Volume 43, Issue 8 | June 10, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2287	24 June	Combined clubs charity run	Royal Yacht Club of Tas
2288	1 July	Pole Dancer Theme: Footy Colours	Moonah Hotel
2289	8 July	Hare needed
2290	15 July	Grassroots	Workers Club, Hobart

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UP AND CUMMING

24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of gynaecological cancer research, Royal Yacht Club of Tasmania, Marieville Esplanade, Sandy Bay
19-20 October | H5 Oktoberfest @ TBA
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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RUN REPORT

Historians believe that the game of tennis originated in the monastic cloisters in northern France in the 12^th century. Back then, the ball was struck with the palm of the hand, hence the game was called jeu de paume (game of the palm). I’m resisting the urge to make any comments about Hashers’ games of the palm. So, back to Run 2285 … when Hashers arrived at the Lindisfarne Tennis Club rooms, they found it locked as fast as any 12^th century monastic cloister. What a deuced balls up! Well, you know what they say … Got a problem? Take it to the court … in this case, to the holders of the keys, so that eventually the doors were unlocked to a hall that was only marginally warmer than the frigid exterior.

A serve to still-newish Hash Cash Rigor Mortis, who has trained hard to develop the foghorn voice necessary to the role and whose call of ‘Who hasn’t paid?’ aced Grizzly at his best. Another serve to still-newish Hash Hops Ratu Steady Eddie, whose first job in the role was to bring beer to the Lindisfarne Tennis Club. Ratu Steady bamboozled himself in the labyrinthian aisles of a Dan Murphy’s on a gallant quest to supply Guinness (and whatever other sh#t was in the eskies) for his fellow Hashers.

Ted Bullpit issued his Hare instructions: there was only one trail; there were Hashing options if walkers wanted to make it shorter, but it wasn’t very long in any case; torches were a necessary accessory. Ah, how Time brings low the mighty! Once upon a time, Ted Bullpit’s trails were notoriously fiendish, vicious, savage – right up there with Thrillseeker at his worst, worthy of the worst blasphemies known to ever pass the lips of Hashers. In contrast, Trail 2285 was quite sedate. Ted Bullpit’s excuse is that he’s not as young as he used to be. But kudos to him for deciding the ball was in his court and setting trail on a long weekend Monday.

So the pack set off, on the coldest night so far this winter. We were scarcely out the door when we hit the first FT. This later proved to be a tactical challenge for Bee’s Dick who, coming to it on the return Home, tried to retrace trail. This incident provides an insight for those who wonder how the Dick Boys and Magic Touch manage to get lost on trail so often.

Trail continued around Talune St, sensibly set on the footpath. Torch-less Hashers, like Spoof, stuck to the lighted road, bleating ‘Are you on?’ every ten seconds. Coupla Weeks was up and down like a tennis ball between light and dark. The trail looped around to Derwent Ave and then turned up toward Natone Hill – obviously the reason for Ted Bullpit’s warning that torches would be a necessary survival item. This seemed a logical point to choose one of those Hashing options that Ted had offered. So this was the last I saw of most of the pack until the final stretch along the waterside at Ford Parade, when the front-runners – Pole Dancer, Lord Limp, Bee’s Dick and Dishlicker – appeared. They had aced the trail in about 40 minutes, a good 10 minutes before other Hashers started to arrive. This accounts for the dearth of photos taken on trail – Pole Dancer is too busy running before Time catches up with him.

Total distance was about 5.5kms, for an enjoyable and scenic trail. The only complaint I heard was about an FT at the bottom of some steep, slippery, dark, ankle-wrenching steps on Natone Hill. It apparently sucked in Hashers because they thought, ‘Ted Bullpit isn’t one of the Most Hated Man in Hash contenders, like ITR or Can’t Stop … Ted would never set an FT down something like that’. Ah, they just didn’t know Ted Bullpit when he was as young as he used to be. This was a valiant effort to redeem his previous reputation.

Back at the On On, Hashers staved off hunger with Dominoes Pizzas … at least the Guinness was good. Stunned Mullet, as promised, was the star attraction of the On On, posing in his mankini to attract wads of cash in support of his upcoming Kododa Trail walk. Notes flowed apiece (or at least, to pieces of Stunned Mullet). The cash-attracting mankini was on loan from Prawn Star, in a touching display of father/son bonding. A proposal to make an H5 Club donation, to further support Stunned Mullet’s RSL selection to walk the Kokoda Trail, was heartily approved by Hashers.

On On – Cracker

SKOLS

• Ted Bullpit: Hare
• Ted Bullpit: organising an On On venue with locked access
• ITR and Bee’s Dick: at Gowrie Park Fling, ITR shared his recovery remedy: coconut water, look for one with the same consistency as semen. Bee’s Dick reports that it worked.
• Stunned Mullet: mankini cash collection to support his Kododa Trail venture
• Rigor Mortis: reported she loves going down
• Sir Eve: alcohol abuse
• Ratu Steady Eddie: chastised ITR for not using his honorific
• Clearfell: At Winton Historics race track, flipped his 1927 car
• Gov’nor Honkers: Hash Millstone: an impressive 1,500 runs, achieved over 35 years of Hashing
• Ratu Steady Eddie: happy to see a defibrillator in the Tennis Club room, given that his previous tennis opponent had a heart attack during the game
• Pole Dancer: making too many bad dad tennis jokes
• Prawn Star – knocking the furniture around as he passes – needs tighter arse cheeks
• Bee’s Dick: on the return Home, tried to retrace trail when he reached the starting FT
• Prawn Star: loaned his ‘one size fits all’ mankini to Stunned Mullet, the ‘one size fits all’ didn’t work so well

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2285

STILL NEWISH! H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Ratu Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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