Volume 43, Issue 31 | November 18, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2313	2 Dec	Cracker	Coningham Beach
2314	9 Dec	Eager	Knocklofty Reserve, Forest Rd
2315	16 Dec	New Sydney	ITR Christmas run
2316	23 Dec	Brazilian and Clearfell	Cascade Gardens (bottom carpark)
2317	30 Dec	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING
25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2311 REPORT

A highly anticipated run, set from the Grizzwalds’ new home suburb, now they’ve deserted the salubrious south for the nefarious north. The hare was weary after his live-hare-in-the-rain effort at Full Moon the day before. At this rate, he’ll be rivalling ITR for the title of resident H5 Martyr. Lone Arranger, asked whether she had helped set trail, replied no, she had been too busy buying extra flour for Grizzly’s large and artistic arrows.

Grizzly issued run instructions: there was a runners’ trail; there was a walkers’ trail; try not to lose Cracker in the long grass; sweep long grass before Miss Bling so that she stays on her feet; NDIS members should stay behind for ‘special’ instructions.

Trail turned west from Lennox Park, along Jetty Rd toward Ferry Point.  A bit of history: it was here that the very first trans-Derwent ferry service was established in 1816 by cousins John Earle and James Austin, after they’d served their time in Van Diemen’s Land for the measly crime of stealing a few beehives back in the Old Country. Ah, those of us lucky enough to have convict heritage really are Tassie Royalty!

Trail then turned east, following the riverside track, detouring at one point away from the river along Fouche Ave, adding distance and variety, before returning to the riverside. Scenic was the word: the water was calm, the salt marsh vibrant with grasses and pools, the sky broodily atmospheric, there were black swans and ducks and countless water birds, wildflowers were blooming everywhere. Some of these flowers were not native, including the briar roses which grew profusely, and which Gov’nor Honkers told me were called dog roses back in the Old Country. And the smell – you’ve gotta love the smell of Springtime!

Her Highness Eager, Triple K and Rigor Mortis were engaged in some serious power walking, but still managed to burn more calories squawking than walking. They falsely accused Cracker of short-cutting on a pink scooter, when there is clear evidence that the culprit was, in Fact, Just Kidding. We passed some of the NDIS brigade: Miss Bling, accompanied by Visitor Maid Marian, had managed to stay upright, while Mr Bean had gone down – he claimed, improbably, that it was while he was following an FT. Ratu Steady Eddie was promenading with his carer, Steptoe – I attempted to say g’day on the way past, but couldn’t break through the stream of Ratu’s stories. ITR was in Martyr Mode, whinging about how exhausting it was to run around taking photos on trail. He claimed his masterpiece to be ‘Two Ducks and Two Old Ducks’ (below).

Near the end of Cassidys Bay, trail looped around to follow the highway back to the On On. The runners were seen heading off along the highway in the opposite direction – suckers!

The walkers’ trail was 4.2kms, with a total ascent of 58m – yet again, a Flat Earthers’ dream. The runners’ trail was reputed to be something under 8kms. Everyone finally found their way back to Lennox Park, even Thrill Seeker, who arrived – surprise – last. Pole Dancer, Bee’s Dick and Eveready, in sight of the On On, were seen running in circles, scratching their heads and wondering where trail could possibly go. The ‘You’re stupid’ song was obviously invented for them. Spoof, looking exhausted and telling anyone who politely asked how he was to go fark themselves, claimed his 4.2kms was a marathon; he’s obviously spent too much time with the H4 geriatrics.

Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick, with a bit of prodding, finally launched into a suitably entertaining Lip session. Visitor Maid Marian (from Newcastle way) knew most of our songs; she could have taught Spoof’s boring H4 compatriots a thing or two. Fact!

On! On! – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Grizzly: hare
• Sonar, Steptoe, Ted Bullpit: c#ntry members
• Maid Marian (from near Newcastle), Tuppa: visitors
• Eager, Limp: racists (Point to Pinnacle)
• TopDek, Grassroots: were too pissed to be racists
• TopDek: One job, to tick off names as Hashers pay, but got it wrong
• Mr Bean, Miss Bling: Mr Bean went down on trail; Miss Bling is rumoured to have pushed him
• Spoof: new shoes
• Thrill Seeker, Ratu Steady Eddie: encouragement skol: having been castigated for their performance as Hash Hops, are slowly improving but not there yet
• Arsecutter: tried to kill his helpless little dog by tying her to a gatepost and leaving her to strangle
• Contessa Coupla Weeks (from ITR): did a dummy spit because nobody told her about unauthorised changes to her Bruny Island run team
• Prawn Star (from Just Kidding): provided cups with holes at the On On
• Cracker (from Grizzly): a false charge about heading for the bush instead of the toilet block
• Mr Bean, Miss Bling: MILLSTONE: 50 RUNS EACH
• Pole Dancer: MILLSTONE: 900 RUNS

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2311

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/