Volume 43, Issue 41 | January 27, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2323	10 Feb	ITR	Bridgewater Old Railway Junction, Wallace St
2324	17 Feb	DNR	152 Marys Hope Rd, Rosetta Mardi Gras theme
2325	24 Feb	Stunned Mullet & Prawn Star	TBA
2326	3 Mar	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash Run
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2321 REPORT

What a literary feast last week’s temporary deputy assistant On Sec (aka Grizzly) served in his run report – worthy of Booker Prize nomination (and certainly more entertaining than some of the Booker Prize winners that Gov’nor Honkers reads). Grizzly’s report creatively slandered a record number of Hashers, and left me chortling for hours. A hard act to follow! Still, I must add that the Booker Prize is awarded for works of sustained fiction, which is probably why there was only one solid Fact in last week’s whole run report. In Fact, to mis-quote a famous Scottish writer, Grizzly uses Facts as a drunk man uses lamp-posts … for support rather than illumination.

So, back to Run 2321 and Facts: 25 Hashers gathered at Rigor Mortis’ Casa de Colston on a hot night at the end of a long week-end. The Hare’s chalk talk, commencing with the astute observation that it was hot, was drowned out by applause at the mention of a Piss Stop.

Trail started along Colston St and through the back streets and paddocks of Claremont. An early check saw Can’t Stop shuffling up a hill that was far too steep for the heat, with other Hashers on power saving mode and yelling for him to check faster. Fortunately, the way forward proved to be flat (more or less).The sight of an ancient Magna rusting away in the street brought ITR to an extreme state of excitement as he cased it for spare parts.

Trail continued into the wilderness of largely empty building sites in a new sub-division. Here, Hashers were accosted by a local demanding to know what we were doing on private property. That diplomatic duo, Next Week and Coupla Weeks, appointed themselves as Cultural Attachés to placate the grump. It must be said that Next Week failed miserably when he pointed out that the area was an industrial wasteland, and the grump had nothing to complain about. Coupla Weeks claimed to have shown empathy, but then her story inexplicably morphed into an account of an empathic encounter with a vagrant while she was picking up her cocks along the Southern Outlet. Can’t Stop, believe it or not, gets my vote for Cultural Attaché: from a safe distance (always useful when talking of diplomacy and Can’t Stop in the same sentence), he suggested claiming we were on a charity run and all would be well. Well, he can’t have done a worse job of diplomacy than Mr and Mrs Weeks!

The walkers then meandered through some more country roads until hitting an intersection with signposts pointing to Toffolis Rd and Sky Farm Rd – real outposts of civilisation – before looping around for a return along Abbotsfield Rd. Just before the On On, Rigor Mortis was waiting as promised with the welcome Piss Stop (a dying tradition in H5) and an interesting selection of drinks. Well done, Rigor!

Total distance for the walkers’ trail was 4.22kms, total ascent 122m. I attempted to get some information about the NDIS trail, but reliable Facts were in short supply. Mother of Pearl reported that she had only walked straight from the Casa de Colston, so she was no help. Mr Bean claimed that he had walked to the top of every hill that ever there was, so concluded that he couldn’t possibly have been on the NDIS trail. As for the runners’ trail, the only indication I have is from Hump Day Hash’s Blueprint (it was obviously another quiet night in Lonnie Town) who, running past with the comment that he had been told he had to hate ITR as the most Hated Man in Hash, admitted that he actually hated Rigor Mortis more.

Back at the On On, a number of Hashers cooled off in Rigor Mortis’ pool. Star of the show was Prawn Star, who won the Creative Bare Butt Duck Dive Competition (Fact: he was the only competitor in this prestigious competition). Just a hint, Prawn Star: the object of a duck dive is to end up vertical in the water, not horizontal.

The Lip session was frequently interrupted by the ‘thwack’ of Hashers hitting their heads on the low beam of Rigor’s carport. Slow learners! Her Highness Eager and Cracker had no such problems, yet another example of the world belonging to small people, even if they are Hashers.

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Rigor Mortis: hare
• Ratu Steady Eddie, Nancy Boy, Cracker: c#ntry members
• Blueprint: visitor from Hump Day Hash
• Blueprint: revealed his wife beater tan in the pool
• Blueprint: lost his car keys
• Blueprint: racist: Cadbury marathon last week (by this stage, Blueprint had almost drunk H5 dry)
• Prickit: failed phone sex with Can’t Stop (and, even though there’s no right of reply, she claimed she has it with Grizzly all the time and it’s great)
• Stunned Mullet: various misdemeanors on Bruny Island
• Grizzly: head butted the carport, leaving it looking like it had been hit by a bulldozer
• Bee’s Dick: wearing the worst pare of holey socks ever seen
• Next Week: pissed off the native along trail by telling him he lived in an industrial wasteland
• Grizzly and Her Highness Eager (from Next Week): took Vivyan’s reserved parking spot on the nature strip
• Next Week (from ITR): failed to bring the Firemaster 5,000
• Nancy Boy (from Can’t Stop): broke Rigor Mortis‘ chair by sitting on it
• Can’t Stop (from Blueprint): got lost on the way to Hash
• Snack Bar (from Next Week): magnificant delivery of the BBQ and equipment last week – except for the legs
• Rigor Mortis: MILLSTONE: 150 runs
• Triple K: MILLSTONE: 600 runs

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2321

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/