Volume 42, Issue 39 | January 15, 2023

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2266	29 Jan	Rigor Mortis	Claremont
2267	5 Feb	In The Raw	Arms End
2268	12 Feb	Hare required
2269	19 Feb	Hare required

UP AND CUMMING

29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

I’ve always been told that South Arm was the ‘Riviera’ of the south. Admittedly, the one telling me that was Vegie but there was a sliver of truth to the tale, if you exchanged the grapes of Cote d’Azur for pink eye potatoes. And ignored the lack of casinos and yachts.

It was enough of a tourist drawcard to attract a decent Pack of Hashers and – as is the case with any tourist destination worth its salt – the obligatory local market selling knock-off paraphernalia. My personal favourite was the Bali Interhash thongs-water skis combo.

The warm summer day (that was it, you’ve had your lot for the year) was now being tempered by a stiff breeze, but was still warm enough for most Harriettes to leave one of many layers behind. Hares Vegie and Round Up tried to talk up a swimming opportunity, but I couldn’t see anyone racing away to grab one of ‘Cut Me Own Throat’ Honker’s discount beach towels.

An early false trail for the runners saw them having to make their way through the clot of walkers up the one hill. Not a Thrill Seeker ‘one hill’, but a hill nonetheless. Prawn Star had roped in a couple of Army Reserve buddies on camp nearby, and felt that he should lead by example by running the hill without stopping. Not that big an ask, but he made it look a lot harder by trying to hold his gut in while doing it.

The Pack nervously eyed Potters Hill to the left; does Vegie do ‘undulations’? Apparently not, as the runners headed in the Direction of the Fort and the walkers dropped down to the walking track, then down onto the beach via a track that was signposted as ‘closed’. (The sign also said that rehabilitation works were in progress – which did not seem to be the case – so it must have been ‘fake news’.) Perhaps not as many swimmers as Palm Beach in Cannes, but still picture-skew.

We combed along the beach then dashed across the rocks, heading for the expected p!ss stop at the boat ramp. Alas – it was not to be, as trail now headed on the roadside path to the northern end of South Arm. (Middle Arm? Elbow?)

Having ensured that we’d generated enough thirst, the Hares took us back onto the beach via a sign. Not a burning bush or a clearly inaccurate ‘track closed’ sign, but one that immediately grabbed our attention. ‘Drink stop!’

An extended version of ‘Chariots of Fire’ played as the Pack made its way along the beach back to the boat ramp, but in the opposite direction to our original foray. Here, the Hares had a modest collection of drinks, possibly left over by previous visitors. (I spied a can of XXXX that I was desperate to get rid of by taking it to Vegie’s, only to see it pop out of the Esky and yell ‘Surprise!’)

As the sun gave up on the picture-perfect orange and golden cast over the beach and shifted to grey and some other colour that might be chartreuse, the dregs of the Pack were treated to a precision display of trailer turning and reversing by a female driver. Viagra was positively ‘tenting’ over the exhibition, noting that DNR has trouble reversing the supermarket trolley out of the collection bay.

A short stroll back to the South Arm Second Hand Goods store, where I battled the Council barbecue, which was about as pointless as a scrotal hair transplant.

Lovely trail Vegie and Round Up – another five degrees warmer and it would have been even better.

With both H5 Lips away getting Botox, it was left to special guest Lips Arsecutter and Grizzly to lead the circle, starting with a special skol of sherry to mark the recent passing of Arsecutter’s mum (sherry being the only alcohol that she would drink, and only once a year).

On! On!
Grizzly

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SKOLS

• Vegie and Round Up – Hares
• Gov’nor Honkers – now cannonised as St Vincent de Honkers.
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder – leaving drool marks on Sonar’s treasured XU1.
• Viagra – loves a woman that can back a large boat trailer.
• DNR, Hands On, Just Kidding, Round Up and Vegie – can’t remembers.
• Prawn Star – trying to get sponsorship from Margate Dental after bringing rock-hard garlic bread to share around.
• Bees Dick – just a bit too comfortable in Honkers’ cast-off red dress.

• In The Raw – 500 run milestone.
• W3 – 125 run milestone.
• Steptoe – 50 run milestone.
• Eric and Kerin – Hashing virgins!
• Contessa Coupla Weeks – suddenly has a lot of beer at home so is bringing her own to Hash for the next few weeks (rather than share it with her friends).
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder – WHO HASN’T PAID!
• Sir McEve – being thrifty with the Hops ice.
• Thrill Seeker – dobbed himself in for NEW SHOES!
• Arsecutter – FRB jacket.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2264

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/