NEXT RUN | 23 June 2025 Run 2342 from the Derwent Tavern 7/11 Old Main Rd., Bridgewater (Bags and Valuables in Cars while on Run) Hare: In the Raw Cost: $5 + $15 Platter Food Buy own Drinks
RECEDING HARELINE
Run No.
Date
Hare Apparent
On On
2343
30 June
Arse Cutter
Hobart Worker Club
2344
7 July
Steptoe
Maypole Hotel
2345
14 July
W3 ?
TBC
HARES NEEDED – SEEPRICKIT, BEFORE SHE SEES YOU!
KEEPING THE BASTARDS HONEST
Hares in 2025-26. Make sure that your name appears on this list at least once! (Twice if you’re a Co-Hare†)
Cant Stop
Sir Eve
Eveready
Growler
Sonar
Rigor Mortis
UP AND CUMMING 10-12 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ Tamar Valley Resort, Grindelwald (details to come) 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
RUN 2341 REPORT
Quite a lot of Hashers turned up for the Run from the Granada Tavern, some had to be rescued from the Public Bar and directed to the Lounge. Nice to see the return of some of the Hashers that have been away or just too slack to turn up (Johnny Fuckacarcus and Rotten). Even Broken Seal brought along a Hash Virgin Emi.
A good menu pleased Governor Honkers who was one of the two servings of the Seniors Rissoles and Mash. Once we had all ordered, we were ushered outside.
As the Hare faffed about, Thrillseeker thanked everyone for coming his run until Rigor Mortis eventually took over. There was a run, there was a walk. There might be a steep bit for the runners, so be careful. A Clue: “Don’t let LIFE pass you by” Let Rigor Mortis know if you found it and the first one will get a free drink.
Off left we were told, along the road to the cycle path. It was relatively mild weather and the pack started to become well spread out.
We looped back beneath the highway with some very good laneways. This confused Highness Eager, who said this was her old running territory. A couple of areas would be dead ends, Not!
Good trails with fair bit of thought. We did get spread out a bit. This is probably because there was Too Much Talking, Not Enough Walking!
Yes, as you can see above, our GM Grizzly and Next Week found the “Get a LIFE” moment with In the Raw taking the evidential photo. Winner Winner below with Ginger Nuts stealing the free glass of bubbles for gazumping to the Hare. No mention at all of the Dalek that was on the trail in near proximity to the LIFE moment. A picture of that is below.
Eventually we were all back at the Tavern, drinking and being Merry. As is becoming typical for Hashers, no one is giving the poor Staff much respect. When someone calls out a food order, EVERYONE should listen. Remember your orders too. No need to keep talking in Outside Voices. Gees!!
Finally the Lips took over for a smaller Skoll session. About 12 minutes. Didn’t see any uploaded phots of the Lip session (maybe they were Crap). We sang the song and went home.
Note for the run 2342.Leave your gear hidden in your Vehicle. There will be no one staying at the Pub. Food will be platter food for $15, plus the $5 Run Fee.
On! On! Sir Eve
SKOLS – Organ Grinder
The Hare: Rigor Mortis. A good turnout. No one tripped.
Country Members & Visitors: Sonar, Johnny Fuckacarcus, Rotten, Top Dek, Tic Toc, Entrance, Broken Seal.
Hash Virgin: Emi (she drinks alcohol)
Johnny FC & In the Raw: Not been for a while Wearing a Geelong Guernsey. Abusive Texts and Six pack bet.
In the Raw: taking pictures tonight, struggled tonight, video etc…
Pole Dancer & Lord Limp: Good Runners and Listeners, Limp couldn’t keep up with both.
HalfaBees Dick: A very fit man, but would be late for his own funeral and paying
Skolls from the floor:
Lone Arranger: Awarded the FRB vest. Stealthy Hashing.
Rigor Mortis: Running instructions “Life passing you by Award” gave it to Ginger Nuts, because she got the answer in first. Photographic evidence.
Lord Limp & Pole Dancer: promise of moist Root on trail. They wanted to know why the didn’t end up at Cadbury’s. It never went that way, not listening to hare.
Cant Stop and Prickit went to the West Coast for a romantic Highland Fling. When they get there, Cant Stop goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”
Prickit says, “Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up.”
After lunch Cant Stop goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! My hands are really freezing!”
Prickit says again, “Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up.” Cant Stop does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, Cant Stop goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, “Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!”
Prickit looks at Cant Stop and says, “For crying out loud, don’t your ears ever get cold?”
A paperboy is doing his monthly round of collecting money from customers. One door is opened by a fairly sexy buxom woman who is wearing a transparent lace negligee.
“Hi, Missus, I’ve come for the paper money. It’s $5 please,” says our boy, with his hand held out.
“I’m afraid I’ve no money in the house,” the woman replies in a breathy voice, “but if you come in I’m sure I can think of something…”
So our lad goes in and the woman throws herself back on the fireside rug, pulling off the negligee, moaning, “You can have ME instead…”
The kid sighs, takes off his bag, and then produces a dick that wouldn’t look out of place on a stud bull. The woman is agog. Our lad then produces a load of big rubber rings from his bag, which he proceeds to stack around his giant knob.
“What are they for?” asks the woman.
“Oh, they’re just to make sure I don’t go all the way in when I fuck you,” replies the boy.
“To hell with them!” implores the woman. “I’ll take all of you!”
Our lad replies… “Not for five fucking dollars you won’t!”
God had just about finished creating the universe, but he had a couple of left-over things in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee standing up.
“It’s a very handy thing,” God told the couple, who he found hanging around under an apple tree. “I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability.”
Adam, excited by this idea, jumped up and begged, “Oh, give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It would be so great! When I’m working in the garden or naming the animals I could just let it rip. It’d be so cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to. Let me stand and pee, oh please…”
On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee).
Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn’t mind if Adam were the one given the ability to pee standing up. And so it was. And it was…well…good.
“Fine,” God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. “And what do we have left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms…”
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As Spoof approached she extended her hand for the ticket, he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”
Q. How do gays refer to hemorrhoids? A. Speed bumps.
Hobart Hash House Harriers and Harriettes 
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