Volume 43, Issue 40 | January 19, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2322	3 Feb	Organ Grinder	The Springs, Wellington Park
2323	10 Feb	ITR	Bridgewater Old Railway Junction, Wallace St
2324	17 Feb	DNR	152 Marys Hope Rd, Rosetta. Mardi gras theme
2325	24 Feb	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash Run
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2320 REPORT

PRELUDE 1

My mobile phone rings. The display reads ‘Minister for Small Facts‘. I answer with ‘Hi Cracker.’

“Hi Grizzly, it’s Cracker.” (I silently roll my eyes, but I’m pretty sure that it could be heard on the other end.) “I’m going to be away this Monday, airing my bush on a walk down south. I’ve appointed you temporary deputy assistant On Sec. Remember to stick to the facts and don’t f*ck it up this time.”

“Errr… okay?” was my response, but Cracker had already disconnected.

Soon after, the phone rings again. This time it reads ‘Chicken Legs‘. “Hi Poley.”

“Hey Grizzly, it’s Poley.” (I check to see if my phone is on ‘mute’.) “Listen, my pen is enlargement class has been changed to this Monday, so you’ll need to take the photos. You usually do, anyway.”

“Anything to assist in your personal growth” was my response, but he wasn’t waiting around. Probably had homework to do.

Phone rings – ‘Firemaster OG‘. I wait a moment or two before answering with “Next Week.”

“Hi Grizzly, it’s Next Week” – I’m starting to detect a wind-up – “I need someone to grab Vyvyan for tonight, I’m heading over to New Zealand to do a nude photography course and won’t be at Hash.”

“Love to help Next Week, but my plate’s pretty full and I don’t have a tow bar. Give Snack Bar a call – he’s a dependable chap.”

End PRELUDE 1

PRELUDE 2

The phone rings – it shows ‘WOT‘ as the caller. “Hi Thrill Seeker. Let me guess, you need someone to take the grog on Monday.”

“… I think that I’ve dialled the wrong number – I was after ‘Grab a Granny‘. Sorry.”

“No worries, but you’ll probably find that Cracker is out of phone range.”

End PRELUDE 2

With so many regulars away, I had thought that the Pack for Prickit’s trail would be quite modest. To be fair, having trail start from the bottom end of the Truganini Track was always going to result in a lot of ‘hair washing’. Instead, it was a bumper Pack of fool hardys, including Blueprint from Hump Hash (because he had f*ck-all else to do on a Monday night in Launny, I expect).

Snack Bar arrived, the Hash BBQ bouncing around in the back of his ute, and he even remembered the gas bottle! The front seat was awash in tomato sauce and sriracha, and the utensils were banging around in the tin like a pencil dick in a 70-year old hooker. All looked good until it came time to set the barbie up, only to find that it was much like In The Raw at an Oktoberfest. Legless.

Highness Eager suggested that they just place it on the ground so that she wouldn’t have to keep jumping up to turn her sausage. Instead Snacky made use of a handy fire-proof structure on site – an 1835 sandstone memorial horse trough. You could hear the keyboards of the Sandy Bay and Taroona Citizens’ Collective Facebook group firing up.

The evening’s entertainment done, Prickit got up to ‘sell’ her trail. “A bit of everything,” she said. “A bit of up, a bit of down…” she continued. I know a snake oil salesman when I hear one, and Prickit was offering 10 litres of A-Grade King Brown lube at a bargain-basement price.

Cracker’s useless Fact of the day: snake oil comes from the Chinese water snake, and is chock full of omega-3 acids. These have been known to help with things like arthritis and other muscle and joint pain. Probably would have come in handy a bit later on.

The walkers were sent up the Truganini Track, while the runners were sent south. Tellingly, the latter group did not include Can’t Stop, who may have known something and showed no shame in ambling the walkers’ trail. (Sonar also headed out on the walkers’ trail, because he’s not stupid.)

The start of the Track is quite pleasant, a nice, leafy-covered bush track alongside a creek. Until it wasn’t*. Tinky Winky got to the first creek crossing and, despite having Astoria Winky Farter secured in the all-wheel drive buggy, said ‘f*ck this’ and headed home. Miss Bling would have done the whole trail, but decided that she should remain with Tinky less they get attacked by rogue pademelons. (Mr Bean also returned, because he’s not stupid.)

* It was still a leafy track alongside a creek. It just wasn’t pleasant.

The Pack continued the climb in relative silence, broken by Rigor Mortis explaining that she doesn’t like uphill but she loves going down. This wasn’t exactly news as I’m pretty sure that had read something along those lines on a toilet wall in Claremont.

Lone Arranger had made it all the way to the top of the hill, then decided ‘f*ck this’ and turned to head back down. Gravity then had something to say about stepping off into mid-air, and LA head-butted the gravel. The gravel won. The injuries were not dissimilar to Miss Bling’s recent horizontal dismount – a few scrapes and a broken fingernail. Thankfully, Spoof was on hand to return LA to upright and softly massage her bruised tits ego.

Once at the top – the second top – there were breathtaking views of Hobart, although I suspect that the climb did all the heavy work in the breathtaking stakes.

I was passed by Dobber, who paused long enough to explain that she was recovering from an Achilles problem and shouldn’t be running. But she did. Down a steep, rocky slope. Perhaps she goes to Can’t Stop’s doctor.

Part way down the one hill, I spotted a thylacine just five metres off to the right of the track. It was huge and standing very still. This was most likely due to it being a solid steel sculpture. Soon, other large sculptures – seal, shark, Tasmanian devil, eagle – could be seen in the expansive yard. Could be seen if you bothered to stop and look, which Eveready and Blueprint did not. Nor seemingly anyone else, judging by the blank looks when quizzed later.

On her way past, Sugar Babe explained with prejudice that she had been on the runners’ walk, but this would have changed once trail bottomed out at Sandy Bay Road for the 1.5km return to beer.

It was yet another solid test of lungs and legs, but parts of the trail I’d not been through before, so that and the interesting sculptures were worth the price of admission (once you included the beer after). Thanks Prickit!

POSTSCRIPT

Lone Arranger had to attend the emergency nail and Brazilian waxing clinic the following day for nail repairs. It seems that one other Hasher had been in earlier, having done ‘a Bling’ on trail, and also had to get a nail job. That could explain Sugarbabe’s cheery disposition on her descent.

End POSTSCRIPT

On On – temporary deputy assistant to On Sec Cracker

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SKOLS

• Prickit – Hare.
• DNR, Viagra, Morticia, Organ Grinder, Dishlicker, Dobber – c*untry members.
• Blueprint – visitor from Hump Hash in Launny.
• Lone Arranger – graffiti spotted on a car, read ‘LA Signprinting’.
• LA – IDIOT (I Did It On Trail) badge for going down on trail.
• Can’t Stop – new shoes.
• Honkers, Sonar and Grizzly – post-vintage hoons zooming around the Huon Valley.
• Quarter Pounder – letting Sonar grab his horn. Again.
• Snack Bar – had one job…
• Bee’s Dick – calling Big Mac up for a skol when it was for Quarter Pounder. You’d expect a brother to be able to tell the difference.
• TopDek – 600 Run millstone (and a third nipple, according to Prawn Star).

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2319

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/