Volume 42, Issue 35 | December 18, 2023

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2262	1 Jan	Thrill Seeker	Oberon Court, Dynnyrne
2263	8 Jan	Steady Eddie	Mt Nelson Oval
2264	15 Jan	Vegie	Opossum Bay
2265	22 Jan	Hare required	TBA

UP AND CUMMING

20 January | High Noon for Full Moons, Mole Creek Hotel
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

---

RUN REPORT

Twas the night before Christmas, and in a mad dash,
The On Sec had forgotten to write this week’s Trash.

Gather ’round children for a Christmas tale of triumph and sorrow, and a broad acre of cheap red felt.

[What is the collective noun for a group of Santa’s? A sack? That sounds about right…]

A sack of Santas gathered upstairs at the Queens Head in anticipation of much Christmas cheer, both intangible and in liquid form.

We welcomed visitors from afar – our own version of the three wise men in Broken Seal and Ladder. (But not so wise that they could count properly.) We also harked some missing Hashers who put the ‘can’t’ back into remember, in Vegie and Round Up.

At the appointed hour, minute and second, someone who wasn’t the Hare but a might hairy instructed the Pack to relocate to the car park, where we had a heart starter and received instructions. P!ss stops that night would outnumber the Ten Tenors – assuming that six of them had prior engagements – but if you were too slow then be prepared for the PS equivalent of a lump of coal.

We spilled out from the car park and headed down through the NoHo main strip, where onlookers went through three phases. The lead Santa would pass by and there would be a double-take, but only the barest hint of acknowledgement that this is not just a normal occurrence. A second Santa would get the quizzical eyebrow usually reserved for someone wearing high-heeled Crocs, or a Collingwood jersey without a balaclava. Or both. The third phase would come when the following phalanx of Santas reached them, resulting in a look could be best described as ‘what the f*ck?’ There was an additional dose of confusion administered by Sir Eve, leaving bystanders to wonder why there was a lone Morris dancer among the group.

So were we.

Chief Elf Eager was on duty handing out lollies to kiddies. Last time I tried doing that I was ‘asked’ to move on in a clear example of height discrimination.

The first second p!ss stop was in St Andrews Park, named after a common word for an area used for recreation. (No Bog Roll – not ‘snatch’.) The persistent mizzle (not rain) prevented the traditional carol singing, all because Gov’nor Honkers insisted on the song books being 100% biodegradable.

On leaving the snatch we passed a group protesting about current events in the Middle East. Probably no point protesting about events a couple of millennia ago, although I do give it my best shot each year. It’s a pity that Steady Eddie hadn’t made it, as he always likes free stuff.

Some of the protestors tried to engage with Hashers, but talking world politics to someone in a fake beard was already covered in The Life of Brian and their hearts weren’t really in it. The ridiculous soon turned into the absurd, as no-one could find trail and we had to make our way back past the protestors, then a third time as Grinch Sonar called us back down toward Elizabeth Street.

The Dick Brothers were looping up and down the side streets while the walkers continued the ex-honourable march toward the third stop, and the smell of burning felt hung heavily in the air.

The Joint Masters were struggling to stay ahead of the thirsty hordes, but natural selection would soon come into play as a big group of them ignored instructions and headed off in the opposite direction while following another club’s trail.

Not Darwin’s. Probably Chardonnay.

Forth PS was adjacent to one of the University campuses, where scholars were busy inside trying to work out why a so-called intelligent person [that rules me out] would use the incorrect version of ‘forth/fourth’, before being distracted from their important work by the sound of a loan Morris dancer. And incorrect use of ‘loan/lone’.

Ah, acedemic life, eh?

There was a mad dash to the last p!ss stop, which was unsurpisingly located in Soundy Park (named in honour of former Hobart Mayor J.T. Soundy, who also didn’t mind a bit of ‘recreation area’), although calling the weird straggling Santas observed by motorists a ‘mad dash’ could be even to far fetched for this publication.

There was a phone call from Cracker seeking guidance from a star in the east, having already accumulated two bits of brown lumpy stuff that may-or-may-not have been coal and decided to catch the local Metro back to the venue. It wasn’t coal, and the consensus was that they didn’t want a third bit and would stay put thank you very much.

Rekindling her Oktoberfest persona, Frau Growler declared nien! to an extended session and marched us off back to the venue.

After a substantial meal and a Circle that I somehow missed, there was a visit from a Santa whose suit was certainly in better shape than most of the imposters, as was his body. Maybe not in better shape, but A better shape.

On On
Grizzly

---

SKOLS

• Growler and Sonar – Hares.
• Lone Arranger – 450 Runs.
• …and other skols I wasn’t there to write down. Many other skols. As in ‘all of them’.

---

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2260

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

---

Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/