Volume 43, Issue 33 | December 2, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2315	16 Dec	New Sydney	ITR Christmas run
2316	23 Dec	Brazilian and Clearfell	Cascade Gardens (bottom carpark)
2317	30 Dec	Hare required
2318	6 Jan	Hare required

---

---

UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

---

RUN 2313 REPORT

Following Grizzly’s attempted return to anarchy by replacing Facts with Bullshite in last week’s H5 Trash, readers will no doubt be relieved to know that the Trash is once more restored to reporting nothing but Facts!

Fact: this was a Cracker of a run: definitely run of the week, run of the month (so far) and contender for run of the year. And the weather was Cracker: in the words of Gov’nor Honkers, the best weather in years for a Hash run. Some might think this was pure luck, but not so: the outstanding meteorological conditions were the direct result of the hare’s dances to the Incan sun god Inti, not to mention the sacrifice of setting trail in 28 degrees heat (which was way preferable to sacrificing one of Contessa Coupla Week’s road-side cocks).

Coningham Beach is lovely: white sand, tranquil water, iconic boat sheds. Her Highness Eager was first to arrive, keen to book her Bag Lady accommodation for the night. Grizzly and Lone Arranger were early after their odyssey from the remote wilderness of Old Beach, having stopped on the way to stock up on supplies in case the Old Beach border guards denied their re-entry.

Viagra arrived with Vyvyan. He thought Cracker might set up the BBQ, before remembering that it was secret men’s business. There followed some argument between ITR and Lone Arranger about the positioning of said BBQ, with ITR wanting the romance of the beach and Lone Arranger wanting the practicality of tables and toilet in the carpark. Lone Arranger won (so much for the power of secret men’s business).

Ratu Steady Eddie was keen for trail, announcing he had only two days to go until his new knee and a planned come-back to his former glory days (very former; Ratu’s glory days lie far beyond the memory of all but Ratu).

Snack Bar, arriving in a flurry of dust and another demonstration of his unique driving style, caused a rapid evacuation, with Hashers scrambling to get out of the way. He did manage to miss Vyvyan by a centimetre or two.

About 36 Hashers set out on trail, following the coastal track to the left before looping back for a short stint along the road and then up into the bush of the Coningham Nature Recreation Area. Ah, bush trails in summer are such a delight!

Grizzly was inspired by the views and ITR’s paparazzi antics to take some photos, including a classic of ITR trying to hide behind Contessa Coupla Weeks. This was no more successful than Grizzly’s recent attempt to hide behind Cracker. It’s a Fact that self-delusion at such an advanced stage can’t be moved by Facts.

Trail contoured around the slopes of Sheppards Hill until the one and only (and very well marked) runners/walkers split. Cracker generously resisted the temptation to take the runners to the top of Sheppards Hill, instead continuing to contour around the slope until turning toward the coast at Snug Point. Here, the hare’s huge ‘Cave Stop’ sign invited Hashers to pause and admire the cave. Runners then followed the picturesque coastal track, with views out to a tranquil North West Bay, back to the On On. The walkers, meanwhile, meandered downhill through some cunning bush trails to join the runners’ trail on the coastal track for a short stroll back to the beach.

Bee’s Dick and Magic Touch arrived after the pack had left. The Burger Boys arrived even later (surprise!) at 6.45. Thrill Seeker arrived at 6.46, claiming to have spent all night looking for a lighthouse where he could deliver his purloined Bruny Island run baton; by the time he had put on his make-up and arranged his hair, he departed at 6.50. At least he left his car unlocked (and keys in the ignition) so that thirsty Hashers could get to the beer. No danger of someone stealing his car; the beer was worth more than the vehicle.

Everyone made it back to the On On. Really, Cracker had marked trail with so many arrows that it was impossible for the latecomers, or even Pole Dancer, to get lost. The area was virgin territory for many Hashers, something that always makes a hare’s heart glad. Triple K’s summary was that it was a good trail and there were plenty of roots out there; she came back with a smile on her face.

The bravest of Hashers – French Tickler, ITR, Pole Dancer, Limp, Prawn Star – terrorised the locals by cooling off with a swim. Bee’s Dick and Prawn Star conducted a stirring Lip session, with many references to the Bruny Island run (what happened to ‘what happens on Bruny stays on Bruny’?). The Inti induced weather inspired lingering until dark.

On! On! – Cracker

---

SKOLS

• Cracker: hare
• Esther (2nd H5 run), Silent But Deadly, E Route, French Tickler, Astoria Winky Farter, Tinky Winky (aka Baby Bling): c#ntry members
• Sonar: failed BBQ operation, gave Grizzly a brazilian by fire
• Thrill Seeker, Prawn Star, Cracker, Contessa Coupla Weeks, Eveready, Organ Grinder: awesome effort at Bruny Island run; Thrill Seeker finally brought in the baton
• Ratu Steady Eddie: performed first aid to save neighbour
• Ratu Steady Eddie: couldn’t make the Bruny Island run because he was required by his bowls team, which then failed dismally
• Bee’s Dick: offered his sausages around, but couldn’t give them away
• Magic Touch: on again/off again response to Bruny Island run, then didn’t make it
• Magic Touch (from Pole Dancer): chose Bee’s Dick instead of Pole Dancer for a lift to Hash, resulting in late arrival
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder: lost property (the horn; not a good look for the Hash Horns)
• ITR: happy birthday far queu
• Snack Bar and Sonar (from Pole Dancer): led Pole Dancer astray by getting lost on the way to Coningham
• Contessa Coupla Weeks (from Her Highness Eager): has done a great job with photographic records of the Bruny Island run over the last four years
• French Tickler: Got a beer for herself to take swimming, didn’t share with the other swimmers
• Lord Limp (from Pole Dancer): failed to wear H5 FRB shirt for high-vis at Bruny Island run
• Snack Bar (from Lord Limp): fell asleep in the car at the Bruny Island run, missed baton change-over, then his team finished at the pub instead of the lighthouse
• GRASSROOTS: MILLSTONE: 150 RUNS

---

A Combined Hash Run will be held on the occasion of the 124th Bream Creek Show

** ENJOY A HASH RUN FROM THE SHOWGROUNDS **

DATE: Saturday, 15th March 2025

VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping

START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road (near Townsend Lane) above the main car park at the Showgrounds

HARES: Moses (Dumb); Argue (Dumber) & Grasshopper (Dumbless)

---

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2313

---

DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

---

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

---

Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/