Volume 43, Issue 43 | February 10, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2325	24 Feb	Stunned Mullet & Prawn Star	23 Taranaki Place, Snug
2326	3 Mar	Hare required
2327	10 Mar	Mr Bean	29 Amanda Crescent, Sandy Bay Bring swim wear for the pool
2328	17 Mar	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash Run
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2323 REPORT

The Bridgewater old railway junction, site of ITR’s Run 2323, is so far behind the Flannelette Curtain that it could be called a Faraway Land (for fans of the Faraway Tree, this would be located somewhere between the Land of Dame Slap and the Land of Goodies).

In this Faraway Land, there’s not much left of the old Bridgewater station – a dirt mound that once formed Platform 1, a bit of fencing some poles – but, when it opened in the 1880s, it was the bustling terminus of the old Bridgewater line. The station building on the main platform, in keeping with behind-the-Flannelette-Curtain-norms, was burned down by arsonists in 1983. The station closed in 1987; most of the infrastructure was demolished around 1990 (by the authorities this time, not arsonists), and the rest was demolished in 2006.

Ah, the ambience of Bridgewater: wailing sirens, backfiring bikes, squealing tyres.  A smallish pack savoured the atmosphere.  It was good to welcome back Wee Willie Winkie and Bad News (the good JM, remember) after their sojourn in the wilds of Scotland.

At precisely 6.30pm, ITR (the bad JM, remember) called order, once again throwing around his weight by claiming Grand Poobah status. It was universally agreed that he is certainly the biggest poo ever. The Hare’s chalk talk was dominated by the admission of no piss stop. What? A piss stop is the signature of ITR runs. The Hare’s excuse was that he needed to stay behind to guard Hash cars. Yes, you’ve gotta love the ambience of Bridgewater.

The pack set off along the railway line, with views of the River Derwent on our left. However, the most impressive view was of a goat out the back (of a van, to be precise). Don’t know how ITR engineered that, but it was incredibly impressive. (This is a paid advertisement, of course, funded from ITR’s ‘I Am Not The Most Hated Man In Hash’ marketing campaign.)  An early and long FT caused some confusion, as it was supposed to be an FT for walkers and runners but not for the NDIS mob. ITR should have known from experience that this was way too complicated for Hashers.

Back on track, we turned inland and followed the incongruously named Serenity Drive for a while, passing cutesy statues of just about everything except gnomes. Next Week noted that, the further we went, the bigger the houses and statues became. The ultimate, somewhere up around Woodrieve Rd, were some life-size statues of cows with thylacine stripes, which Her Highness Eager eagerly named thylacows, a species previously unknown to Hashdom.

We passed a school for little learners, which excited Her Highness Eager and Cracker, who were both eager to learn how to do burnouts. We then continued through the industrial wastelands, with black burnout marks striping the roadway and strips of shredded tyres littering the ground in homage to the Gods of the Wastelands. Yes, you’ve gotta love the ambience of Bridgewater. This was all virgin territory, a fact that the Hare mentioned a few times. Of course, it was possibly virgin territory for very good reasons, but the Hare didn’t mention this.

In the absence of all other Hash photographers, Cracker spent most of the trail running around the pack like a kelpie around sheep in order to take photos, all while writing the run report in her head. Really, she has to do everything!

Total distance for the walkers was 5.35kms. Triple K did all three long FTs, and Sir Eve did two; this produced an amount of whinging totally out of proportion to the extra distance they walked. Total ascent was only 107m, so the Flat Earthers had nothing to complain about (but they complained anyway). Spoof, trying to be clever with a short cut, ended up on the runners’ trail before retiring to the pub in a sulk. Fortunately, he re-emerged just before a search party was launched.

Back at the On On, ITR had done an outstanding job in supplying Banjo’s bread (none of that cheap supermarket shite that some Hares buy), preparing the BBQ and getting the Firemaster 5,000 to optimal cooking temperature, all while bravely defending Hashers’ cars from the marauding hordes of Bridgewater. (Yes, this is a paid advertisement.) 

The Lip session was delayed as sole Lip Bee’s Dick poured ice cream sundaes instead of beers. When he tried to get chief heckler Sonar to help out as Beer Bitch, Sonar refused, claiming his feelings had been hurt. But, at last, the Lip session was done, to the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, cleverly engineered by ITR. (Yes, another paid advertisement.) Having survived the industrial wastelands and Lip session, we were relaxing around the fire, thinking of another beer, only to realise that Hash Hops Thrill Seeker had taken his eskies and p#ssed off early. Ah well, at least the fire was nice … until Sir Eve converted it to smoke with several litres of water. Bah humbug! The Christmas grinches have come out early!

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• ITR: hare
• Spoof, Wee Willie Winkie, Bad News, Just Kidding: c#ntry members
• Lord Limp: gave Rigor Mortis a serve: claimed she was unrootable after one root
• Spoof: hanging out in the pub while everyone was worried that he was lost on trail
• Rigor Mortis: looking too happy at the report of Spoof going down on a bush
• Mr Bean: told Miss Bling she could cook his meat; ended up doing his own cooking
• Can’t Stop: asked Pricket how the porn/corn was going
• Just Kidding: lost property: her birthday tiara
• Just Kidding: tried to make all Hashers skol because she was the only one wearing flannelette
• Lord Limp (from ITR): stole ITR’s beer, even though the stubby holder had ITR’s face on it, and slobbered all over it
• Bee’s Dick (from Rigor Mortis): playing 8 ball, claimed he didn’t know how to play with those balls
• ITR (from Growler): for attention to detail: provided a goat out the back on trail
• ITR: handed the FRB shirt by Rigor Mortis

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2323

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/