Volume 43, Issue 2 | April 29, 2024

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2281	13 May	Thrill Seeker	Beltana Hotel, Lindisfarne
2282	20 May	Incoming	TBA for Steady’s 1,000th. extravaganza
2283	27 May	Eager	TBA
2284	3 June	Growler	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of Gynaecological Cancer Research
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

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Run Report

Now, what I want is, Facts. … Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will ever be of any service to them. … Stick to Facts, Sir!’

As the new On Sec, I intend to adopt the philosophy of Dicken’s Thomas Gradgrind, a man of realities. This contrasts with the philosophy of our previous On Sec, Grizzly. Sure, he wrote excellent and droll trail reports that made us smile. But Facts? Geez, he was known to write trail reports on the way to Hash, or from hundreds of kms away. No more! I shall stick to Facts!

FACT #1: It was 9 degrees on the night of Run 2279, with a ‘feels like’ factor of 2 degrees. Such a nice night to have the On On in the Shoreline Hotel’s canvas-walled annex.

FACT #2: Howrah (for the geographically challenged like Magic Touch and Thrillseeker, Howrah is where the Shoreline Hotel is situated) was named after Howrah House, a property established in the 1830s on Clarence Plains by a retired Indian Army officer who took the name from a district of the same name in West Bengal. On the day of Run 2279, the temperature range in Howrah, West Bengal, was 29 degrees to 42 degrees.

So, back in Howrah, Tasmania, Hashers gathered in the chilly cross-winds of the Shoreline Hotel’s annex ready for the first trail of the new Hashing year, newly appointed Mismanagement members eager (or not) to get started in their new roles. Eager had been there for a while and grabbed a prime spot under the biggest heater, threatening to bite the ankles of all challengers for the spot. New Hash Horns Big Mac and Quarter Pounder turned up with horns that had cloned in the night. Eager was concerned that they should stick to their own horns when blowing. Rigor Mortis and TopDek settled into the role of Hash Cash as if they had been doing it forever. New Hash Flash Pole Dancer danced around taking photos of dubious quality.

FACT #3: Joint Master ITR loudly declared 17 times that, now he was in charge, there would be order not chaos. A mistaken sense of Power has gone to his head.

Sir Eve sent the runners off across the highway to play in the traffic; the walkers were directed to go past the bar (and, remarkably, everyone made it past, such was the anticipation of a Sir Eve trail).
Trail followed a nice loop of streets, coming back beach-side with lights twinkling on the water and the lulling sound of waves interspersed with mutters of ‘Fark – how much further?’. Most of the time, I had no idea where I was, a sign of a good trail – Sir Eve had used some clever twists and turns. And it was impossible to get lost because the H5 arrows were frequent and big. The Flat Earthers had little to complain about. As for the runners’ trail – don’t know, don’t care.

FACT #5: The walkers’ trail was 5.93 km with 112 m elevation gain.

FACT #6: Grizzly claims that Cracker can’t count.

Hash Lip Bee’s Dick commenced his first Lip session solo, with a Neverending Story, the point of which sort of escaped me; but it involved nipple licking, reproof for Prawn Star for skipping out on his co-Lip duties and a claim that things would be happening differently under Bee’s Dick’s leadership. Another mistaken sense of Power going to a Hasher’s head.

FACT #7: The power of the pen (or the keyboard) is the only real Power in Hash. I expect that ITR and Bee’s Dick will learn that eventually.

On! On!
Cracker

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SKOLS

• Sir Eve – hare
• Sir Eve – evading cops in his suspicious white van
• Magic Touch – a spin off from the nipple licking story, something to do with a golden snatch
• Magic Touch – getting lost in Woolies while on Trail
• Thrillseeker (Wha’?) – Hashing b#stard, hare or tortoise
• Sonar – dinosaur, suffers from phonophobia
• Luv Shack, Smallgoods, Limp – C#ntry members
• LA – treating Grizzly as a garbage disposal unit
• Just Kidding – Far cough yak hunt
• Bee’s Dick – self promotion skol
• ITR – geriatric driver, holding up traffic on the bridge
• Rigor Mortis – miscalling trail while pretending to be a seagull
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder – horns missing in action on Trail
• Bee’s Dick – sending H5 broke by ordering twice as much skol beer as needed

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2279

ALL NEW! H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2024-25

Grand Master	Clearfell
Joint Masters	Bad News In The Raw
On Sec	Cracker
Hash Cash	Rigor Mortis TopDek
Hash Lips	Bee’s Dick Prawn Star
Hash Hops Assistant Hops	Thrill Seeker Steady Eddie
Trailmaster	Lord Limp
Hash Flash	Pole Dancer
Hash Horn	Big Mac Quarter Pounder
Hashet Managers	Viagra Next Week

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/