Volume 43, Issue 34 | December 9, 2024

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2316	23 Dec	Brazilian and Clearfell	Cascade Gardens (bottom carpark)
2317	30 Dec	Hare required
2318	6 Jan	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2314 REPORT

Socrates said that the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.

Her Highness Eager’s responses to all questions about her trail suggest she is aiming for true wisdom as defined by Socrates: ‘How long is the walk?’ ‘Don’t know.’ ‘How long is the run?’ ‘Don’t know’ ‘Well, how long will it take to do the run?’ ‘Don’t know.’ Eager’s excuse for this lack of information is that, when she started Hashing, nobody told anyone anything.

Ah well, if we’re talking about Olden Times … once upon a time, an Eager run from Knocklofty Reserve would have set Hashers trembling with fear and trepidation; it would have been a marathon trail going up until it hit the top of the mountain, torches recommended even in summer. ‘Most hated woman in Hash’ wouldn’t have even come close to describing the most common response to her runs.

Tonight, however, the walk turns out to be just a touch over 2kms (about the length of a single leg of the Bruny Island ultra). The run is about 5.5kms. How the high(ness) is fallen! Could it possibly be that Her Highness is getting soft? As Socrates didn’t say, true strength is the courage to admit that you’re getting soft. Or I suppose she could be undercover strong.

The walkers’ trail meanders some of the lower tracks of the Knocklofty Reserve, forming an elongated loop with the outward and inward trails almost within spitting distance. The runners go a bit higher up the hill. There is even an NDIS trail, which is something less than 2kms. Lone Arranger ditches her planned laps of the car park to join Gov’nor Honkers on this.

There are more Checks than you could poke a stick at, and there are plenty of those underfoot. Miss Bling falls victim to the terrain with a broken arm; we wish her a speedy recovery. Grizzly holds the line at a master check where Power Pumper and Chuckie obediently stop, showing that they haven’t picked up any nasty master-check-creeping habits during their northern sojourn. Grizzly takes over ITR’s paparazzi role on trail (and manages some great photos without the martyr whinges we’ve come to expect from ITR).  

It’s a nice bit of bit of bush, just on the outskirts of West Hobart. The return trail takes us past a plaque inviting passersby to admire the view from the spot where John Glover painted one of Australia’s earliest paintings (not many Hashers accept the invitation).

It’s cold back at the On On. Does shivering count as exercise? Next Week is here without the Firemaster 5,000, claiming it’s not cold enough for a fire as he shivers into his jacket. Contessa Coupla Weeks tries, unsuccessfully, to issue orders to Dishlicker, claiming that she’s above the riff-raff of untitled Hashers (in Fact, the only Hashers she’s above are Her Highness Eager and Cracker). Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick preside over an entertaining Lip session, with photographic evidence provided by Grizzly. Why is Grizzly taking photos instead of the Hash Flash? Pole Dancer claims a spot of Hash mis-communication led to his belief that he has the night off. Socrates has nothing to say to this.

On On – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Her Highness Eager: hare
• Thrill Seeker (wha?): lost property (his grail); the guilty parties claimed that Vivyan stole it
• Chuckie, Power Pumper, Can’t Stop, Stunned Mullet: c#ntry members
• Stunned Mullet: crashed a truck into a fence during army driving training but passed the test anyway
• Stunned Mullet: another media appearance without wearing Hash gear
• Stunned Mullet: celebrated hard after passing his army driving course; Prawn Star had to pick up his wallet and shoes the next day
• Lord Limp: led Just Kidding astray with wrong directions
• Just Kidding: went for an icecream on Bruny Island, tried to prie the fly screen off the wall to get into the shop when the door was already open
• Eveready: boasted that she was first back at last week’s run
• Her Highness Eager: received official proof that she has an odd brain (but we all knew that)
• Lord Limp: practicing to become Hash Hops by putting his beer on the bbq to keep warm
• Lord Limp: celebrating his 5th grandchild
• Cracker: disturbed the wildlife with a p#ss stop
• Gov’nor Honkers: happy birthday far queue
• Contessa Coupla Weeks: reported Ratu Steady Eddie recovering well with his new bionic knee
• Pole Dancer: abdicated his Hash Flash duties, claiming he thought Gov’nor Honkers was taking photos
• Gov’nor Honkers: (allegedly) leading Pole Dancer astray over photo taking
• Eveready: has joined the Sir Eve school of run counting: claims 75 runs in 6 months
• Eveready: happy birthday far queue
• Yes Please: MILLSTONE: 650 runs (awarded before the run due to Yes Please’s propensity to p#ss off after the run)
• Cans Crusher: NAMING: the Hasher formerly known as Esther will henceforth be known as Cans Crusher

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A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2314

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/