colin ‘Gnome‘ Oliver, and is celebrated by spreading some gnome love around to the good citizens of greater Hobart. So bring a Gnome to leave on the trail next week please.
On! On!
Sir Eve


SKOLS – Organ Grinder
- The Hare: Snack Bar – The Run, good trail, no hills, missing AFL gear
- Country Members – Steptoe, Rigor Mortis, Big Mac, 1/4 Pounder, Comfortably Dumb
- Hash Virgin – Justin Schmidt
- Spoof & Next Week- disappeared into a dark alley together
- Spoof -complained that Just Kidding wasn’t calling, but he was in front of her
- Sonar – Legendary photographic career, flat phone battery again
- Contessa Coupla Weeks – Kingston Park run with 80 year old Fruit Loop, a small head start and couldn’t catch him
- Cracker -wine conversation about only flying business class now (as carry on or in a pet cage)
- Miss Bling – Birthday – age undetermined, nice Cake
Skolls from the floor
- Arse Cutter – got the last of the Imperial Stout before the barrel ran out when In the Raw had already paid for one and missed out (he was not happy at all)
- Just Kidding – Lost Property (stolen Melbourne Badge)
- Ginger Nuts– now Trailer Trash, as has got a Van finish into a Camper
- Ginger Nuts – presented The FRB vest

Salut!
The annual Hash festival of beer and Alpine antics will be held on 11 and 12 Oktober, at the Tamar Valley Resort, Grindelwald.
Cost
The Oktoberfest fee is $90 and covers Saturday lunch and dinner, p!ss stop (including Sir Eve’s Bavarian beverages), gluhwein competition entry and tasting (assuming that the judges don’t drink it all), lucky door prize and a commemorative embroidered badge.
Registration
Make your payment to the H5 Hash Cashiers – Grassroots and Gingernuts – by 26 September. If you can’t get to a H5 trail to make payment, you can use a direct credit payment to the H5 account (ask for bank account details). If making a direct credit, make sure to include your Hash name (or something we can pin down to you) in the details and send an email to this address to confirm.
Accommodation
Book your own accommodation with the Resort on (03) 6330 0400, and quote booking 505253. Accommodation includes breakfast and use of the facilities (pool, spa and sauna). There are plenty of options for sharing cabins.
As is customary, Hashers are invited to break out their dirndl or lederhosen for the Saturday dinner.
Details of the gluhwein competition will follow, once we find three corrupt judges with palettes like that of a meth addict.
Questions? See JM Contessa Coupla Weeks for answers, but you need to be able to understand Canadian. CW also has more details of the cabins, should you want to know which option would suit best.
Prost!
CW and W3




HASH FLASH
Link to all photos for Run 2355 – Moonah Hotel & Cellars
FUNNIES (True Stories)
A gnome with a lisp visits a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth,” he says to the owner of the farm.
“What sort of horse?” asks the owner.
“A female horth,” the gnome replies.
So the owner shows him a mare.
“Nithe horth,” says the gnome . “Can I thee her eyeth?”
So the owner picks up the gnome to show him the horse’s eyes and puts him down again.
“Nithe eyeth,” says the gnome . “Can I thee her teeth?”
Again the owner picks up the gnome to show him the horse’s teeth, and puts him down.
“Nithe teeth. May I now see her earth?” the gnome asks.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the gnome to show him the horse’s ears and then puts him down.
“Nithe earth,” he says. “Now, can I see her twot?”
“With this, the owner picks the gnome up, and, holding him by the scruff of his neck and the back of his belt, shoves his head deep inside the horse’s vagina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The gnome shakes his head and says, “Perhapth I should weefwaze that. Can I see her wun awound?!!”
One day, a young boy walks onto a city bus and sits directly behind the bus driver. He begins to shout at the top of his lungs saying, “If my mommy were a girl elephant and my daddy were a boy elephant, I’d be a baby elephant!” He goes on like this for half an hour when the bus driver finally reacts to the young boy’s antics.
He slams on the brakes and turns around to the boy and yells, “If your mother were a prostitute and your father were gay, what would you be then?”
To which the boy replies with a large grin on his face, “A bus driver.””
Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees, always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed.
Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn’t making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay someone off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. After much thought, he eventually decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off.
So he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah got a terrible headache and needed to take an aspirin. She got the aspirin out of her purse and went to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with.
Mr. Smith followed her to the water cooler, tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Sarah, I’m going to have to lay you, or Jack, off.”
Sarah said, “You’ll have to jack off—I have a headache!”
NOT SO BRAND NEW H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2025-26
| Grand Master | Grizzly |
| Joint Masters | Contessa Coupla Weeks Wee Willie Winkie |
| On Sec | Sir Eve |
| Hash Cash | Gingernuts Grassroots |
| Hash Lips | Organ Grinder Stunned Mullet |
| Hash Hops | In The Raw |
| Trailmaster | Prickit |
| Hash Flash | Sonar |
| Hash Horn | Eveready |
| Hashet Managers | Viagra Next Week |
Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com
Leave a comment