Volume 43, Issue 38 | January 6, 2025

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2320	20 Jan	Prickit	Cartwright Reserve, Sandy Bay
2321	27 Jan	Rigor Mortis	33 Colston St, Claremont
2322	3 Feb	Organ Grinder	The Springs, Wellington Park
2323	10 Feb	ITR	Bridgewater Old Railway Junction, Wallace St
2324	17 Feb	DNR	152 Marys Hope Rd, Rosetta. Mardi gras theme
2325	24 Feb	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2318 REPORT

From the Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary:
Undulation: n. a wavy motion or form, a gentle rise and fall
The Hare’s artful mis-use of this word has inspired the Hon Sec too try a few mis-used words of her own, just two sea Gov’nor Honkers tear out his hare.
If you spot all 14 in the Run Report, the prize is nomination as next Hon Sec.

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H5’s first run of 2025 sore a big crowd of Hashers, including a Hash Virgin (Victoria) and a visitor from Germany (Sit and Spin) gathered at the Tolmans Hill Park BBQ area. Yes Please brought along her baby Kangaroo – and when did he grow so tall? Once upon a time, he was shorter than Cracker. A height comparison between Kangaroo and Grizzly proved that, despite Grizzly’s protestations, the spring of youth surpasses Grizzled age.

Hare Arsecutter delivered his chalk talk. The word ‘undulations’ featured heavily. FACT: there was nothing undulating, nothing gentle, about Arsecutter’s trail. If we’re talking waves, think giant killer waves, think tsunami. Arsecutter said the walkers’ trail was about 5kms. FACT: it was over 6kms. Arsecutter said there were checks but no FTs. FACT: The reason for no FTs became obvious on trail. The hare muttered something about being a possible contender for the Most Hated Man in Hash award. Hmm, was this a clue? There was another hint that this run would be a bit out of the ordinary: Arsecutter had felt the need to also set an NDIS trail.

The pack started off along Old Proctors Rd toward Ham Common and skirted the sports fields threw a nice bit of bush. So far, so good. Eveready joined the walkers, making sure that she stuck close to seasoned Hashers, but denied it had anything to do with the fact that she got hopelessly lost on last week’s runners’ trail. The runners quickly disappeared, and it seemed that quiet a few NDIS contenders had stayed behind for the hair’s special instructions. Maybe they had picked up on the chalk talk clues.

Then began the ‘undulations’: a series of killer ups and downs that were repeated over and over again. Arsecutter’s trail could be described as hill-arious.

The bush was scenic and the trail worthy off a photographic record – it was good that both Grizzly and ITR were taking lots of photos and picking up the slack for Hash Flash Pole Dancer, who refuses to believe that his duty statement includes taking photos on trail.

Much of the trail followed the Water Mains Rd. You know it’s steep when a road sign reads: 4×4 Low Only. We arrived at the foot of the towering Ridgeway Reservoir dam (really a ‘Wow!’ moment). Coupla Weeks thought she might climb the damn wall but decided it was too dam high. Trail turned back east, then north, down and up more crazy roller coaster hills, through a ‘Danger, Authorised Personnel Only’ area, until finally leaving the bush for a stroll along Woodcutters Rd back to the On On.

There was sum discussion about whether Arsecutter deserved the title of Most hated Man in Hash, but ITR (the current title holder, despite attempts by Dyke to usurp him) claimed that Arsecutter was way too nice a bloke to receive the award. Some might have disagreed.  Coupla Weeks was heard to mutter that there were better ways to set trail from Tolmans Hill and she was prepared to conduct a master class on how to do so.

Personally, I enjoyed the trail. The terrain was interesting, and most of it was virgin territory for H5 (although it could be said that there’s a good reason for that). It was most definitely a bush run (that’s what summer runs are supposed to be about). And it could be claimed that they weren’t really hills; they were opportunities.

Still, the On On sight was a welcome site after 1.5 hours on trail. Also welcome was the Firemaster 5,000, which encouraged lingering until dark … after a beer (carefully avoiding the Tuns, which are still hanging around like a bad smell), a feed, and a Lip session conducted by indomitable Lips Prawn Star (trying hard to pretend he wasn’t hung over) and Bee’s Dick.

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Arsecutter: hare
• Victoria: Hash virgin
• Sit and Spin: visitor from Germany
• Lone Arranger: playing with knobs: at the On On, pulled up the whole fence instead of the gate
• Rigor Mortis: attracted Security attention by mis-behaving in front of the CCTV camera
• Sonar: went down on trail (uphill) like a European footballer
• Can’t Stop: was at Posh Hash at the Valern Hotel when the cops were called because ‘someone’ exposed themselves
• Grizzly: NFI, something about looking after Hashers who got lost last week.
• Grassroots: presented FRB shirt to Sonar
• Prawn Star (from Stunned Mullet): asked Stunned Mullet to pick him up from Hash but was already there with his car, having left work early for a little sleep following a boozy weekend
• Dyke (from Grizzly): on arriving at Hash, held out his dog’s leash with instructions: ‘Jump into this’. The dog said f#ck off and ran away
• Prickit (from Can’t Stop): threw his perfectly good chicken dinner into the trash
• French Tickler, Lord Limp: c#ntry members
• Bee’s Dick (from Grizzly): last week’s hare (missed out on skol last week as he was out looking for Hashers lost on his trail)
• Snack Bar (from Pole Dancer): loaded rubbish onto the back of his ute; it all blew away on the way to Hash
• MILLSTONE: ITR: 550 runs: this prestigious badge was re-issued, with suitable creaming, following its low-key presentation last week.

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2318

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, (former) most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/