Volume 44, Issue 4 | May 21, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2339	2 June	Can’t Stop	Kingston Hotel, 14 Channel Highway, Kingston
2340	9 June	Eveready	(Kings Birthday Holiday), TBC
2340	16 June	Rigor Mortis	TBC

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UP AND CUMMING
7 – 8 June 2025 | Chardonnay Highland Fling, Tullah
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2337 REPORT

Well I arrived early for the Hash run at about 5.50pm, as the staff were getting ready for a big night with H5 and the Trivia group in the Dining Area. Not quite as early as 1934 when the pub was built. The hotel has gone through many phases and owners since, and was arguably most commonly known as “The Mustard Pot” — or “The Pot” for short. So If someone refers to it as the Mustard Pot, you know where it is now.

I am glad I was early as with another 42 Hasher pack, things were bound to get chaotic. So I quick look at the menu and head to the bar to order and get a drink. They were just starting to sort out the orders, so a schooner of the IPA and Bangers & Mash, sit back and watch the rest unfold. Glad I got in early as apparently it looked like Hash only got 2 servings of the Bangers. (Big Grin).

6.30 and we were all out the front struggling to hear the Hares instruction. One hill, mumble, noise, mumble on right and away.

The walkers and runners split at the end of the block, with the walkers heading to the right. Hashers should really start to concentrate on looking at the trail in winter, as the early walkers barreled past the crossover into a car park and a locked gate. A regroup and along Station Street and onto the bike track. Lack of looking again (with a faint FT) meant that most of the walkers kept going, picking up the trail in Derwent Park Rd. Those that did the actual trail were caught up by the runners about this time.

Must be hot on the left and cold on the right –

Down the disused railway line towards the Zinc works, then into Pearl street where the runners again split from the walkers. A few good laneways and past the Moonah Sports Centre to the n Home in Albert Rd. Again a good run, but with Hashers spread out everywhere. About 4.5 Km for the walk.

Then into the Good Beer and food.

On! On!
Sir Eve

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SKOLS – Stunned Mullet with Dad help – took nearly 30 minutes again

• Sonar: hare – Good Run, Locked Gate. (disgraceful singing at this moment)
• Country Members: Cracker, Eveready, W3, Bad News.
• Sonar: getting down on his knees to take photos
• Naming: Pink, now to be known as Comfortably Dumb
• Rigor Mortis: with Eager, there’s a car, go under. Pushed her in front of Bus
• French Tickler: No Hash gear. Has her own handcuffs, hers are fluffy
• Magic Touch: doing a lot of social running, stopped 3 times to do shoe laces, also got pissed and spat on. Checking her steps.
• Eveready: Text message, lift to hash. Doesn’t like cockroaches.
• Eveready: Rogaining in Launceston, left half team behind.
• Can’t Stop & Prickit: have bout a motorhome. Upside down pineapple.
• Poledancer: didn’t see Eager down there on run.
• Just Kidding & Lord Limp: didn’t have glasses, ordered Hot Pizza last week, got red hot chilli one, felt it following day
• Grass Roots: struggling with technology for cash
• Eveready: Hash Horn, struggling to blow, sounded like a wet fart
• Eveready & Sir Eve: Horn blowing lessons
• DNR, Viagra & Top Dek: Fucking Off song
• Top Dek: racist on the City to Casino (only hasher)
• IDIOT award – Cracker: Fell over on the trail, not far to fall (@Hardly Normal)
  Skolls from the Floor:
• Stunned Mullet & Prawn Star: Mum really disappointed about Lip job as no one in the household can seem to wash up skoll cups
• In The Raw: Thanked everyone in the AGPU report except for PoleDancer
• An Award not presented on the APU night: PoleDancer given the CUNT award from the AGPU, Photographer last year and didn’t take pictures on the run.
• Sonar: Forgot to charge his phone, can’t take photos with it flat
• Governor Honkers & Sir Eve: Not Happy, Happy – Bangers and Mash dinner

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2337 – Moonah Hotel & Cellars

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FUNNIES (True Stories)

“Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.
“Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been going on?”
“Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do you have sex?”
“About 5 times a year.”
“Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.”

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Prawn Star to Stunned Mullet:
Endeavour to marry a girl with small hands, it’ll make your penis look bigger.

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Prickit was so pleased with the Jerk Off’s decorator work. The house was beautifully fresh and clean. She took Can’t Stop upstairs to see the finished results but he’d just been in the garden and left his dirty handprints all over the bedroom door.
She could have cried with disappointment.
The next morning when the Jerk Off came to finish off she smiled sweetly at him and said, “I really can’t thank you enough for such a good job. I just wondered if you would mind coming upstairs for a few minutes so that I can show you where Can’t Stop Put his hand.”
The Jerk Off visibly paled and stuttered his reply.
“No thanks, if its all the same to you. Just a letter of recommendation would be nice.”

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A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, “This scope is so good, you can see my house up on that hill.”

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” asks the clerk.
“I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house,” the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets. I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s dick off.”

The man takes another look through the scope and says, “You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”

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BRAND NEW H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2025-26

Grand Master	Grizzly
Joint Masters	Contessa Coupla Weeks Wee Willie Winkie
On Sec	Sir Eve
Hash Cash	Gingernuts Grassroots
Hash Lips	Organ Grinder Stunned Mullet
Hash Hops	In The Raw
Trailmaster	Prickit
Hash Flash	Sonar
Hash Horn	Eveready
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/