Volume 42, Issue 12 | July 10, 2023
NEXT RUN | 17 July 2023
Run 2236 from BrewLab
22 Gepp Parade, Derwent Park
Hare: Arsecutter
Cost $5 – buy your own food and drink at the venue
RECEDING HARELINE
| Run No. | Date | Hare Apparent | On On |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2237 | 24 Jul | Rigor Mortis | Mornington Inn |
| 2238 | 31 Jul | Honkers | Globe Hotel, South Hobart |
| 2239 | 7 Aug | Eve | TBA |
| 2240 | 14 Aug | Grassroots | Black Buffalo Hotel, New Town |
| 2241 | 21 Aug | Hare needed! | TBA |
KEEPING THE BASTARDS HONEST
Hares in 2023-24. Make sure that your name appears on this list at least once! (Twice if you’re a Co-Hare)
- Bad News*
- Can’t Stop
- Coupla Weeks
- Eager
- Grizzly (2)
- In the Raw
- KKK
- Limp
- Next Week
- Prawn Star
- Robin Hood*
- Ted Bullpit
- Thrill Seeker
- Wee Willie Winkie*
* Co-Hared trail
UP AND CUMMING
2 September | Posh Hash Posh Ball @ Bellerive Yacht Club
25 December 2023 | Christmas Day Hash
29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
RUN REPORT
PRELUBE
The phone rings. It’s an old rotary dial phone in the corner of the spare room. It’s not plugged in to anything, and only has one caller.
“Grizzly, ol’ chap, it’s Gispert.”
“Hey, G. What’s up?”
“Just wanted a chat about one of your chaps. The one that always carries a raincoat even though he knows that it never rains on a Hash trail.”
“In The Raw? What about him?”
“Well, I’m getting a bit jack of his blasphemous attitude. Is he a special needs person, or is he just an idiot?”
“A bit from column A and a bit from column B.”
“Well, I’ve got half a mind to smite him, just to teach him a lesson.”
“You can do that?”
“Well, no, but I can’t just let him ponce around, questioning the one unbreakable law of Hash.”
“Never cross trail?”
“What? No! Of course you can cross trail. Who told you that? I meant the bit about ‘no rain’.”
“What about May 10, 2018? Also known as ‘The Deluge’.”
“Even a minor deity is allowed a night off every now and then. Dad’s Army was playing in the officer’s mess. I love that show – it never gets old.”
“…”
“Back to this blighter, I think I’ll p!ss on him from a great height this Monday. Clear skies until 6:30, then – whoosh – wetter than a …”
“I’ll stop you there (before you get us both ‘cancelled’) – how will raining on Hash trail convince him that it never rains on a Hash trail?”
“It’s the exception that proves the rule, isn’t it.”
“I never understood that idiom”
“Neither do I, but my half-mind is made up. Prepare for a bucketing this Monday! Gispert out!”
End PRELUBE
The evening started with a proper mugging of Kangaroo, as he celebrated 125 Runs. Just to think – when he started with H5, he was shorter than Cracker.
Nah, only kidding, no one is shorter than Cracker.
Thrill Seeker mounted a chair – I’m not one to judge – and declared ‘Few thin gnomes wear tar nuts scone – ewe rang!*”
“Pulls are bean greens and gets a lurk**” he added, in what could only be a pointed dig at Lord Limp, if we had understood what he was saying. “You’ll need a torch.***”
* “If you think you know where tonight’s trail is going – you’re wrong!”
** “Palms have been greased and gates unlocked”
*** Hmmm, no idea on that one.
As we left the Hotel – runners toward Moonah, the rest toward Lutana – there appeared to be some atmospheric moisture. “Is this rain I feel, Grizzly?”, scoffed you-know-who. By the time we’d reached the Brooker, there was no denying it – it was raining on a Hash trail. I denied it.
At the entrance to the New Town Bay Rowing Club, an inner voice said “It can’t go down there – it’s a dead end.” An outer voice said “I agree”, but as Fat Controller continued calling down the rivulet, the words of Thrill Seeker came flooding back. We didn’t understand them the second time, either.
At the end of the rowing shed there was a gate, and it was “a lurk”. Inside that compound was the rarest of beasts – un-Hashed territory. This was confirmed by Sir Eve – “Never in my 2,837 runs with H5 have I Hashed through here.” (By the time we had left the compound, Eve had 2,842 runs, because that’s the way it works.)
Conditions underfoot were testing, made all the more so by unexpected groundwater. The darkness and the poor visibility made following trail as difficult as following a conversation with Thrill Seeker. There was no “gets a lurk”, but there was a small hole in the chain link fence. An errant shoelace caused Offal to make several attempts to climb through. Either that, or he chose a strange time to perform the hokey-pokey. Triple K was keen to get through before Grizzly, just in case he did a Winnie-the-Pooh. (By that I mean ‘get stuck’, rather than sh!t himself. Although that probably still applies.)
Out on Self’s Point Road, the Hare had unwisely laid trail underneath a raging torrent (of unknown origin) and the Pack was now wandering around and wondering aloud. The runners arrived and did what they do best – complain about trail, then f*ck off to Gispert-knows-where, but at a brisk jogging pace.
The rest, dear reader, is a mystery. Not one of those pot-boiler ones; more like a ‘where the f*ck is that knife I put down just a moment ago’ type mystery. (I know the answer to that one; Lone Arranger picked it up and put it in the dishwasher, even though I hadn’t finished with it.) Trail was now obliterated by extreme condensation, so it was every Hasher for themselves, back to the pub.
The Hotel now smelled like a musty locker room, as many a Hasher realised the importance of a carrying a well-packed Hash bag. It wasn’t all bad news; Bad News and W3 returned with gifts for all – scotch bonnet butt plugs. All the rage in Edinburgh, apparently.
Top Lip TicToc carried the circle, with Snack Bar reduced to repeating ‘any comments about the trail?’. I think that he may have been water-damaged.
On on – Grizzly
SKOLS
- Thrill Seeker – Hare.
- Arsecutter – 125 Runs!
- Next Week – 700 Runs!
- Bad News, Bog Roll, Fat Controller, W3 and Wrectum – can’t remembers.
- Grizzly – reigning on a Hash trail.
- Magic Touch – thought that Hash run fees were for charity.
- Sir Eve and Fringe Benefits – receding Hareline confusion.
- TicToc – mistook Thrill Seeker for Steady Eddie. (Was told that there was a skol for Steady Eddie, but that he wasn’t at Hash this week. “Yes he is – he set the trail!”)
- Next Week – new shoes!
- Offal – Hashy 80th birthday, cake for all!
- …and other skols I forgot to write down.
Who is this ‘Gispert’ person that Grizzly keeps banging on about?
Alberto Esteban Ignacio Gispert, known as “G” – along with Cecil Lee, Frederick Horse Thomson, Ronald Torch Bennett, Eric Galvin, H.M. Doig, and John Woodrow – was a founding member and the driving force in the formation of the original Hash House Harriers in late 1938.
Gispert suggested the name “Hash House Harriers” after the Selangor Club Annex, where several of the original hashers lived and dined, known as the “Hash House”. The “Hash House” got its name for “its hodgepodge of edible servings being passed off for food”.
(The term hash was used as an old British slang for “bad food”.)
No pretensions to athletic prowess, being short, rather rotund, and a bon viveur, great sense of fun, and humour, but underneath noble instincts … he epitomises great fun , good fellowship, with solid qualities
– Cecil Lee
In 1938 “G” joined the part-time militia, the Federated Malay States Volunteer Reservists, reaching the rank of Captain. He was on leave in Australia when the Japanese invaded in December 1941. Although his wife and son had safely returned to England by then “G” rushed back to Malaya and was seconded to the Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders regiment as a Second Lieutenant.
He was killed in action in the Battle of Singapore on 11th February, 1942.
To donate to Hands On‘s fundraising effort,
use the QR code above, or click this link.
HASH FLASH
Link to all photos for Run 2235
To get your Posh Ball tickets, please transfer by direct debit to:
Karen R Shadbolt
BSB 067102
Account Number 28005509
Please put your Hash name in details for identification
H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24
| Grand Master | Triple K | |
| Joint Masters | Growler Sonar | 0412 161 017 |
| On Sec (poxy) | Grizzly | 0419 960 561 |
| Hash Cash | Dishlicker Mother of Pearl | 0408 994 427 |
| Hash Lips | Snack Bar TicToc | |
| Hash Hops | Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve | |
| Trailmaster | Fringe Benefits | |
| Hash Flash | Steptoe | |
| Hash Horn | Fallen Madonna | |
| Hashet Manager | Viagra | 0419 504 105 |
Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com
Hobart Hash House Harriers and Harriettes 
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