Volume 42, Issue 32 | November 27, 2023

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2259	11 Dec	Just Kidding	Berriedale Bay Reserve
2260	18 Dec	JMs – H5 Christmas Run	Queens Head Hotel
2261	25 Dec	CHRISTMAS DAY HASH Lone Arranger & Grizzly	8:30 AM START Kingborough Hub, Kingston
2262	1 Jan	Hare required	TBA
2263	8 Jan	Hare required	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
19 January | High noon for Full Moons, Mole Creek Hotel
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

Thoughts of a post-trail dip were shelved as the tide off Gorringes Beach was lower than North Kangaroo’s premiership aspirations, meaning that you’d have to walk a kilometre just to get your ankles moist.

Lone Arranger set about clearing a private area for Harriettes to ‘be at one with nature’, the by-products of which were a blazing Firemaster 5000 and a nest of disgruntled ants. Magic Touch was the first customer, but hadn’t quite grasped the concept of ‘private’. Only the subtle noise of a dozen Hashers’ heads turning in her direction (and a less subtle shriek from LA) let Magic Touch know that she was about to squat for an audience.

Our last visit to this area was derailed by a truck – but not a rail truck – leaving Hares Gov’nor Honkers and Jerk Off wondering ‘where the bloody hell are you’. Not tonight, as the Pack doubled, tripled, then quadrupled their modest efforts.

Arrivals weren’t as prompt as they might be closer to the ‘big smoke’ even though it’s only a few minutes past the last burned out car of Rokeby. It became increasingly obvious that, for some, following a map was as challenging as following Hash trail. Most notable among the missing was Vyvyan, who it turns out wasn’t good at following directions – nor the car that Viagra thought he attached it to.

There was a meeting of the Sydney Harriettes southern support group, with Robin Hood, Miss Bling and W3 catching up with visiting Hasher Nay Knickers. Bad News and visitor Stretch (aka 4×2) were only there as eye candy.

At the appointed hour – plus a few minutes allowance for the Sandford time zone – Next Week pleaded mea culpa for last week’s ‘day-barcle’, while waiving a birch branch. Seeing the tears well up in his eyes, the assembled Hashers packed away their pitchforks and torches, but made sure that they remained within arm’s reach.

The Pack set off, runners rudely pushing their way past a clot of walkers, there being no bigger clot than In The Raw. The trail made best use of the grid of tracks, with well-placed FTs turning the most casual of strollers into Front ‘Running’ Bastards.

This had some unforeseen consequences as Contessa Coupla Weeks found out while trying to ‘be one with nature’, only to be sprung by DNR and Viagra (who took some time to realise that Cracker had no idea of where to go).

After flirting with the beach, trail soon got to second base. The Hare arranged for some soft furnishings so that those of delicate dispositions could rest before heading home.

As the runners broke onto the beach – somewhat closer to South Arm than the walkers – the testosterone kicked in and the brain cells shut down. Pole Dancer suggested to Lord Limp and Bee’s Dick that the fastest route between two points was a straight line. Now, Pole Dancer knows something about fast routes, but in this instance he also knew that running across what would normally be under water was a dud route.

Which Pole Dancer also knows something about.

The grey skies did lessen the impact of a sunset stroll but – honestly – what else would you want to be doing on a Monday evening.

So, did Next Week atone? It seems so, as Nay Knickers proclaimed it to be the nicest Hash trail she’d been on in a long while. How fortunate for our Sydney Hashers that they didn’t choose last week to visit.

A grand evening out was topped by Astoria Winky Farter’s birthday cake in the a glowing embrace of Firemaster 5000.

On On
Grizzly

SKOLS

• Next Week – Hare.
• Contessa Coupla Weeks and Magic Touch – No. 1 offenders.
• Bee’s Dick and Lord Limp – shallow end of the tidal gene pool.
• Nay Knickers and Stretch – visitors.
• Robin Hood – fashion victim with furry hat and sandals.
• Miss Bling – Mr Bean spotted with a black eye; apparently didn’t fold the towels correctly.

• The Hasher formerly known as Patricia, now known as Klingon due to her unwavering proximity to Big Mac.
• Quarter Pounder – FRB jacket, keeping it in the family yet again.
• Magic Touch – 25 Runs.
• TopDek – 550 Runs.
• Viagra and Cracker – occidental tourists, couldn’t find the on-on because they were using a Chinese version of Google Maps.
• Can’t Stop – heard on ABC Radio talking about the Bruny Ultra and National Park Passes. Does radio use sub-titles?
• Ted Bullpit – lives closest and is usually last to arrive, but not tonight. Losing his touch?
• Bad News – gifts from his home Hash, delivered by Can’t Stop. Apparently the Scots can understand Cantstoppian.
• Cracker – has a courtesy clown car while the Subaru is in having its skirts lifted, but can’t work out how to turn the lights on and may have to stay overnight.
• Grizzly – Hashy birthday. Again.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.
  Who am I kidding, I didn’t write them down in the first place.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2257

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/