Volume 42, Issue 30 | November 13, 2023

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2257	27 Nov	Next Week	Belbins Road, Cambridge
2258	4 Dec	Hare required	TBA
2259	11 Dec	Hare required	TBA
2260	18 Dec	JMs – Christmas Run	Queens Head Hotel

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

A moderate spring day, beachside locality and the high likelihood of a flat trail resulted in another large turnout, with 47 half-minds* signing on.

Not everyone made it in time to hear Hare Hands On reference ‘scenic views’, with furtive glances at the unimaginatively-named Single Hill looming large to the south. Yes Please and Kanga arrived as the last of the Pack – Coupla Weeks still wrestling a vaguely pug-shaped child into a carrier – disappeared on trail. As late as they were, there’s always one that is later. Wot?

* The saying goes: If you’ve got half a mind to try Hashing, that’s all you need

After a saunter along the road, true trail headed along the beach and it was here that things got a bit… whacky.

A group of front runners – checking up stairs off the beach – stumbled upon the inward trail and cut about 4km off the trail. The front walkers – struggling to keep up with Bugger Off even though he was wearing thongs – saw the runners disappearing down the track along the creek (but in the opposite direct to trail) and followed suit. The next batch of walkers were intercepted by the Hare, read the riot act, and sent packing back along true trail. Relaying this information to In The Raw was like talking to a Trump supporter – ignoring the bleeding obvious (in this instance the Hare yelling at them that they are going the wrong way, you f*cking idiots) in favour of their version of ‘the truth’ (trail that they had Hashed to get on to).

During the meanwhilst, Yes Please repeated the mistake of the front runners, checking up the stairs and also finding the inward trail, dragging with her most of the redirected Pack. At least one other runner made onto true trail. Wot?

What they all missed out on was a lovely trek out along the foreshore and a return journey along a track that afforded wonderful views. Next Week wondered if this had been a track used by indigenous peoples for centuries, or just a track worn by locals bearing fishing rods, bait buckets and small Eskys appropriately stocked to see them through the afternoon. I suspect the latter, but not mutually exclusive.

Feeling guilty, the Trump supporters tacked onto the runners’ split into the pine forest, via a stroll down the golf course. Like Burke and Wills before him, In The Raw led them to disaster, deciding that a property ringed by an eight-foot, barbed wire-topped fence would have a convenient exit somewhere.

It didn’t.

Instead, the front non-runners were forced to squeeze under a locked access gate in the worst attempt at limbo dancing ever (but not before the great berk ITR climbed under to avoid being caught on camera). No one escaped without their dignity intact. Even Cracker had to shimmy to get through, although I suspect that she could have just walked under but didn’t want to feel left out.

The front runners also felt guilty, heading back out to complete the missed section of trail, probably because Pole Dancer wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed for a measly 35-minute run.

Eventually, everyone did a reasonable interpretation of the trail, and everyone was happy with their lot. Well done Hands On.

Wisely, the Firemaster 5000 remained unlit as the wind and dry conditions were less than suitable, but by the small gods it was missed. Solo Lip Snack Bar called an early circle (had he been corrupted by H4 last week?) and put in a reasonably competent performance.

Faint praise indeed.

On On
Grizzly

SKOLS

• Hands On – Hare.
• Nancy Boy – Hashy birthday FU.
• MOP – mighty effort on the bubbles on Cup day.
• Sonar and Stunned Mullet – broken down hacks.
• Stunned Mullet – took his time walking back after breaking down. (‘Prairie-dogging’ at the nude beach?)

• Patricia – Hash virgin
• Grassroots – went to Sexpo and wanted to buy ‘that big red sex toy’. Was told that she couldn’t have it as it was the fire extinguisher.
• No Knickers and 4×2 – visiting Hashers from Sydney.
• Bugger Off, Organ Grinder and Wobbly Boot – can’t remembers.
• Lord Limp – yet another pair of new runners, but these were women’s shoes (cries a lot and has to sit down to p!ss as a result).
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2255

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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