Volume 42, Issue 28 | October 30, 2023

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2255	13 Nov	Hands On	Seven Mile Beach
2256	20 Nov	Thrill Seeker	TBA
2257	27 Nov	Next Week	TBA
2258	4 Dec	Hare required	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

It has been a while since we’ve had to break out the Hash dress-up box – Oktoberfest and Christmas notwithstanding – and Halloween is a pretty easy get. Granted, some Hashers need no special treatments to look scary – not mentioning any names…

They have a natural propensity to scare little children. And some big children.

Pretty much anyone.

For the rest of us there was a liberal application of ‘this’ll do’, supplemented with a trip to the local Reject Shit or Shitloads (vale Chickenfeed). Some are better at this than others, as demonstrated by Prawn Star‘s ‘bargain’ purchase of Halloween motif scarves, which were hardly big enough to cover Stunned Mullet‘s privates. They did look good on MOP‘s puppies though.

(The scarves, not Stunned Mullet‘s privates. Just wanted to make that clear.)

Regardless, it was good to see most get into the spirit of the occasion (pun unintended), including the innovative use of disposable overalls by the Dick Gang to appear as inmates. Or Beagle Boys. Either worked.

(Would make a great Oompah Loompa outfits too – if you could get them in Cracker and Eager size.)

Hares Mr Pirate of the Carib-Bean and Miss Día de los Bling promised a spine-tingling experience with a huge climax. Then they told us about the trail.

The first part made use of the expansive Cornelian Bay Cemetery. Here the likes of Steady Eddie, Steptoe and Fringe Benefits really got into the swing of Halloween by recreating scenes from a zombie film, although it looked like every other Monday night’s effort from them. There was some concern that a small sign near the gate prohibited dogs from entering. Thankfully for Sugar Babe, her dog couldn’t read.

Walking solemnly through the cemetery does put one into a reflective mood; deep in thought about the lives of those interred within, be they tragically short or staggeringly long. Jerk Off was certainly in a meditative state when Grizzly appeared from behind*, causing Jerky to be ‘called towards the light’, before being dragged back to the mortal plane.

And shitting himself.

* Let’s face it – Grizzly doesn’t ‘appear’. Jerky just needs hearing aids.

Once outside the cemetery, things got really scary with a Lutana cameo, before heading over the Brooker. Commuters looked out and upgraded the Pack from WTF to WTAF.

The runners looped around the New Town rivulet track, before rejoining (most of) the walkers around the back of the hockey grounds, both Packs hitting the promised PS around the same time.

A shorter trail than usual, but it left time for the ‘main event’.

North Americans love their special days. It’s very much ‘go big or go home’. We tend to look at the expansiveness of Halloween – American style – and think ‘that looks like a lot of fun’, but really won’t commit because, yeah nah, it seems like a lot of work that could interfere with quality drinking time.

In terms of ‘big v home’ this was definitely the former, with the mobile pavilion decked out in a Hogwarts-theme, complete with Tinky Winky‘s potions class and a semi-functioning dementia (I think that’s what they called it, although they may have been referring to Steady Eddie). Darth Farter wandered around casting spells such as expelyouranus (used on Jerk Off earlier on trail) and obfuscate (most often incanted in conversation with Thrill Seeker).

It turns out that Mr Bean is a masterbaker (make sure that you read that correctly) and the table was filled with decorated cupcakes. When asked about how the cupcakes were so moist, Mr Bean confided that the secret ingredient was his ‘special masterbaker cream’.

It was sour cream, so maybe not that special.

Yes, I’m sure that’s why they were racing. Not because they were competitive, or anything like that.

Good trail and great p!ss stop, enjoyed by a big Pack. Well done to the virgin Hares.

On! On!
Grizzly

SKOLS

• Mr Bean and Miss Bling – Hares.
• Bad News, Can’t Stop, Flat Cat, Fringe Benefits, Growler, Sedan Chair, Steady Eddie, Steptoe and Stunned Mullet – can’t remembers.
• Prawn Star – purchased Halloween scarves from the Reject Shop to wear tonight, they were only big enough to be worn by small dogs.
• Just Kidding – tried to barbecue herself.
• Triple-K – can’t tell the difference between Steptoe and Fringe Benefits.
• Magic Touch – FRB jacket holder.
• Big Mac and Quarter Pounder – climbing fences while making ‘Spider-man’ noises.
• Stunned Mullet – forced by the Army to have a haircut, and had to pay $15 for it.
• Bad News – JMs presented him with the new perpetual glühwein competition trophy. (Looks like it was found in the cemetery – probably should have washed it out before skolling from it.)
• Quarter Pounder and Bee’s Dick – sprint finish, with QP taking a big shortcut to claim the ‘win’.
• Darth Farter, Tinky Winky and Miss Bling – best dressed award. (Astoria Winky Farter’s first words will be ‘down down down down’.)
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2253

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/