Volume 43, Issue 29 | November 4, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2311	18 November	Grizzly	TBA
2312	25 November	Ted Bullpit	Lauderdale Canal (beach end)
2313	2 December	Cracker	Coningham Beach
2314	9 December	Hare required
2315	16 December	New Sydney	ITR Christmas run
2316	23 December	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING
25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2309 REPORT

ED note: deja poo: the feeling that you’ve heard all this shite before.

On trail, I was starting to write a run report in my head, as is my wont, when it occurred to me that my musings seemed familiar. So I looked back to ITR’s report of the last H4 joint run and the revelation came: there’s a certain sameness to all H4 joint runs, therefore their run reports are interchangeable. So here it is: a slightly revamped report of the H4 joint run of 24 June 2024, updated to reflect the H4 joint run of 4 November 2024. ED

It is quite frightening to have a look at your possible future. There I was, happy as Larry with my lot in life. That was until I walked into the Royal Yacht Club for the combined clubs run in support of Motor Neurone Disease Tas.

For a moment, I thought I was in the wrong place. Had a bunch of demented old codgers escaped from a nursing home? Surely, this can’t be a Hash run?  None of these old buggers can move, let alone run. What had happened? Had I inadvertently stumbled into a geriatric bingo night or a wheelie walker rally? Sadly, no. Spying Rigor Mortis, who had set up as Hash Cash in the main thoroughfare to catch H5 hashers on the way in, I realized that I was in the correct place and that the RYCT was full of ancient, decrepit and enfeebled Hashers. Well, that’s H4 for you. I shuddered with the thought that maybe this is the future for H5. Fark I hope not, I doubt it, fark it better not!

I threaded my way through the throng, carefully avoiding pools of drool, wheelie walkers and discarded incontinence pads, seeking some fellow H5 Hashers.

Thrill Seeker arrived 17 minutes early, throwing H5 Hashers into total confusion; he later decided that he won’t do that again, as he peaked too early. Arse Angel, who states that he doesn’t walk, he hashes, was proudly spruiking his new Hash name. Hmm, maybe it’s not only the H4 Hashers who are demented.

Now, some might think Bad News as subtle as a brick through a window. But he was a picture of subtlety tonight, wearing his Doddie Weir tartan socks in support of the fundraising theme. Doddie Weir was a Scottish rugby union player who succumbed to MND; after diagnosis, he set up a foundation to raise funds for MND, and designed the tartan featuring colours from the teams he had played for. The things you learn on a Hash run!

Scrambles interrupted the general chit chat to give some meaningless trail instructions: the walk was that long (holding up two hands) and the run was that long (holding up two hands) and anyone who wasn’t native to Hobart should stay behind for special instructions.

In fact, the walk was a short 3kms around Sandy Bay and the run was a long 9kms – nothing in between. Well, that’s H4 for you. Several H5 walkers did a hashed version of the run, clocking up about 5 or 6 kms. Bee’s Dick, who did the full 9kms, reported that there was only one H4 runner, concluding with the surprising fact that they don’t have many runners, do they? Refer to the earlier nursing home comments.

Back at the On On, H4 had the BBQ cracking and plenty of booze on hand. I must say, the old boys do cater well. There was a total of about 70 Hashers, including 27 from H5, so numbers were well down on the last joint run.

Poonce handed over a cheque for $2,500 to the MND rep, supplemented by a further $600 that Fuggles had collected in a bucket: a worthy donation to a worthy cause.

The H4 Lip then announced that there would be a very short Lip session (presumably because H4 bedtime was nearing). H5 dominated the singing, while H4 belted out their one and only song a couple of times. H5’s club song was sung with gusto. And then, as if a silent recall alarm had gone off in their pacemakers, H4, to a man, shuffled and wheezed off out the door and were gone. Back to the nursing home, I suspect. No announcements, no next week’s run, no club song, nothing.

On On – ITR/Cracker

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SKOLS

• Thril Seeker: arrived 17 minutes early and created chaos by upsettting all H5 expectations
• Rigor Mortis: taking photos along the rivulet of a platypus, which she referred to as her beaver
• Sir Eve: apparently likes a strap-on (somehow related to a story about Arse Angel, but I missed the point)
• Her Highness Eager: refuses to call Arse Angel by his name; substitutes Bum Angel to avoid saying a naughty word
• Bee’s Dick and Big Mac: stayed in a hotel next to a massage place called Vigorous Thai Therapy; came home broke
• Bad News: far cough yak hunt (going back to Scotland)
• Prickle Do (from Lord Limp): lost property: Prickle Do returned a Bruny Island race sign that he had stolen after his solo last year; also presented a carry bag made for the perpetual trophy

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2309

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TALKING POINT: VIVIAN – FROM ITR

Our trailer,Vivian, is well and truly into middle age and showing it.  Her body is not what it once was and is in need of repair.  Rust is spreading in the floor and chassis.  What the club has to decide is this:  

• Do we spend money on a repair and refurbishment of Vivian or,
• Do we source a new purpose built trailer.

Either way, the club is likely to spend several thousand dollars. The proposed time for either option will be next winter.

I have asked the Hashet managers, Viagra and Next Week, to come up with some ideas. 

Vivian and/or its descendant have played and will play an important part in the club culture. 

I am all for getting a new purpose built trailer that has more storage space and is easier to tow.  Having said that, I would like  to hear any ideas that club members have. To that end, email me at: intheraw9@gmail.com.

When a decision is to be made on repair/refurbishment or replacement, the club will be asked what the preferred option is.

I luvs ya all, well most of youse anyway.

ITR

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/