Volume 42, Issue 31 | November 20, 2023

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2258	4 Dec	Coupla Weeks	Maddocks Rd, Margate
2259	11 Dec	Just Kidding	TBA
2260	18 Dec	JMs – H5 Christmas Run	Queens Head Hotel
2261	25 Dec	CHRISTMAS DAY HASH Lone Arranger & Grizzly	8:30 AM START Kingborough Hub, Kingston
2262	1 Jan	Hare required	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
19 January | High noon for Full Moons, Mole Creek Hotel
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

After a warm, fine day, we arrived at the on-on to be assailed by a vigorous sea-breeze, with a distinct waft of industry. An overcoat warmer, my arse.

On the opposite side of the river sat the EZ zinc works. Lord Limp told me of the old punt (at least that’s what I think he said) that travelled between where we stood and the zinc works end of Risdon Road. It was a cable-winch punt that had started operation in 1845, and was still in operation when the Tasman Bridge collapsed.

Her Highness Eager, Just Kidding and Cracker were taking particular interest in some of the nearby wooded areas, which may explain why some of the outward trail seemed a bit boggy.

It was Lone Arranger‘s first visit to this spot, despite there having been several previous trails from here. To be honest, I was surprised that she was at this one. Perhaps she didn’t realise that it was a Thrill Seeker trail.

Then it wasn’t.

Lurching out from the bush strode Next Week, lime bucket in hand and grin across his dial. It turns out that Thrill Seeker needed to tap out, and arranged for an advanced Hare replacement (yeah, yeah). I was somewhat relieved by the change as Thrilly’s trails can be ‘challenging’, but I was later to be dissuaded of that notion. (Not the notion that Thrill Seeker‘s trails can be ‘challenging’ – that’s one of the universe’s known constants – but that I should feel relieved.)

Another decent-sized Pack and a variety of car parking philosophies soon filled up the available parking area. In turn, Hashers would leap out of their car, start to walk towards the Hash Cash*, then quickly turn around to find another layer or two to throw on.

* not everyone does this – some find numerous other distractions to avoid settling up!

Viagra massaged Vyvyan into a wind break position, which would be later appreciated by those of a fair disposition. Which is probably everyone.

With nary a claim of ‘rune other yar’, the advanced Hare replacement (yeah, yeah) warned that the trail required some ‘up’ before you could get to enjoy some ‘down’. The science stacked up, but not the reality. Noting the glee with which that statement wasn’t greeted, Next Week offered an alterative route for those who believe that the word ‘up’ should only ever be used to complete the sentence ‘you can stick that right … your arse’.

The first part of trail was pleasant, following the foreshore through to Porter Bay, then it wasn’t.

It was still Porter Bay, but it wasn’t pleasant; it was one kilometre of unbroken up. As in ‘right up’. Gangrene’s dog, with it’s keen animal senses, wasn’t having a bar of it and staged a sit-down protest, and Yes Please‘s body was revolting (a bit harsh) having walked to the top of kunanyi the previous day.

Near the top of this climb there was a split, with the walkers going right and the runners left. After about 500m the runners ran out of enthusiasm. Or trail.

Or both. Phone calls were made and they set about running down the walkers.

Taking a cue from last week’s Hash set by Hands On, trail got a bit… wacky.

Again.

Trail to the right was clearly marked with a ‘RW’, but there was also trail clearly marked on a track to the left. An intelligent Hasher would simply take the RW trail, and most passed that test. A very intelligent Hasher – not many of them to the ‘pound’ – would work out that this extra bit of trail was the runners’ trail re-joining, and most certainly should not be followed. Then there’s the runners…

The words ‘enjoy some down’ did not adequately cover the next section, as we plummeted over 90m in the space of 500m on the horizontal (of which there was none). The terrain might be described as ‘technical’, but they aren’t the words that Cracker used on her descent. W3 shepherded Yes Please back down, prodding her with her walking pole every time YP mentioned the Point to Pinnacle.

Once down, we were again treated to a lovely walk along the Bedlam Walls Track, passing various rusting reminders of industrial folly, spoiled only by middens of discarded plastic bottles and containers.

I learned later that the ‘anti-up’ group had a leisurely stroll along this track, stopped at Tommys Bight for tea and cucumber sandwiches, before returning to the on-on.

As the blazing Firemaster 5000 set about turning frozen meat products into blackened fossils, it was realised that there were quite a few Hashers that had yet to return. There was great concern for Magic Touch, as the chances of attracting an Uber from the upper reaches of the Reserve were as slim as Grizzly isn’t. Big Mac – obviously the smarter of the dick brothers – used his phone to track his brothers down, then left them on hold so that he could cook his dinner.

I do like this area as a Hashing destination, it’s just a pity that there’s so much ‘undulation’. Our thanks to the advanced Hare replacement, Next Week, for stepping in while Thrill Seeker has that nasty haemorrhoid problem dealt with.

On On
Grizzly

SKOLS

• Next Week – Hare.
• Lord Limp – odd socks (which is just fine if you’re a Devonport Hasher).
• Contessa Coupla Weeks – went on a shopping spree at Bunnings, only to reach the register and realise that she’d forgotten her wallet.
• CW – as stand-in Hash Hops, trying to get Hashers irresponsibly p!ssed by buying 8% ginger beer.
• Her Highness Eager, TicToc, Wobbly Boot and Yes Please – pointless pinnacle racists.
• Magic Touch – couldn’t get an Uber in the bush (but the Westpac Rescue Helicopter did fly over).

• Bee’s Dick, Big Mac, Pole Dancer, Quarter Pounder and Patricia – getting lost.
• Patricia – FRB jacket.
• Snack Bar – trying to cook a large, frozen T-bone steak, then wouldn’t share the leftovers with Gangrene’s pup.
• Prickit and Can’t Stop – feeding the Lips ‘fake news’ about the run number.
• Fringe Benefits, Grassroots, Steptoe and Stunned Mullet – well grounded individuals.
• Gov’nor Honkers – needed someone to dress him (jumper on back-to-front).
• Just Kidding – couldn’t work out if Big Mac and Quarter Pounder were twins.
• Cracker – lofty ambitions; threatened to kick Next Week’s arse.
• Grizzly – Hashy birthday.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2256

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/