Volume 43, Issue 39 | January 13, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2321	27 Jan	Rigor Mortis	33 Colston St, Claremont
2322	3 Feb	Organ Grinder	The Springs, Wellington Park
2323	10 Feb	ITR	Bridgewater Old Railway Junction, Wallace St
2324	17 Feb	DNR	152 Marys Hope Rd, Rosetta. Mardi gras theme
2325	24 Feb	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash Run
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2319 REPORT

Hashers gathered at Hestercombe Reserve for H5 Run 2319 on an evening when rain threatened but did not fall, in line with Grizzly’s (often-untrue) claim that it never rains on a Hash trail. Next Week was there early, getting the Firemaster 5000 going so that the coals would be at perfect steak-cooking temperature when we returned from trail; after last week’s fire debacle, Next Week has decided he can’t rely on Hash infidels to do this important job. Sir Eve was there helping, using his blower despite 40 knot winds.

There were a few c#ntry members, including Mother of Pearl, fulfilling her New Year’s resolution, and Vodka Cruiser, a refugee from Chardy Hash, who lives over the hill and was able to explain the fine social distinctions of the border line between Granton and Hestercombe Estate.

Rigor Mortis was bleating the familiar refrain, ‘Who hasn’t paid?’ directed at the Burger Boys. She thought they should go to her for a change – surely that’s an unreasonable expectation from a Hash Cash? In any case, they were distracted by Gov’nor Honkers showing them some ‘interesting’ photos of himself.

The track notes for Gould’s Lagoon (right next to Hestercombe Reserve) tell me that it was designated as a wildlife sanctuary in 1938, and encourage me to take a gentle stroll on the track around this thriving sanctuary where over one hundred species of birds have been observed. Did trail go around the lagoon? No! When I asked Hare Sonar why, he replied that the lagoon was too deep to walk across and, in any case, he saw only two birds. Fair enough!

So, Sonar directed us away from the lagoon, toward the Derwent River. His chalk talk included reference to an NDIS trail, a short walk, a long walk, and a run. Way too confusing for Hashers, as shown by the fact that the runners, led by Pole Dancer, started off with a loop of the NDIS trail.

Trail led the walkers through some paddocks toward the river, then along the railway line for a short stint. We followed the coast around Whitestone Point, a nice use of land skirting some very new housing developments, through some more almost-bush (and, I believe, Virgin territory for H5) before crossing Main Rd and returning to suburbia, finishing with a stroll along Jacques Rd which bought us full circle back to the On On.

The Burger Boys – surprise! – were last back to the On On after a failed short cut attempt. Luke (now known as Sticky Discharge) had attempted to call them back but, as he was also lost, that probably wouldn’t have helped much. Meanwhile, Bee’s Dick couldn’t cook his food because it was locked in the Burger Boys’ car. Apparently, he doesn’t take charge of the keys because he dreams that, one day, his brothers won’t be the last to arrive Home.

So, it was a hungry Bee’s Dick who conducted the Lip session. I would like to say that this prompted compassion and sympathy from the well-fed Hashers who had enjoyed their steak perfectly cooked on the coals … but I cannot.

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Sonar: hare
• Gov’nor Honkers: delayed the Burger Boys from paying by distracting them with photos of himself
• Burger Boys: dicky knees, trying to fit in with the rest of us
• Sonar: had one job, to protect the fire while the pack was out on trail; was chastised by a passing child for burning the ground
• Cracker: disturbed the Loch Ness monster during a little foray into the swamp
• Pole Dancer: stole Thrill Seeker’s hidden stout from the esky
• Clearfell: his jag broke down on the way to a car show
• Mother of Pearl (from Thrill Seeker): had trouble working out how to get across a multi-way pedestration crossing
• Triple K (from Grizzly): parking misdemeanors: made numerous attempts to park at the On On, only to end up where she had started
• Pole Dancer (from Grizzly): led the runners astray by missing the R signs and doing the NDIS loop instead
• Burger Boys (from Thrill Seeker): were seen lying down in the grass waiting for something (and something got lost in translation)
• MILLSTONE: MOTHER OF PEARL: 300 runs
• MILLSTONE: Contessa COUPLA WEEKS: 1,150 RUNS
• NAMING: STICKY DISCHARGE: the Hasher formerly known as LUKE will henceforth be known as STICKY DISCHARGE

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2319

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, (former) most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/