Volume 43, Issue 48 | March 17, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2330	31 Mar	Triple K	Lennox Park, Old Beach
2331	7 April	Thrill Seeker	Cascade Gardens – lower car park
2332	14 April	Hare required
2333	21 April	Hare required
2334	28 April	The JMs	AGPU at the new, revamped Queen’s Head Hotel. See flyer for details

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UP AND CUMMING

28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
12 April 2025 | High Noon for Full Moons @ Ross
26 May 2025 | Combined Hash Clubs Charity Run
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2328 REPORT

Allowing Hashers loose with water pistols. What could go wrong?

Initially, all was calm as the general Hash-day business took place, with only the odd range-finding watery blast hitting an unsuspecting target. The spacing between Hashers was reminiscent of post-COVID days, as various Hashers wrapped in plastic headed to the demilitarised zone around the Hash Cashiers, before retreating for cover.

Then the Hash equivalent of the US Army arrived – Stunned Mullet and Prawn Star – loudly charging in and hitting anyone within range with vivid green spray. This seemed to be the cue to unleash Armageddon, as everyone unloaded like a sailor on shore leave. The Hash run record sheet looked like Jackson Pollock had a crème de menthe chunder.

The calm in the storm was Viagra, who successfully bought his safety with a carton of Guinness, while Guv’nor Honkers declared his neutrality with a robust ‘f*ck off’, with a subtlety that the Swiss could learn from. Others had different techniques for avoiding carnage. Mr Bean – without question, the easiest target – donned a camouflage jacket and was not seen again, French Tickler used a canine shield (surely that’s against the Geneva Convention), while Next Week steadfastly tended the Firemaster 3000, for no-one was about to threaten the option of a post-drenching fire.

Highness Eager declared a dislike of guns – even water pistols – so chose flour bombs, because bombs are much friendlier.

In strode Thrill Seeker, casually walking up to a now dripping Rigor Mortis (not sure what got her so excited), before readying himself with a lack of fuss for which he is well known. Suddenly, he produced a homemade WMD from his bag and turned into Thrill Seeker, Man of Action – darting around and taking pot shots, then disappearing before anyone could react.

Hare Lord Limp stepped up to give the chalk talk and also declared himself to be neutral – but with far less conviction than Honkers – then disappeared in a storm of ‘you don’t look Swiss to me’ fire. When the mist settled, the Hare explained that, in honour of St Patrick’s Day, the trail was set back to front. Not sure if our resident Irishman, Snack O’ Bar, would have felt it an honour, but he wasn’t there, so f*ck him.

The reverse trail wasn’t at all confusing, but it did give some idea how to see the world as Fruit Loop might see it. When we doubled back around the clubrooms we were ambushed by the Hares, using their porn star money shot water cannons.

Trail wended its way around the tracks of Upper Domain, which afforded plenty of cover for Thrill Seeker, Man of Action to lay in wait for unsuspecting targets. There was a scream from mid-Pack as DNR took concussive evasive action while eluding the late starting Burger Boys.

Twice more Just Kidding and Limp staged an ambush, but by this time everyone was as wet as they were going to be and much drier than they wanted to be (in a beer sense). Between the water, the flour and the body heat, I was one thrush infection away from being a pizza.

While the water shenanigans were key features of the Hash, the trail itself was worthy of praise as it kept most together. Well done to the Hares.

On! On! Grizzly

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SKOLS

• Lord Limp, Highness Eager and Just Kidding: Hare/s
• Dishlicker, Incoming, Limp, Organ Grinder, Ratu Steady Eddie
• Burger Boys Big Mac & Quarter Pounder – double-teaming Rigor Mortis to stick something in her money slot.
• Rigor Mortis – making dick shots with her oversized bazooka.
• Just Kidding – new shoes!
• Eager – has her own throne room at Legacy Park
• Organ Grinder – give away Collingwood Hash shirt left at Snug because no-one was interested, not even their number one (and only) supporter at H5.

• Stunned Mullet & French Tickler – ‘It’s a small hole’ and ‘I can barely fit my finger in it’ apparently have something to do with SM trying to dry his shirt out by the Firemaster 3000 but ended up burning a hole in it.
• Cameron (Mr Bean and Miss Bling’s ‘little’ boy) – born-again virgin.
• Growler – tried on her new Freo Nash Hash shirt, worried that it was the wrong size. Reassurance from the Lip that the puppies were appropriately contained.
• Ratu Steady Eddie – no idea; thanks Prawn Star.
• DNR – Hashy birthday to you.
• Big Mac – FRB jacket.
• Triple K – squawking instead of warning Rigor Mortis of a sniper attack by the Hares.
• Prawn Star – ceremonial burning of his Lip notebook because he thought that this was his last circle. Still has five weeks to go!

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2328

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/