Volume 43, Issue 36 | December 23, 2024

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2318	6 Jan	Hare required
2319	13 Jan	Hare required
2320	20 Jan	Prickit	Cartwright Reserve, Sandy Bay
2321	27 Jan	Rigor Mortis	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2316 REPORT

Before trail, Do Not Resuscitate and Viagra served shots of Drambuie and whiskey to mark the passing of Viagra’s mum in the time-honoured Hash way. Our deep condolences to you both.

I was surprised to see so many Hashers (30-plus) turn up for a run just a couple of days before Christmas, on a day of heavy rain which had scurried around parts of Hobart but by-passed Cascade Gardens and surrounds. Hares Brazilian and Clearfell must have done something right: if not the ritual naked dances to the Incan sun god Inti, at least a song or two to the ancient Rossiyan rain deity Donotpissonya.

It was good to see several c#ntry members, including Dyke and Twinkle Toes. Dyke had obviously graced us with his presence to either (a) research how things are done in a real club, or (b) campaign to be elected as Most Hated Man in Hash for H5 as well as Chardonnay. Although Twinkle Toes was quick to point out that some people are stupid enough to like him, citing herself as Number 1 exhibit. Anyway, ITR is undoubtably H5’s Most Hated Man in Hash and is unlikely to cede the title without a fight.

The walkers’ trail was mainly on streets, heading east past the historic female factory site and onto the Hobart Rivulet track before looping around some South Hobart streets and back to the Cascade Gardens via Cascade Rd. NFI where the runners’ trail went but, according to Brazilian, it was more scenic. This was confirmed by No Balls, a visitor from Adelaide Hash, who enthused about the scenery, old houses, shiggy and switchbacks, claiming that one would pay money to see such a trail in Adelaide. She finished trail with a big grin, asking ‘Where’s the next run?’ Clearfell bravely took full responsibility for the walk while Brazilian accepted accolades for the run.

The only complaint from our visitor was that the trail went past two pubs with no P#ss Stop. This proved no deterrent to anarchists Lone Arranger, Do Not Resuscitate and Grassroots, who finally staggered back to the On On after making their own P#ss Stop at one of those irresistible pubs. Meanwhile, Grizzly, reconciled to his designated driver status, was driven to soberly sipping his mid-strength beer.

The runners dribbled back from their scenic trail some time after the walkers. Bee’s Dick was first, having not paused to take in any of the scenery. Thrill Seeker, in a Hashing first, beat Pole Dancer back (although Thrill Seeker later ruined the effect by admitting that he’d got lost and cut some of the trail). Big Mac and Quarter Pounder came in last from wherever they had been, with the most impressive display of Horn blowing H5 has seen this year. It was rumoured that they were over-excited at finally finding a patch of trail.

Next Week was back in action with the Firemaster 5,000 and very enthusiastic about building up his bonfire, so it took a while for it to die down enough to cook on. For those who were patient enough to wait, the char-seared steaks were delicious. Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick finally moved the skols table from the far-flung corner they had inexplicably set up in and placed it closer to the fire, then proceeded to heap shite on as many people as possible in an entertaining Lip session.

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Brazilian and Clearfell: hares
• Viagra, Do Not Resuscitate, Dyke, Twinkle Toes, Tight Spot, Scary, TicToc: c#ntry members
• Tight Spot: NFI
• Do Not Resuscitate: her name is on display at Dan Murphy’s
• Stunned Mullet: disturbed dead animals in the bush on a private p#ss stop
• Stunned Mullet: took a long drive for a feed of donuts instead of helping at home (although Stunned Mullet’s version of the story paints Prawn Star as the villain)
• Pole Dancer: flirting with little old ladies along the route: ‘I’m your postie for the night’
• Cracker: can’t tell the difference between Organ Grinder and Dishlicker because they look like twins
• TicToc: can’t tell the difference between Grizzly and Snack Bar (although they don’t look like twins)
• Triple K: ignored the can crusher at her elbow to use her foot as a can crusher
• Lone Arranger: happy birthday far queue
• Lone Arranger, Do Not Resuscitate, Grassroots: left trail to go to the pub instead
• Stunned Mullet and Luke: over-use of their wanker phones
• No Balls: visitor from Adelaide
• Dyke (from ITR): pretended to like his mung bean and lentil burger while salivating over the sausages on the bbq
• Quarter Pounder: MILLSTONE: 50 runs
• Big Mac: MILLSTONE: 50 runs (this was awarded last week but became lost property; or else, one twin skols, all twins skol)
• Clearfell: MILLSTONE: 400 runs

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2316

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/