Volume 43, Issue 27 | October 21, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2309	4 November	H4	Joint charity run, Royal Yacht Club
2310	11 November	Hare required
2311	18 November	Hare required
2312	25 November	Ted Bullpit	Cremorne Canal
2313	2 December	Cracker	Coningham Beach
2314	9 December	Hare required

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UP AND CUMMING
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN 2307 REPORT

Rocking up to Hash, the first thing I see is Spoof, very smoothly nipping Brazilian and Clearfell in the bud for a parking spot.

Her Highness Eager and Triple K, recovered from the weekend, with Her Highness Eager’s head still in the clouds after winning the Gluhwein competition. Triple K said “someone” from Bicheno bought a tattslotto ticket and won $1.26 million, AND it wasn’t her!! BUGGER! No hangovers, but lots of giggles and smiles. Although smiling, Sir Eve was moaning and groaning because his knees were sore, ankles going over and the best thing he could do for Full Moon Hash, was to cut the trail short. Ratu Steady Eddy is getting a new knee come 4 December, watch out runners! To save for his op, he went to the Margate Museum, free entry. 

Lord Limp is in fine form, but wants us to hold hands?? Thank heavens, down the track, we can disengage because of body odor! Runners and walkers will split and come together later. On On to the words of “Don’t cheat, because you will only cheat yourselves.”

Prickit was sauntering at the back, but has put on a spurt, passing the more sedate walkers. Sir Eve has recovered to lead the pack with Grizzly, In The Raw, and Triple K following. An MC, with Prickit checking down the road, Grizzly up the road, Bad News heading west, and even Spoof is going to check. And Prickit won the lottery. (I assume this doesn’t refer to the afore-mentioned $1.26 million lottery. ED.) And there is the runner/walker split. On we go, along the Soldiers Walk with the walkers joining the runners at the memorial of Soldier #358, Pte Walter Hutton, died 3/1/1917 on Broondseinde Ridge. 

Lost trail? Sir Eve going up the hill, but not the way to go, On On up the stairs. No piss stop tonight!  In The Raw says, “It’s most annoying! It keeps you on trail, if you have a piss stop!”  Triple K out front,going up the hill, oops an MC, but Triple K is calling On On before the rest of us read the MC!  

The trail took us down to the road, only to turn about and come back up! Prickit is in pretty good form talking to Bad News, singing his praises for the food on Saturday night at Bicheno. FT! Didn’t have to look far, because standing there, we could see a white spot further up the track. At the top of the hill and I think Prickit has finally run out of words! That was a lot of praising!

Scenic Lookout. We can just make out Next Week’s house behind the smoke from the Zinc Works. In The Raw enthusiastically herded his disciples for a photoshoot overlooking the Derwent and the Zinc Works. Brazilian and Snack Bar running up behind the walkers with Rigor Mortis trying to keep up. But, Grizzly has other ideas by moving in front of Rigor Mortis anticipating her every move. 

Triple K is giggling, remembering and talking about a condom at this very spot. Mmmmm? Actually, it was a past trail, that Triple K found a full condom and vividly remembers it. But she can’t find anyone to collaborate it.

Starting trail downhill but where’s Grizzly? Oh, yes, hashing bastard! Along with his pal Spoof … and Sir Eve. I’ve never seen so much hashing! Even Kangaroo, Triple K, Clearfell, Grassroots, In The Raw (but you would expect that!), Sir Eve was all for giving him credit because he worked hard over the weekend. There’s Bee’s Dick coming towards us off the oval. Next Week and Prickit were hit by a dog’s ball thrown by the dog owner. He said he was sorry, but I have never seen such a big smile or heard such a big laugh!  

Back at the On On, Sir Eve pointing out a little bandicoot. Up at the BBQ, there’s Bee’s Dick. What’s he doing back? It is a long, hard story, he will be giving himself a proxy skull.  Here comes Quarter Pounder, looking very hot and breathless, with Prawn Star looking rather weary, along with Susie, Pole Dancer, Eveready and all coming in from different directions. Guess that’s because they got lost. The last one to arrive is Big Mac looking hot and flustered. 

Wee Willie Winkie is packaging up party bags of meat left over from the weekend. It was a very warm night, but Next Week brought the fire pot which Grizzly took full advantage of to warm his back side as well as Ratu Steady Eddy and Triple K.   

Ratu Steady Eddy had a new, very interested audience tonight. Gabriel learnt a lot about the Soldiers Walk, Steady’s fallen relatives, and the work Steady has done there. 

Thanks Lord Limp. Appreciate the effort in setting a well set out trail. Well done

On On – Contessa Coupla Weeks

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SKOLS

• Lord Limp: hare: didn’t matter where you hashed, you came upon an arrow (lots of cheats!), good length, enough FTs and photoshoot to keep everyone together, not too hilly. Runners got lost
• Ted Bull Pit,  Thrillseeker (he was there last week!)  c#ntry members
• Susie: Virgin, left Eveready behind, but not Pole Dancer!
• Steady Eddy (no title) and Thrill Seeker: for providing shit beer
• Thrill Seeker: had a little “rest” on trail
• Thrill Seeker and Rigor Mortis:  lost keys
• Next Week and Miss Bing: George? Bob?  Hash names only!
• Pole Dancer poxy skol for Snack Bar: reversed into a pole
• MOP: how did everyone go at “The Fling” over the weekend
• Big Mac and Bee’s Dick: invested in H5 shirt, looks like Friends shirt, going to get beaten up as a Friends kid as well as prosecutor. 
• Bee’s Dick and Thrill Seeker: trying to run with a 7inch turd. Thrill Seeker trying to tell him, trail this way!
• Grassroots, Arsecutter, TopDek, Prickit, Can’t Stop, Brazilian, Hands On: cruising
• Grizzly: (from ITR) didn’t get the time right for Oktoberfest, consequently, weekend at home
• Eager: (from Lord Limp) had a go at a couple of girls for having a potty mouth and she sings H5 songs!
• Eager: (from Rigor Mortis) Spoof’s jacket
• Lone Arranger: (from Grizzly) didn’t give much thought to buying drinks outside the lounge at the airport. Too expensive. 

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2307

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DOWN DOWN SONGS

Anyone who has experienced an H4 Circle will have experienced the boredom of endlessly repeating one song. One song only! In H5, we have a salubrious collection to choose from. Not only but also, a select few H5 Hashers have their very own Down Down songs. So LEARN them, you lazy b#####ds. So then you can SING them. LOUDLY. OFTEN.

GRIZZLY’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go down to the Hash today you’re sure of a big surprise,
A Grizzly bear is fartin’ there ‘cause he ate all the pies,
His pants are brown, the smell makes him frown,
He is a happy, Hashin’ clown,
Today’s the day that Grizzly Bear has to down down ….

Gov’nor HONKERS’ DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Dad’s Army theme song
Why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers, is it something you have done?
When you blast our ears with a call of HASH HUSH!
We’ll clean your arse with a barbed wire toilet brush!
So why do you think you are skolling Gov’na Honkers? Drink it down, your time has come!

IN THE RAW’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of Geelong Cats Song
He’s In The Raw, most hated man of all.
He’s in the Raw, he’s only got one ball.
He cannot run, and that is no surprise,
‘Cos he ate all the pies!
He’s ugly as a pug, and half as smart,
And all he does is fart …

Ratu STEADY EDDIE’S DOWN DOWN SONG

To the tune of My old Man’s a Dustman
Oh, good old Steady Eddie,
He always wears a hat,
He sticks his hand upon his hip
And he dislocates his back.

Oh, when he wears a beret
He looks just like a clown.
He’s always doing something wrong
And he has to drink it down, down, down, down …

THRILL SEEKER’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of Greased Lightning
Go Thrill Seeker, he’s faster than a speeding snail,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
Go, Thrill Seeker, he shuffles over hill and dale,
(Thrill Seeker, go Thrill Seeker)
From socks of red, to wiry head,
He’s Thrill Seeker,
Go-go-go-go-go
(with syncopated clapping)
Down-down-down-down-down …

JUST KIDDING’S DOWN DOWN SONG
To the tune of the ‘Greenacres’ theme song
Just Kidding is a blonde you see,
Deep thinkn’ she says is not for me,
She just adores a beer or two,
But give her too many and she’s probably gonna spew!
Down, down, down-down-down-down-down …

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/