Hares in 2025-26. Make sure that your name appears on this list at least once! (Twice if you’re a Co-Hare†)
Arse Cutter
Bad News
Can’t Stop
Sir Eve
Eveready
Grizzly
Growler
In the Raw
Incumming*
Lord Limp
Pole Dancer
Ratu Steady Eddie*
Rigor Mortis
Sonar
Steptoe
Sugar Babe
UP AND CUMMING 10-12 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Tamar Valley Resort, Grindelwald (details below) 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
RUN 2350 REPORT
Did you know? Moonah is an Aboriginal word meaning ‘gum trees’. New Town Rivulet forms most of the southern boundary. The key transport axis of the suburb is Main Road, which runs between Derwent Park to the north and New Town to the south. Metro Tasmania routes run along this corridor – formerly a tram route – with several stops in Moonah.
Get there early I thought and order the Bangers and Mash before it all goes. Devastated I was! No Bangers and Mash! So I ordered a Pint of the back stuff and the Steak and Ale Pie. Also a little surprised at the price, then realised that the old discount on a Monday night had disappeared with the Fox Friday brewery groups financial issues. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
Good to see a lot of returning Hashers arriving back from their trips. Our esteemed GM Grizzly, Lone Arranger, Just Kidding as well as those slack ones that haven’t been turning up, like Prawn Star, Eveready and Spoof.
Finally we were summoned by Pole Dancer to be out the front of the Pub for the trail briefing. About 4.5km for the walkers and about 7km for the runners and No Hills! Just like a Lip session, there was only a smattering of truth in that.
We basically did a large loop around the hotel. Main Rd to Albert Rd, Station St to Birdwood Ave, Main Rd and an alley to Charles St from Maxwell St. This was quite fortuitous for the walkers as at this point the runners the runners were coming out an alley from a long loop to Springfield Avenue.
Up Hopkins St passed the old Laetare Gardens. This was an old Function Centre before being turned in to units. Burgess Ave to the start of the real hill in Walch Ave. A check at the corner of Cavendish St. Of course the trail went up hill here. Trouble is walkers like to Hash. So most hashed along Cavendish Rd to find the trail coming down Florence St.
Runners split halfway down making their way towards Creek Rd, through St Johns to Tower Rd and Bowen Rd. From Albert Rd a few more bends and it was on home from here on the Main Rd.
Eventually all the meals were served and we waited for the Lips to get organised for the Lip session. Seems as they don’t like doing any washing up and rely on glasses for the venue. The Lip session finally happened. Sonar 500runs, woohoo, that’s taken some time.
As Offal is not too well at the moment, recently returned Just Kidding has stepped in to set next weeks run at “The Mont” Claremont Hotel. Certainly been a while since H5 has been there,
On! On! Sir Eve
500 Runs
SKOLS – Organ Grinder & Stunned Mullet
The Hare: Pole Dancer. Hill wasn’t big enough, Run was longer (10km)
Country Members: Prawn Star, Eveready, Grizzly, Lone Arranger, Just Kidding, Spoof, Blueprint
Sonar – 500 Runs.
Bad News – FRB vest presented
Half a Bees Dick – fucking off to Ireland
Eveready – a Millennial, misplaced her phone, now can’t do anything
Grizzly– Installed a Cuck Chair next to the Lips
Blueprint recently had a Birthday and did 10km on a 7km run
Incumming – did a runner (already left)
French Tickler -supposed to be a Chef, only a jar of vegemite and a frozen pizza in the fridge
Just Kidding – on WA trip, fell into a Pool at a Hotel, trespassing
Arse Cutter & Grass Roots – attended a Sex Ed talk at City Hall, fell asleep
Snack Bar – returned dickhead hat, lost a bet with Spoof, had to buy a beer
Skolls from the floor:
Stunned Mullet – can’t trust a skinny chef
Steptoe – also now known as Stepped On
W3 & Coupla Weeks -Hump hash has banned Grindlewald as a run site until after Oktoberfest
Cost The Oktoberfest fee is $90 and covers Saturday lunch and dinner, p!ss stop (including Sir Eve’s Bavarian beverages), gluhwein competition entry and tasting (assuming that the judges don’t drink it all), lucky door prize and a commemorative embroidered badge.
Registration Make your payment to the H5 Hash Cashiers – Grassroots and Gingernuts – by 26 September. If you can’t get to a H5 trail to make payment, you can use a direct credit payment to the H5 account (ask for bank account details). If making a direct credit, make sure to include your Hash name (or something we can pin down to you) in the details and send an email to this address to confirm.
Accommodation Book your own accommodation with the Resort on (03) 6330 0400, and quote booking 505253. Accommodation includes breakfast and use of the facilities (pool, spa and sauna). There are plenty of options for sharing cabins.
As is customary, Hashers are invited to break out their dirndl or lederhosen for the Saturday dinner.
Details of the gluhwein competition will follow, once we find three corrupt judges with palettes like that of a meth addict.
Questions? See JM ContessaCoupla Weeks for answers, but you need to be able to understand Canadian. CW also has more details of the cabins, should you want to know which option would suit best.
One morning, the members of a farm family were coming to the kitchen for breakfast. Just as Junior seated himself, his mother told him he was not going to get anything to eat until he went to the barn and fed the animals.
Irritated at this, he stomped out the door and headed for the barn. As he fed the chickens, he kicked each one in the head. As the cow bent down to start in on the fresh hay he had just put in the stall, he kicked it in the head. He poured food into the trough for the pigs, and as they started eating, he kicked them in the head. He went back to the kitchen and sat down again.
His mother was furious. “I saw what you did and as you kicked the chickens you’ll get no eggs for breakfast. And since you kicked the cow, you’ll get no milk. And no bacon or sausage because you kicked the pigs.”
Just then, the father came down the stairs and nearly tripped on the family cat. On impulse, he kicked the cat off the stairs. The boy looked at his mother and asked, “Are you going to tell him or should I?”
A Clear Fell went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave Clear Fell a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.”
The next day, Clear Fell reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what had happened and Clear Fell explained: “Well, Doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still got nothing. Then I asked Brazilian for help. Brazilian tried with her right hand, but nothing happened, then she tried with her left, but still nothing happened. Brazilian even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing happened. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but there was nothing doing.”
The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”
Clear Fell replied, “Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get the stupid jar open!”
Spoof was on the beach and he walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini. “I want to feel your breasts,” Spoof said. “Get away from me, you dirty old man,” She replied. “I want to feel your breasts. I will give you $5,” Spoof said. “$5!! Get away from me!” “I want to feel your breasts. I will give you $10,” Spoof said. “NO! Get away from me!” “$50,” Spoof said. She paused to think about it, but then came to her senses and said, “I said NO!” “$100 if you let me feel your breasts,” Spoof said. She thought, well he is old and $100 would be very handy. “Well, OK, but only for a minute,” she said. She loosened her bikini top and while they’re both standing there on the beach, Spoof slid his hands underneath and began to feel…and then Spoof started saying, “OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD,” while he was caressing them. So, out of curiosity, she asked Spoof, “Why do you keep saying ‘Oh my god?’” While continuing to fondle her tits Spoof answered, “OH MY GOD… OH MY GOD… Where am I ever going to get $100?”
Hobart Hash House Harriers and Harriettes 
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