Volume 43, Issue 30 | November 11, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2312	25 Nov	Ted Bullpit	Lauderdale Canal (beach end)
2313	2 Dec	Cracker	Coningham Beach
2314	9 Dec	Eager	Knocklofty Reserve, Forest Rd
2315	16 Dec	New Sydney	ITR Christmas run
2316	23 Dec	Brazilian and Clearfell	Cascade Gardens (bottom carpark)
2317	30 Dec	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING
25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2310 REPORT

A Belbins Rd trail without calf-cramping hills? Without giant, Hasher-devouring mosquitoes? Had we slipped into an alternative universe? No, just a carefully crafted Next Week trail. There had been no need for Lone Arranger to boycott the run in memory of previous experiences. There had been no need for Bad News to travel as far as Scotland to avoid the run. Although Bad News was keen to be with us in spirit, as illustrated by his photo below.

We gathered in the large parking area that had previously, according to Just Kidding, been a wee spot. Hashers now in need of a discreet spot must wander further into the surrounding bushes to multiple calls of, ‘Where ya goin’?’ Thrill Seeker once again arrived early; this is becoming such a common Fact that it’s no longer news-worthy, but still lends a feeling of the universe being a bit out of balance. Ratu Steady Eddie entered with his normal attempt at a feebly sleazy joke – something about one size fitting all. Rigor Mortis was ably dispensing insults as she collected run fees. Big Bang and Just Kidding, having been lost on previous Belbins Rd trails, were reassured by the sight of a helicopter, obviously hovering just in case a rescue mission was needed. However, this wasn’t enough for Big Bang, who chained himself to Coupla Weeks, Contessa of Navigation, to ensure his survival.

Finally … at long last … Next Week had brought along the Firemaster 5,000. Congratulations to Next Week for (finally … at long last) picking up on the subtle hints in previous Trashes about Hashers freezing their butts off in its absence.

Next Week’s trail instructions included the promise of bush and birds, with beer and bbq to follow. He also mentioned that he’d sort of hidden some of the trail markings to hide the fact that the outward and inward trails were close to each other.

This was true: we found cute trail arrows sitting in excavated ant hills behind craftily erected barriers of sticks and stones. And the return trail passing a couple of metres away. Still, trail was easy to follow – not even Just Kidding and Big Bang could possibly get lost. There was bush. There were birds. It was flat. Fact! The walkers’ trail was just under 4kms. The runners must have done several clever loops as they passed the walkers from time to time.

ITR risked life and limb (and knees and hamstrings and ankles) running through the bush to capture photos on trail. Grizzly was less than enthusiastic about having his photo taken and went to great lengths to avoid the ITR-paparazzi. However, Grizzly’s efforts to hide behind trees, a rock, and even  Cracker proved to be tactical errors, as attested by the resulting photo spread. Nice try, Grizzly!

Ratu Steady Eddie, repository of all sorts of archaic Facts, alerted me to some interesting history. At the end of Belbins Rd during World War II, in the area known as Stringy Bark Gully, or Airforce Gully, or Redgate, was a top-secret bomb store. We passed some remaining foundations along trail. Those Hashers who are also members of the Hobart Walking Club can read the story in that club’s Tasmanian Tramp No. 40 from 2014.

Back at the On On, Next Week had the Fire-master 5,000 blazing. Such a welcome sight! Some of the beer was reputedly not as salubrious as the fire, with some suggestions that Hash Hops Thrill Seeker and Ratu Steady Eddie should be forced to skol lots of Tun every week until it was all gone. Prawn Star and Bee’s Dick concluded a rowdy Lip session with a minute’s silence to mark Remembrance Day. Then, in contrast to the rapid departure of shivering Hashers in previous weeks, we lingered around the glowing embers of the fire.

On! On! – Cracker

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SKOLS

• Next Week: hare
• Big Bang, TopDek, Arsecutter, Grassroots, Just Kidding: country members
• Big Bang: because he got lost last time he was on a Belbins Rd trail, this time chained himself to Contessa Coupla Weeks to survive
• Raina (Eveready’s mum): Hash Virgin
• Just Kidding: got ready for work before realising it was Saturday, so no work
• Eveready: proudly told her family that she was following in her dad’s steps as a Hasher, only to be told that her dad drove in Variety Bash events and was never a Hasher
• Grizzly: tried to avoid the ITR-paparazzi by hiding behind Cracker
• Lord Limp: aka Scrooge: won free tickets for the Point to Pinnacle
• Prawn Star: said he couldn’t reduce the size of his meat
• Contessa Coupla Weeks: talking on the radio about picking up stray cocks along the highway (this was already a skol a coupla weeks ago, as Prawn Star would have known if he cum more often)
• DNR: heard to say she can’t get it up (we all thought that was Viagra’s job)
• Prawn Star (from Her Highness Eager): rivalling Honker’s ‘uncle’ status by bringing to Hash a series of ‘nieces’
• Prawn Star (from ITR): introduced elaborate security for his skols notebook: a Sussan bag
• Grizzly: lost property (a torch)
• Her Highness Eager (from Thrill Seeker): geographically challenged, thought she was in Paradise
• Sir Eve (self-reported): a motor bike mishap
• Her Highness Eager: MILLSTONE: 1,250 RUNS (get a life!)

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2310

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/