Volume 42, Issue 27 | October 23, 2023

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HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

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RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2254	6 Nov	Combined Clubs Charity Run	Royal Yacht Club
2255	13 Nov	Hands On	Seven Mile Beach
2256	20 Nov	Thrill Seeker	TBA
2257	27 Nov	Hare needed	TBA

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UP AND CUMMING

25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

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RUN REPORT

After some typically atypical spring weather, the area around the on-on resembled a mud run, with water-filled ruts big enough to require a lifeguard, lest certain Hashers not mentioning any names but we all know who they might be not pay enough attention to where they were walking.

Or waddling.

Next Week arrived with Vyvyan, and received ‘helpful’ advice from the lack-of-brains trust as to the trailer’s optimal location. Which clearly wasn’t. To his credit, Next Week, did not tell them to ‘f*ck off’, but gave them a convincing smile through gritted teeth and thanked them for devoting so much of their brain power to the task.

It wasn’t a compliment.

Hare Sir Eve prepared himself to spruik the trail. Newer Hashers – like the Dick brothers and Magic Touch – hung on every word, wondering what thrills the Hare had in store for them through the medium of strategically-placed flour. Those who have Hashed from this very spot wondered if it was Run A, Run B, or Run C, and not particularly liking the any of the options.

Virgin Hasher Ling wondered ‘Who is that fat bastard in front of me? I can’t see who’s talking.’

It was to be Run C – which was probably the best we could hope for as it starts with a scenic walk along the foreshore track. The setting sun made for lovely InstaFace photos, and conveniently blinded Hashers into missing the turn off, as they strolled off into the sunset.

‘Only one hill’ is code for ‘I’m preparing myself for post-trail abuse’, and was best used by Tenzing Norgay in 1953. Our ‘one hill’ was divided into three climbs, and allowed Hashers that were suffering from altitude sickness to divert back to base camp. Apparently, it was contagious*

* not to be confused with a reference to Thrill Seeker – as in ‘it takes the contagious to finish trail’

The final push to the summit was tough. The runners caught up with, then passed the walkers, the speed differential closer to two aged-care residents racing to get the last lamington. Young buck Bee’s Dick and the ‘old snagger’ Lord Limp both seemed keen on lamingtons and presented with contrasting styles – the former draped head-to-toe in sun- and bush-smart attire, while his Lordship was stripped to the waist (with not a lot below the waist, either), which was clearly not sun-smart, bush-smart, or even smart.

At the summit we located some new bench seating, and a somewhat ironic Master Check. Only Pole Dancer saw past the ruse, and continued on; the rest of the runners seemed happy to wait until the entire Pack had arrived. (When I report ‘entire Pack’ I mean; the Pack that had bothered climbing the hill. Excluding those that were just too slow.)

(Or contagious.)

There was the promised vista at the Master Check, albeit largely obscured by trees. Cracker suggested that it would be better if some of the area was clearfelled, which would make great reading in the next Hobart Bushwalking Club newsletter.

‘What goes up, must come down’ doesn’t apply to house prices or general cost of living, but certainly applied to the trail in a rather enthusiastic manner. Grassroots seemed fearful of a trail version of ‘the bends’, and descended every bit as slow as she had ascended. Gingernuts offered moral support, if standing at the bottom of the hill and impatiently checking her watch can be counted as such.

Once descended true trail went via the Highway, but there was a preference to a ‘chose your own adventure’ alternative via the Natone Hill walking track.

Hare Eve stood by the fire and reprimanded those who came in from the wrong direction, which was both pointless (as it was everyone) and a line that could be ended with ‘as the actress said to the Bishop’.

As far as trails from Geilston Bay go, I do prefer ‘Run C’ as it seems somewhat kinder. (As in ‘kinder less sh!t than the other options’.)

On! On!
Grizzly

SKOLS

• Sir Eve – Hare.
• Just Kidding – reducing the height of Natone Hill by two rocks, figuring that future generations of Hashers will thank her.
• Her Highness Eager – crop-dusting on trail.
• Entrance and Pole Dancer – can’t remembers.
• Ling – virgin Hasher.
• Pole Dancer and Eve – the ironic and the moronic. The club’s #2 creep Eve for setting a MC, and Poley for being the only Hasher to not stop.
• Sugar Babe and In The Raw – one has a car that can be unlocked half a world away, the other has delusions of driving a mighty tank.
• Arsecutter – new dog. Got 10m from the on-on before deciding that was far enough. Barbecue Hashers lining up to buy the dog off him.
• Bee’s Dick – FRB jacket holder.
• Entrance – far cough yak hunt, back to Melbourne.
• In The Raw – giving parking directions to Next Week in an ‘I know boats’ sort of way.
• …and other skols I forgot to write down.

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HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2252

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H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	Triple-K
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017 0488 707 068
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/