Volume 43, Issue 28 | October 28, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2310	11 November	Hare required
2311	18 November	Hare required
2312	25 November	Ted Bullpit	Lauderdale Canal (beach end)
2313	2 December	Cracker	Coningham Beach
2314	9 December	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING
25 December 2024 | Christmas Day Hash, Legacy Park, Domain
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2308 REPORT

Author – Appreciative Hasher who wishes to remain Anonymous.

Still languid and lethargic post-Covid, Cracker nevertheless displayed a level of martyrdom equalling any displayed by ITR, H5’s resident martyr, to set a Cracker of a trail. Hashers gathered in the superb shelter of Hut 1, Dru Point. In accordance with the Halloween theme, many were resplendent in ghoulish attire. Worthy of note were Cracker and Lone Arranger as stylish sorceresses, Grizzly with a light-up face mask (some might say a vast improvement in his appearance), Clearfell looking skeletal and Coupla Weeks as a blood-soaked convict.  Some (most notably the Burger Boys and Stunned Mullet) had decided that they didn’t need to dress up as they were ghoulish enough just as they were. Bad News and Wee Willie Winkie claimed to have left their costumes on the kitchen bench. Sure! The air was full of the cackling of witches (in Fact, Triple K and Rigor Mortis in normal conversation) and the smell of brimstone (in Fact, Grizzly and the egg pies he ate for breakfast).

Cracker drew herself to full height and issued Run instructions, then the pack set off left along the Dru Point tracks. An FT toward the water soon slowed the FRBs for a while. Back on trail for a short stint on Beach Rd, then a nice little diversion through back streets avoided the rest of the main drag until crossing it to proceed toward the Channel Highway. The rustic nature of Margate’s back streets has certainly changed lately, with lots of dinky new houses. The residents mostly stayed inside their dinky houses to avoid the scary and strange apparitions roaming their streets (including Grizzly, who thought Leo’s dump was an example of modern art).

At the highway came the promised runners/walkers split. The runners crossed the highway and skirted the church and graveyard, where groping, skeletal fingers tried to grasp them as they passed (this really is a bad habit of yours, Prawn Star, and one you should try to overcome). The runners continued through the oval and then along the Margate Tramway Track. This follows part of the original tramway taking coal from a mine at Kaoota to a now-gone jetty at the end of Gemalla Rd, but Pole Dancer and Bee’s Dick were running far too fast to notice any historical remnants (and they had no chance of spotting H5’s own historical remnant, Thrill Seeker, who started late and shuffled along well behind the peloton). The Burger Boys lost trail (an astonishing feat, given the plethora of markings) and ended up taller due to the cow pats stuck to their shoes. The runners looped back to the highway, down Gemalla Rd, and followed some back streets to the Esplanade and a scenic water-front run back Home.

Meanwhile, the walkers followed the highway for a short while before heading down Incana Rd, via a couple of sneaky FTs, then a nice little walkway to the Esplanade and On Home, all at a leisurely pace to enjoy the views. Ratu Steady Eddie took hash Virgin Davin under his wing; Davin learned a great many interesting Facts about the history of Margate and the history of Ratu as they strolled along, occasionally catching glimpses of the other walkers in the distance. Prawn Star, ever caring and empathetic, paused to offer Ratu some encouragement: ‘You’ll all be dead before reaching the On On if you don’t hurry up’.

Cracker was waiting at Hut 1 with the world’s best Halloween sangría, complete with scary eyeballs. A couple of brews from Sir Eve added to the interest of drinks on offer. With 6.87 kms for the runners and 4.56 kms for the walkers, this trail had it all: negligible height gain to keep the Flat Earthers happy, clear markings, historical interest, scenery, shelter from the elements at the On On. Just what you’d expect from Cracker – what a legend!

On On – Anonymous

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SKOLS

• Cracker: hare
• Cracker (from Lone Arranger): minding the On On while the pack was out on trail, LA rescued her from a random and persistent ‘real person’ who wanted to hang about
• Davin: Hash Virgin
• Grizzly: NFI (I went to get my notebook at this point)
• Thrill Seeker: media appearance, no Hash gear
• Thrill Seeker: outstanding driving skills: touch-parked his car by reversing into Vivian
• Contessa Coupla Weeks: Tried to pay Hash Cash $5 – hasn’t yet realised we’re into summer runs (and she’s not even a blonde)
• Rigor Mortis: taking harassment to a new level in getting Bee’s Dick to pay
• Stunned Mullet: while what happens at Oktoberfest stays at Oktoberfest, his quote of the week-end (‘At least I’ve got a dick’) just has to be shared
• Lone Arranger: in her new house, is keen to christian all the rooms, but had trouble getting to the knob
• Thrill Seeker (from ITR): Hash Hops esky failures: left ITR with non alocholic beers. WTF?
• Grizzly (from ITR): had some logistical problems gathering Leo’s dump on trail
• Honkers (from Grizzly): brought his frugal once-a-week steak to cook on the Firemaster-5,000 but had to cook it on the bbq as there was no Firemaster (again, Next Week – shame on you!)
• Lone Arranger and Prawn Star (from Coupla Weeks): not using Hash names to address Hashers
• Arse Angel: NAMING: Gabriel, having completed three H5 trails, will henceforth be known as Arse Angel
• Grizzly: MILLSTONE: 750 runs. The badge was presented by GM Clearfell with eloquent references to Grizzly’s enormous contributions to the club

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2308

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/