Volume 42, Issue 9 | June 19, 2023

RECEDING HARELINE

Run No.	Date	Hare Apparent	On On
2234	3 Jul	In The Raw	TBA
2235	10 Jul	Thrill Seeker	TBA
2236	17 Jul	Hare Needed!	TBA

UP AND CUMMING

29 February 2024 | Leap Year H3 Run 8 (as set by the Phantom Hasher!)
8-10 March 2024 | Interhash 2024, Queenstown, New Zealand
28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle

RUN REPORT

It’s always a bad sign when the Hare starts off with some sort of disclaimer, noting that late-afternoon precipitation may have washed away some of the trail. This is known as the ‘Snacky Clause’. The good news was that Prickit was co-hare, so it wouldn’t be a complete cocque cup.

Cast out into the cold, it was evident that the dribble dropper trail would still be visible next month, but that setting trail with chalk would be as successful as Mr Bean in a limbo competition. Checks and splits required forensic investigation; Rigor Mortis spent five minutes trying to work out which way a series of bird droppings were pointing.

Never fear, Prickit was on hand to shepherd the runners, and Can’t Stop was… doing something. ‘Follow me’ he said, but was walking so slow that Lone Arranger and TopDek overtook him. By the time the slower movers crossed Sandy Bay Road, the trail and their will had evaporated, and the relative warmth of the Civic Club was like a siren call.

Out at the University, the runners were similarly perplexed, but unlike the slower walkers they didn’t have the sense to head ‘home’. In the end, only a handful of expert trackers, led by Thrill Seeker*, managed to piece together trail.

* clearly this is a work of fiction

The remaining walkers – those unencumbered by Can’t Stop – doggedly followed the mere suggestion of trail. We almost lost Kangaroo to fatigue as we passed their house, but he couldn’t get inside because Kharma had barricaded the doors to protect the contents of his beer fridge from marauding Hashers.

Prospects of a PS at Fitzroy Gardens dissipated with the trail, although there was a rather hopeful Steady Eddie hanging around the women’s toilets† in an attempt to make the best out of the situation.

† It turns out that he was waiting for Can’t Stop

Back to the Civic Club for pizza and debrief over the cheapest beer this side of Sir Eve’s home brew.

On on – Grizzly

SKOLS

• Can’t Stop and Prickit – Hare and co-Hare; Prickit’s trail was good, Can’t Stop’s was rubbish.
• Naming of Josh (brother to Half a Bee’s Dick) – Artificial Intelligence used to come up with a Hash name that combined fractions and dicks (no interest in bees); now known as Quarter Pounder.
• Lena – Hashing virgin.
• Bee’s Dick – dumped Quarter Pounder so that he could chaperone Lena around trail, meaning that Quarter Pounder had to run with Pole Dancer.
• Triple K and Sir Eve – Eve put in the Facebook naughty corner; apparently commenting ‘well done KKK’ constitutes hate speech.

• Steady Eddie – another cheap-arse outing with Mrs Steady.
• Fat Controller, Miss Bling and Mr Bean – can’t remembers.
• Can’t Stop, Gov’nor Honkers, MOP, Prickit and TopDek – H5 nude swim team.
• Snack Bar – sneaking a skol for himself because he was too tight to buy his own beer.
• Eve – Hashy birthday, f*ck you.
• Can’t Stop – 650 Runs!
• Her Highness Eager – p!ssing off for three months.
• Plus others, because I forgot to write them down…

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As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that
pleasing everyone is impossible

But pissing everyone off is a piece of cake!

HASH FLASH

Link to all photos for Run 2232

H5 MISMANAGEMENT 2023-24

Grand Master	KKK
Joint Masters	Growler Sonar	0412 161 017
On Sec (poxy)	Grizzly	0419 960 561
Hash Cash	Dishlicker Mother of Pearl	0408 994 427
Hash Lips	Snack Bar TicToc
Hash Hops	Contessa Coupla Weeks Sir Eve
Trailmaster	Fringe Benefits
Hash Flash	Steptoe
Hash Horn	Fallen Madonna
Hashet Manager	Viagra	0419 504 105

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Contact us at hobart.h5@gmail.com

Website https://hobarthash.tripod.com/h5/