Volume 43, Issue 47 | March 10, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2329	24 Mar	Hare required
2330	31 Mar	Triple K	Lennox Park, Old Beach
2331	7 April	Hare required
2332	14 April	Hare required
2333	21 April	Hare required
2334	28 April	The JMs	AGPU at the new, revamped Queen’s Head Hotel. See flyer for details

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UP AND CUMMING

28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
26 May 2025 | Combined Hash Clubs Charity Run
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2327 REPORT

Confusion: a situation in which people do not understand what is happening, what they should do, or who someone or something is.

Mr Bean’s trail was an outstanding example of the concept of ‘confusion’. More on that later.

A large crowd gathered at the palacio de Bean y Bling for Run 2327. Early comers were greeted by the sight of Darth Farter returning on a BMW bike, brandishing chalk. He claimed he had just finished re-setting trail because the wind had blown away half of Mr Bean’s original flour marks. WTF?

How many Hashers does it take to change a light bulb? This question came to mind watching Next Week backing Vivyan into the driveway, assisted by a few handwaves from Viagra and various ‘helpful’ comments from the sidelines.

Grizzly announced that it was a free run, launching into a prepared speech about providing much-needed cost of living relief to poor Hashers who were doing it tough. Weasel words which would cause envy in the Trumpet Party. (I believe they’re advertising for more spin doctors; this could be the chance of a lifetime for Grizzly.)

Mr Bean’s chalk talk included the claim that it was the inaugural Skyfall run, with only one hill, which we were already on, walkers could expect 2.6kms, runners 3.6kms, and he had included a tiny bit of off-road for the runners (who were, however, unable to find it).

So, we followed some arrows down the steep hill. Trail marking soon degenerated to the unintelligible. WTF did ‘D’ mean? This soon became apparent when we passed lots of ‘OH’ marks with arrows pointing in the opposite direction. So, showing Holmesian powers of deduction, we deduced that ‘D’ meant ‘down’; ‘OH’ meant we would follow the same trail up the same hill to get back On Home. WTF?

Virgin Tony (Cracker’s brother), asked what he thought of the trail, replied that he was confused but was putting all his faith in the arrows. Visitors Donga and Honeymoon were confused but having a great time regardless. Even the most experienced H5 Hashers were confused. Confusion reigned!

Mystery still surrounded all the ‘BN’ marks. WTF? I asked Clearfell, who as GM should have the answer to all tough Hash questions, for a translation. His response? ‘No bloody idea!’ So, I pondered the mystery awhile. Could it be Bad News, in homage to the good JM? Biggus Nortius? Bougie Neighbourhood? Badass Nonsense? For anyone who still cares, Mr Bean reveals that the answer is Beer Near. WTF?

A Piss Stop was, in fact, near, at the Battery Lookout near the bottom of Churchill Ave, and we enjoyed tasty cocktails instead of beer. The beer was 1.3kms away, a 106m climb up the hill. So, after lingering over cocktails until the biting wind drove us away, we did a little loop and then followed our downward steps back up the hill. WTF?

Mr Bean’s promise of a pool seemed less attractive when the temperature, Tassie stye, dropped from 32 degrees earlier in the day to around 16 degrees with winds howling up the hill from the Derwent. But Ms Bling revealed that the pool was indoors, heated to 30 degrees and came with adjacent sauna, so a few Hashers indulged.

The Lip session conducted by Bee’s Dick and Prawn Star was a salutary lesson in how to turn bullshit into a good story.  Mr Bean’s Hare skol was shared with his family, who had apparently provided the technical support; personally, I think Astoria Tinky Winky Farter(aka Baby Bling) was the brains behind the operation.

On On – Cracker

For your reading delight, the next four run reports will be brought to you by Next Week, Contessa Coupla Weeks, Sir Eve, and Grizzly, with Grizzly putting together the Trash from far-flung corners of Australia. What could possibly go wrong? I won’t care, because I’ll be climbing mountains – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Mr Bean and family: Hare/s
• Donga and Honeymoon: visitors from Sydney Northern Beaches and Thailand
• Mr Bean: maintaining his fruit trees with piss
• Tony: Hash virgin
• Darth Farter, Tinky Winky, Astoria Tinky Winky Farter (aka Baby Bling): c#ntry members
• TicToc: needed something in her mouth to stop it flapping around
• TicToc: as above (last chance)
• Grizzly: spin doctor: claimed free run was planned as cost of living relief
• TicToc: lost property
• Sonar: wearing ventilated shorts, exposing his sensitive bits
• Cracker (from ITR): it was claimed she had parked her little car in the driveway. It was Astoria Tinky Winky Farter’s car and the skol almost caused a toddler existential crisis.
• Snack Bar: lost property
• Bee’s Dick: MILLSTONE: 100 runs
• Do Not Resuscitate: MILLSTONE: 150 runs (although in an Eve-style attempt to rig the books, claimed to have many more than that)
• Brazilian: MILLSTONE: 450 runs

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2327

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/