Volume 42, Issue 40 | January 22, 2023

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2267	5 Feb	In The Raw	Arms End
2268	12 Feb	Hare required
2269	19 Feb	Eager	Five Mile Beach
2270	26 Feb	Hare required

UP AND CUMMING

29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

As one of the dwindling number of full-time workers, getting to some of the more remote runs requires planning of military precision. More so when the venue is in Baghdad.

Luckily, Bagdad was somewhat closer. Even so, Google was telling me that it would take over an hour from the southern suburbs. However, it appears that Google drives at granny-pace and most had arrived at Chauncy Vale well ahead of time.

As slow as the Google-bot may drive, it had the pace of an Formula 1 champion in comparison to the mobile phone coverage, which was still circling somewhere near 1992. If you stood in a certain place and lifted one foot in the air you could get one soft bar, which was never going to be enough for the money shot.

Free run! (Bad News would later campaign for all trails to be set in Internet black spots.)

Also stepping right out of 1992 was H5 luminary Moo, well and truly putting the c*unt back into country member as the Hasher who introduced Sir Eve to Hashing. Every ‘big boy ginger beer’ hangover is on you, Moo!

Hare Highness Eager (for the fifth time this H5 Hashing year) performed a short smoking ceremony by walking around quickly, then welcomed the Pack to the traditional lands of H5, with landmarks such as ‘Eve’s Bath’, ‘Guvy’s Lagoon’, ‘JK’s Cave’ and ‘Steady’s Sloppy Sinkhole’.

As the walkers followed the valley path, the runners would duck off every now and then to commune with nature, shout ‘FT’ and beat themselves with she oak branches.

At a Master Check we found a couple of tame, full-size wombats, which were soon bare-back mounted by Cracker. (Cracker would have ridden one back to the on-on, but the Firemaster 5000 wouldn’t be making an appearance, and they don’t go well on a barbecue flat plate.)

A recent addition to the Sanctuary was a rope bridge – sturdy, but challenging for those whose sense of balance had packed up and left a long time ago, along with perfect eyesight and a full night’s sleep without a visit to the toilet.

The bridge crossing was punctuated by a FT, meaning that the whole process needed to be repeated, but in reverse. Needless to say, the runners had no trouble.

Bastards.

The runners were invited to visit Gov’nor Honkers‘ lagoon, while the walkers were sent uphill to discover Just Kidding’s dark, cavernous hole. Eventually the runners returned, preferring a peek at JK’s hole over the good Gov’nor’s piss puddle.

Those who felt JK’s dark hole to be a bit too adventurous for their tastes headed back to the on-on along the main path, before being convinced to again tackle the bridge of doom to the track on the opposite side of the creek. Having missed the first traverse, Mr Bean performed as if he’d just stepped off the stage at Cirque du Soleil. (Not as a performer – probably more post-performance clean up.)

You could hear the calls of the walkers as they battled JK’s bushy growth while heading back down the hill, eventually joining the main track for the journey ‘home’.

Once back at the on-on it was realised that we were short one Hasher – no prizes for guessing who. (Okay, so it could have been Thrill Seeker, but guess again… Or Incumming, but it wasn’t.)

With Uber services somewhat scarce, Magic Touch was now relying on the Westpac helicopter for an auto-Hash, but a gallant Bee’s Dick struck out to ensure that the last cooked sausage wouldn’t go to waste.

Everyone was enjoying the last rays of summer sunshine around the on-on when the tranquility of the bush was shattered by a scream.

“Snacky, there’s a snake under your car! I’m not kidding, I’m not f*cking kidding,” screeched TicToc. Sure enough, curled up behind the front wheel of the ute was a large black snake. This attracted a crowd of spectators, maintaining a respectful distance and forming a better circle than was ever achieved by any set of H5 Hash Lips. Brave, brave Snack Bar strode forward to see off this serpentine intruder, but Honkers stepped in to retrieve his rubber reptile, lest brave, brave Snack Bar try to bite its head off.

(If you are reading this and doubting how effective Honker’s fake snake would be, Lord Limp knew that Honkers had put the snake there, yet later on stood there throwing small sticks at it to see if was going to move.)

It was a grand evening’s Hashing – good trail, interesting territory and lots of fun.

On! On!
Grizzly

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SKOLS

• Her Highness Eager and Crackrer – Hare and Co-Hare.
• Moo – can’t remember.
• Gov’nor Honkers – keep your snake in your trousers.
• Lord Limp – saw Honkers plant the snake but still threw sticks at it to see if it would move.
• Snack Bar – asp accomplice.

• Magic Touch – no Uber opportunities.
• Bee’s Dick – going down on trail.
• Mr Bean – complained that the hand ropes on the suspension bridge were too low (Cracker had no complaints…)
• Just Kidding – FRB jacket.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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DATE: Saturday, 16th March 2024
START TIME: Run starts at 11:00 am.
It is a bus run. Bus will be parked on Marion Bay Road
(near Townsend Lane) above the main car park
at the Showgrounds.
VENUE: Bream Creek Showgrounds, Copping.
COST: $10.00 (includes sausages and some drinks).
HARES: H4 Hashers
Enquiries to Biddy (Big Legs) – 0417 331 441
You must comply with the Bream Creek Show Society’s Covid-19 Laws

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2265

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/